Read Online Volume 2 - The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe by Douglas Adams - Free Book Online

will find your progress down the building greatly facilitated,” the voice lifted, “if you move about two yards to your left. Why don’t you try it?”
    Zaphod looked and saw a series of short horizontal grooves leading all the way down the side of the building. Gratefully he shifted himself across to them.
    “Why don’t I see you again at the bottom?” said the voice in his ear, and as it spoke it faded.
    “Hey,” called out Zaphod, “where are you …?”
    “It’ll only take you a couple of minutes …” said the voice very faintly.
    “Marvin,” said Zaphod earnestly to the robot squatting dejectedly next to him, “did a … did a voice just …?”
    “Yes,” Marvin replied tersely.
    Zaphod nodded. He took out his Peril Sensitive Sunglasses again. They were completely black, and by now quite badly scratched by the unexpected metal object in his pocket. He put them on. He would find his way down the building more comfortably if he didn’t actually have to look at what he was doing.
    Minutes later he clambered over the ripped and mangled foundations of the building and, once more removing his sunglasses, he dropped to the ground.
    Marvin joined him a moment or so later and lay face down in the dust and rubble, from which position he seemed disinclined to move.
    “Ah, there you are,” said the voice suddenly in Zaphod’s ear. “Excuse me leaving you like that; it’s just that I have a terrible head for heights. At least,” it added wistfully, “I did have a terrible head for heights.”
    Zaphod looked around slowly and carefully, just to see if he had missed something which might be the source of the voice. All he saw, however, was the dust, the rubble and the towering hulks of the encircling buildings.
    “Hey, er, why can’t I see you?” he said. “Why aren’t you here?”
    “I am here,” said the voice slowly. “My body wanted to come but it’s a bit busy at the moment. Things to do, people to see.” After what seemed like a sort of ethereal sigh it added, “You know how it is with bodies.”
    Zaphod wasn’t sure about this.
    “I thought I did,” he said.
    “I only hope it’s gone in for a rest cure,” continued the voice; “the way it’s been living recently it must be on its last elbows.”
    “Elbows?” said Zaphod. “Don’t you mean last legs?”
    The voice said nothing for a while. Zaphod looked around uneasily. He didn’t know if it had gone or was still there or what it was doing. Then the voice spoke again.
    “So, you are to be put into the Vortex, yes?”
    “Er, well,” said Zaphod with a very poor attempt at nonchalance, “this cat’s in no hurry, you know. I can just slouch about and take in a look at the local scenery, you know?”
    “Have you seen the local scenery?” asked the voice of Gargravarr.
    “Er, no.”
    Zaphod clambered over the rubble, and rounded the corner of one of the wrecked buildings that was obscuring his view.’
    He looked out at the landscape of Frogstar World B.
    “Ah, okay,” he said, “I’ll just sort of slouch about then.”
    “No,” said Gargravarr, “the Vortex is ready for you now. You must come. Follow me.”
    “Er, yeah?” said Zaphod. “And how am I meant to do that?”
    “I’ll hum for you,” said Gargravarr. “Follow the humming.”
    A soft keening sound drifted through the air, a pale, sad sound that seemed to be without any kind of focus. It was only by listening very carefully that Zaphod was able to detect the direction from which it was coming. Slowly, dazedly, he stumbled off in its wake. What else was there to do?

10
    The Universe, as has been observed before, is an unsettlingly big place, a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore.
    Many would happily move to somewhere rather smaller of their own devising, and this is what most beings in fact do.
    For instance, in one corner of the Eastern Galactic Arm lies the large forest planet Oglaroon, the entire “intelligent”