Read Online We Give a Squid a Wedgie by C. Alexander London - Free Book Online
Authors: C. Alexander London
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tea.” Dr. Navel smiled. “For your stomach.”
“Oh,” said Oliver, who didn’t know what neem tea was.
“Tea made from the leaves of the neem tree is considered very effective in treating upset stomachs, agitated nerves, and malaria,” Dr. Navel explained. “It’s also quite effective for killing termites.”
Oliver poured it over the side of the boat when his father wasn’t looking.
“Isn’t this great?” Corey strolled over to Celia, watching the deckhands work. “I never knew my fans could be such good sailors.”
“Aren’t you a little suspicious of them?” Celia asked.
“No. Why should I be?” He turned away from Celia and shouted down the length of the boat. “Hey, guys! I almost forgot! I brought a pair of Corey Brandt’s Pocketed Pants for everyone!”
He rushed along the deck handing out colorful pocketed pants.
Celia went to the front of the boat, where Oliver was dangling his legs over the side, and sat quietlynext to him. She didn’t say anything. They just watched the ocean together in silence, like it was a really boring TV show on a really big screen. It felt almost normal.
“Don’t look so glum, guys,” Dr. Navel told the twins. “With a good wind, we’ll reach the Malacca Strait in about a week and then we’ll find the Orang Laut!”
“A week?” Oliver muttered.
“A week?” Celia groaned.
The small crew shared all the responsibilities on the
Get It Over With
, but it became obvious almost immediately that Oliver and Celia couldn’t be left alone for the overnight watch.
On the first night, they both fell asleep and sent the boat wildly off course, right into an international shipping lane.
The whole crew woke to the sirens of a massive ship’s collision alarm.
Corey rushed onto the deck wearing Corey Brandt’s Pocketed Pink Pajamas and spun the wheel hard to port—which is what sailors call left. The boat turned very slowly and the tanker ship moved toward them very fast.
It towered over them, blotting out the sky.
Corey flailed his arms in the air at the crew of the tanker on deck, making the universal sign for panic.
The crew on the deck of the tanker waved their arms back at him, making the universal sign for “we’re your biggest fans.”
If they didn’t turn faster, their boat would be crushed and they would surely be swallowed by the unforgiving sea. Oliver had always thought it would be a lizard bite that did him in. Celia was still looking forward to dying of a broken heart at 102 years old, like Elaine Deveaux on her favorite soap opera,
Love at 30,000 Feet
.
The sailboat kept turning and the tanker honked its horn as their small vessel brushed right past the giant steel hull. They missed it by just a few feet, rising high on its wake in the water and settling back down as the ship passed. Within minutes, the tanker had vanished over the horizon. Dr. Navel offered to stay awake with his children for the rest of the night watch, and the twins quickly fell asleep against his chest.
It became obvious the next day that Corey Brandt could not be given responsibility for an early morning shift, because, being a teenager, hewas completely incapable of waking up before noon.
The deckhands refused to take any of the shifts on watch, as they claimed they were not officers on this expedition and it wouldn’t be right.
“I thought you came from a long line of sailors,” Celia said to Bonnie.
“Uh-huh,” said Bonnie, and went back to cleaning the deck.
After the drama of the first night, however, sailing across the Pacific Ocean didn’t seem particularly dangerous or particularly hard.
It was, like a lot of exploring, quite a bit more boring than an outsider would imagine.
As the first days went by on their way toward the Malacca Strait, Oliver and Celia found themselves without much to do. The TV on board could only play the shows that Corey had brought with him, and they were all Corey’s shows. They rewatched every episode of
Sunset
“Oh,” said Oliver, who didn’t know what neem tea was.
“Tea made from the leaves of the neem tree is considered very effective in treating upset stomachs, agitated nerves, and malaria,” Dr. Navel explained. “It’s also quite effective for killing termites.”
Oliver poured it over the side of the boat when his father wasn’t looking.
“Isn’t this great?” Corey strolled over to Celia, watching the deckhands work. “I never knew my fans could be such good sailors.”
“Aren’t you a little suspicious of them?” Celia asked.
“No. Why should I be?” He turned away from Celia and shouted down the length of the boat. “Hey, guys! I almost forgot! I brought a pair of Corey Brandt’s Pocketed Pants for everyone!”
He rushed along the deck handing out colorful pocketed pants.
Celia went to the front of the boat, where Oliver was dangling his legs over the side, and sat quietlynext to him. She didn’t say anything. They just watched the ocean together in silence, like it was a really boring TV show on a really big screen. It felt almost normal.
“Don’t look so glum, guys,” Dr. Navel told the twins. “With a good wind, we’ll reach the Malacca Strait in about a week and then we’ll find the Orang Laut!”
“A week?” Oliver muttered.
“A week?” Celia groaned.
The small crew shared all the responsibilities on the
Get It Over With
, but it became obvious almost immediately that Oliver and Celia couldn’t be left alone for the overnight watch.
On the first night, they both fell asleep and sent the boat wildly off course, right into an international shipping lane.
The whole crew woke to the sirens of a massive ship’s collision alarm.
Corey rushed onto the deck wearing Corey Brandt’s Pocketed Pink Pajamas and spun the wheel hard to port—which is what sailors call left. The boat turned very slowly and the tanker ship moved toward them very fast.
It towered over them, blotting out the sky.
Corey flailed his arms in the air at the crew of the tanker on deck, making the universal sign for panic.
The crew on the deck of the tanker waved their arms back at him, making the universal sign for “we’re your biggest fans.”
If they didn’t turn faster, their boat would be crushed and they would surely be swallowed by the unforgiving sea. Oliver had always thought it would be a lizard bite that did him in. Celia was still looking forward to dying of a broken heart at 102 years old, like Elaine Deveaux on her favorite soap opera,
Love at 30,000 Feet
.
The sailboat kept turning and the tanker honked its horn as their small vessel brushed right past the giant steel hull. They missed it by just a few feet, rising high on its wake in the water and settling back down as the ship passed. Within minutes, the tanker had vanished over the horizon. Dr. Navel offered to stay awake with his children for the rest of the night watch, and the twins quickly fell asleep against his chest.
It became obvious the next day that Corey Brandt could not be given responsibility for an early morning shift, because, being a teenager, hewas completely incapable of waking up before noon.
The deckhands refused to take any of the shifts on watch, as they claimed they were not officers on this expedition and it wouldn’t be right.
“I thought you came from a long line of sailors,” Celia said to Bonnie.
“Uh-huh,” said Bonnie, and went back to cleaning the deck.
After the drama of the first night, however, sailing across the Pacific Ocean didn’t seem particularly dangerous or particularly hard.
It was, like a lot of exploring, quite a bit more boring than an outsider would imagine.
As the first days went by on their way toward the Malacca Strait, Oliver and Celia found themselves without much to do. The TV on board could only play the shows that Corey had brought with him, and they were all Corey’s shows. They rewatched every episode of
Sunset
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