Read Online Unveiling the Bridesmaid by Jessica Gilmore - Free Book Online Page A

desperate guilt.
    â€˜So you put everything on hold?’ He sounded disbelieving and she couldn’t blame him; it sounded crazy said so bluntly. But she had had no real choice—not that she wanted to tell him that. To let him know she was responsible for it all. She had to take care of Faith—if it wasn’t for Hope she would have had her family intact.
    She swallowed, the old and familiar guilt bitter on her tongue. ‘I didn’t mind. But it meant my life was so different from my friends’ new worlds—they were worrying about boyfriends and exams and going out and I was worrying about paying bills and childcare. It was no wonder we drifted apart. My boyfriend went to university just a few weeks after the funeral and I knew it would be best to end it then, that I wouldn’t be able to put anyone else first for a long time.’ It had seemed like the logical thing to do but she had hoped that he would fight for her, just a little.
    But he had disappeared off without a word. He was getting married in just a few short weeks, his life moving on seamlessly from grungy teen to pretentious student to a man with responsibilities, just the way it was supposed to. Just as hers was supposed to have done.
    Gael was like a dog with a bone. ‘Let me get this straight: you didn’t date at all? Since you were eighteen you have been single?’
    How could she explain it? It all sounded so drab and dreary—and in many ways it had been. Those first few years when she earned so little, the long nights in alone while Faith slept, studying for her Open University degree, the ever-widening chasm between herself and her school friends until the day she realised she had no one to confide in. Too young for the mums at the school gates and the other secretaries at her law firm, too old at heart and shackled by responsibilities for the few girls around her age she managed to meet.
    And then there was the rest: the lack of money or time to take care of herself and the slow dawning realisation she had lost any sense of style or joy in clothes and hair. It was hard when she had no budget to indulge herself and little time or talent to make the most of what she could afford. But there had been other things that compensated—watching Faith star in her school play, taking her ice skating at Somerset House, organising sleepovers and pamper evenings and home-made pizza parties for her sister and her friends and seeing her sister shine with happiness. Surely that was worth any sacrifice?
    â€˜No, I dated. A little. But I didn’t like to stay out late, even when Faith was older and no one could stay over, it didn’t seem right. And so the few relationships I had never really went anywhere. It’s really no big deal.’
    â€˜Okay,’ but she could hear the scepticism. Hope didn’t blame him. How could she fool him when she had forgotten how to fool herself? ‘Come on.’
    Gael took her arm and turned her down a path on their left, his walk determined and his eyes gleaming with a devilish glint she instinctively both distrusted and yearned for. ‘Where are we going?’
    He stopped in front of a red and yellow brick hexagon and grinned at her. ‘When’s the last time you rode on a carousel, Hope?’
    Was he mad? He must be mad. Hope stared over at the huge carousel. It was like a step back in time, wooden horses, their mouths fixed open, heads always thrown up in ecstasy, their painted manes blowing in a non-existent breeze as the circular structure turned to the sound of a stately polka. ‘I don’t know when I last rode on one,’ she said and that was true. She couldn’t pinpoint the date but she knew it was before Faith was born. Before she had elected to opt out of family life. She vividly remembered standing by the side of a carousel in the park as her parents took her laughing baby sister on one. She had refused to accompany them, had said it