sooner he faces up to this fact then the better off heâll be!â
Well, thatâs what I said. I believed I had my sonâs best interests at heart. That was why I was so vocal, because I wanted him to have a secure professional life, a good life. Listening up in his bedroom, no doubt he had caught all of my words and none of my intention.
Still, the argument was not my finest moment. I had become shrill and dogmatic but even so I was surprised to discover that Connie was now standing still, wrist pressed to her forehead.
âWhen did it start, Douglas?â she said, her voice low. âWhen did you start to drain the
passion
out of everything?â
29.
world of wonder
âSo why did you become a scientist?â
âBecause I never really wanted to do anything else.â
âBut why ⦠Iâm sorry, Iâve forgotten the subject â¦?â
âBiochemistry, thatâs my PhD. Literally the chemistry of life. I wanted to know how we work; not just us, all living things.â
âWhen was this?â
âEleven, twelve.â
Connie laughed. âI wanted to be a hairdresser.â
âWell, my mum was a biology teacher, dad was a GP, so it was in the air.â
âBut you didnât want to be a doctor?â
âI thought about it, but I wasnât sure about my bedside manner, and the great thing about biochemistry over medicine, my dad said, was that no one ever asked you to look up their bum.â
She laughed, which I found intensely gratifying. Clapham High Street late at night is not the most scenic of routes, and at a little after one in the morning it has its own perils, but I was enjoying talking to her â or talking at her because she was, she said, âtoo off her faceâ to do much but listen. It was a bitterly cold night, and she clung to my arm, for warmth I supposed. She had swapped her high heels for clumpy trainers, and wore a wonderful old black coat with some kind of feathery collar, and I felt intensely proud and protective, and strangely invulnerable too, as we strode past the drunks and muggers, the hens and stags.
âAm I being very boring?â
âNot at all,â she said, her eyelids heavy. âKeep talking.â
âThey used to buy me this magazine,
World of Wonder
or something it was called â my parents wouldnât allow the other ones, the silly ones,
Dandy
or
Whizzer and Chips
or whatever, in the house. So I used to read this terribly dry, old-fashioned magazine and it was full of projects and diagrams and jolly things to do with vinegar and bicarbonate of soda, how to turn a lemon into a batteryââ
âYou can do that?â
âI have that power.â
âYou
are
a genius!â
âThanks to
World of Wonder
. Fun facts! Did you know caesium has atomic number 55? That sort of thing. Of course at that age youâre just like this big sponge, so it all went in, but the bit I loved the best was this cartoon strip, âLives of the Great Scientistsâ. There was one about Archimedes, I could draw it for you now: Archimedes in his bath, making the connection between volume and density, dancing naked down the street. Or Newton and his apple, or Marie Curie ⦠I loved this idea of the sudden beautiful realisation. A light bulb going on, literally for Edison. One individual experiences this flash of insight and suddenly the world is altered fundamentally.â
I hadnât spoken this much for years. I hoped, from Connieâs silence, that she was finding me fantastically interesting, but when I looked her eyes were rolled far back into her head.
âAre you all right?â
âIâm sorry. Iâm just rushing my tits off.â
âOh. Okay. Should I stop talking?â
âNo, I love it. Youâre bringing me down, but in a good way. Wow. Your eyes look massive, Douglas. Theyâre taking up your whole face.â
âOkay. So ⦠should
Well, thatâs what I said. I believed I had my sonâs best interests at heart. That was why I was so vocal, because I wanted him to have a secure professional life, a good life. Listening up in his bedroom, no doubt he had caught all of my words and none of my intention.
Still, the argument was not my finest moment. I had become shrill and dogmatic but even so I was surprised to discover that Connie was now standing still, wrist pressed to her forehead.
âWhen did it start, Douglas?â she said, her voice low. âWhen did you start to drain the
passion
out of everything?â
29.
world of wonder
âSo why did you become a scientist?â
âBecause I never really wanted to do anything else.â
âBut why ⦠Iâm sorry, Iâve forgotten the subject â¦?â
âBiochemistry, thatâs my PhD. Literally the chemistry of life. I wanted to know how we work; not just us, all living things.â
âWhen was this?â
âEleven, twelve.â
Connie laughed. âI wanted to be a hairdresser.â
âWell, my mum was a biology teacher, dad was a GP, so it was in the air.â
âBut you didnât want to be a doctor?â
âI thought about it, but I wasnât sure about my bedside manner, and the great thing about biochemistry over medicine, my dad said, was that no one ever asked you to look up their bum.â
She laughed, which I found intensely gratifying. Clapham High Street late at night is not the most scenic of routes, and at a little after one in the morning it has its own perils, but I was enjoying talking to her â or talking at her because she was, she said, âtoo off her faceâ to do much but listen. It was a bitterly cold night, and she clung to my arm, for warmth I supposed. She had swapped her high heels for clumpy trainers, and wore a wonderful old black coat with some kind of feathery collar, and I felt intensely proud and protective, and strangely invulnerable too, as we strode past the drunks and muggers, the hens and stags.
âAm I being very boring?â
âNot at all,â she said, her eyelids heavy. âKeep talking.â
âThey used to buy me this magazine,
World of Wonder
or something it was called â my parents wouldnât allow the other ones, the silly ones,
Dandy
or
Whizzer and Chips
or whatever, in the house. So I used to read this terribly dry, old-fashioned magazine and it was full of projects and diagrams and jolly things to do with vinegar and bicarbonate of soda, how to turn a lemon into a batteryââ
âYou can do that?â
âI have that power.â
âYou
are
a genius!â
âThanks to
World of Wonder
. Fun facts! Did you know caesium has atomic number 55? That sort of thing. Of course at that age youâre just like this big sponge, so it all went in, but the bit I loved the best was this cartoon strip, âLives of the Great Scientistsâ. There was one about Archimedes, I could draw it for you now: Archimedes in his bath, making the connection between volume and density, dancing naked down the street. Or Newton and his apple, or Marie Curie ⦠I loved this idea of the sudden beautiful realisation. A light bulb going on, literally for Edison. One individual experiences this flash of insight and suddenly the world is altered fundamentally.â
I hadnât spoken this much for years. I hoped, from Connieâs silence, that she was finding me fantastically interesting, but when I looked her eyes were rolled far back into her head.
âAre you all right?â
âIâm sorry. Iâm just rushing my tits off.â
âOh. Okay. Should I stop talking?â
âNo, I love it. Youâre bringing me down, but in a good way. Wow. Your eyes look massive, Douglas. Theyâre taking up your whole face.â
âOkay. So ⦠should
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