Wanting What She Can't Have

Read Online Wanting What She Can't Have by Yvonne Lindsay - Free Book Online Page B

Book: Wanting What She Can't Have by Yvonne Lindsay Read Free Book Online
Authors: Yvonne Lindsay
Ads: Link
the front door. Once he had it open he walked through the entrance and kept going into the night—down the unsealed lane that led to the winery, past the winery and on down the hill until he could go no farther unless he wanted to swim the inky dark waters of the harbor.
    He waited until the moon was high in the sky before he clambered back up the hill. The cold air had filtered through his clothing, his long-sleeved cotton shirt—fine in the centrally heated interior of the house—was totally unsuited to the outdoors. Initially he’d barely noticed it. Now, however, he was frozen through and through.
    The outside lights were still on at the house when he got back but, he noted with relief, the large parking bay outside was devoid of cars. He slipped back inside and decided to go directly to his room. He had no wish to see Alexis and face her silent or, more likely, not-so-silent recriminations for ditching the party this evening. He just wanted to be alone. Couldn’t anyone understand that?
    “Raoul? Is that you?”
    Alexis, dish towel still in hand, stepped out of the kitchen and into the hallway. He halted in his tracks—frozen like a possum in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. She was the last person he wanted to face right now.
    “Are you okay?”
    He gave a bitter laugh. “Okay? No, Alexis, I’m not okay.”
    He turned to head to his room but heard her rapid footfall on the carpeted floor behind him. She put out a hand to arrest his progress.
    “I’m sorry, Raoul. Maybe organizing today wasn’t such a good idea,” she said as she drew nearer.
    He wheeled around. “You think?”
    He could see his response stung her but he wasn’t into mouthing platitudes so others could just blithely go on doing what they did without consideration for how it made anyone else feel.
    “I told you that you asked too much,” he growled.
    “I know—now, at least. And I am sorry, Raoul. Everyone understood, though, especially today with it being Bree’s birthday. It was bound to be hard. Even for me. Look, I know how you feel—”
    “Do you?” he said incredulously. “Do you really? I don’t think so. I don’t think that for a minute you could ever understand how I feel so don’t presume to try.”
    “You weren’t the only one who lost her,” she said, her voice small.
    “She was my wife! ” His voice shook, with fury and with something more that rolled and swirled inside him—filling his mind with a black emptiness that threatened to consume him. “She was my world,” he whispered fiercely before striding the short distance to his room where he slammed the door solidly behind him, uncaring as to whether or not he disturbed Ruby.
    He stood in the darkened room, hardly daring to breathe or move in case the angry monster that he could feel growing stronger inside him broke free. The monster that wanted to rail at the world for the unfairness that took Bree from him. The monster that was full of anger toward Bree herself, even though he could never openly express it, because she’d taken the choice of family or her away from him.
    The monster that held the untold disgust he had with himself because, despite everything—the love he’d borne for Bree being paramount in his life—he still lusted for her friend, now more than ever before.

Seven
    A lexis went through the motions of getting ready for bed but she was so wired right now she knew sleep would be impossible. Today had gone off well, if you discounted how it had left Raoul feeling. No one had seemed to mind when he’d cut and run from the gathering, not even Catherine who’d seemed to understand his need to be alone. The party had gone very pleasantly, even if she hadn’t been able to enjoy it, too aware of Raoul’s absence.
    She’d not long thrown herself against the fine cotton sheets of her king-size bed and switched off her light when there was a gentle knock at the bedroom door. There was only one person that could be. She slid from the

Similar Books

Rising Storm

Kathleen Brooks

Sin

Josephine Hart

It's a Wonderful Knife

Christine Wenger

WidowsWickedWish

Lynne Barron

Ahead of All Parting

Rainer Maria Rilke

Conquering Lazar

Alta Hensley