of my
past yet, right?
I see the notice that she has logged on, and
before she even has a chance to greet me with her usual
brief-but-pleasant therapist “small talk”, I launch into my
question.
(LauraDrake): I know you have lots of
delving into my past to do, but I have a question. I need your
advice about something, if you don’t mind.
There’s a short pause during which I wonder
if she’s considering if she should agree or stick to her own
methodical psychological dissection.
I’m pleasantly surprised and relieved when
she agrees. Well, when she sort of agrees.
(Buraquinho_Dr): What’s the question?
It’s my turn to pause as I think of the best
way to word it. It doesn’t take me long to realize that I won’t be
able to get her best guidance if I don’t go ahead and tell her at
least a little bit of what my problem with Alec is.
(LauraDrake): For reasons we have yet to
discuss, I haven’t been able to have an orgasm. It has to do with
some things that happened to me when I was younger. The problem is
that it’s very problematic in any sexual relationship I
attempt.
There’s only a short pause.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Go on.
So I do.
(LauraDrake): I’ve met someone. He reminds
me of Mason Strait, my main male character. I know that’s probably
a whole session right there, but I need more immediate help.
I frown when I read her response.
(Buraquinho_Dr): So what’s your
question?
I don’t want to get into a discussion about
Alec per se. I just want to know if engaging in a sexual
relationship with him could possibly help me.
(LauraDrake): I’m considering a sexual
relationship, but they always end badly. Devastatingly, actually.
It’s been a couple of years since I’ve even attempted it. I’ve not
really been interested until now.
Her question is a good one.
(Buraquinho_Dr): And why are you considering
one now? With this man?
I have to take my time answering, simply
because I know what she’ll probably say if I’m blunt and
honest.
(LauraDrake): I’m very attracted to him.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Why?
And there’s the kicker. Is it because of Alec
himself, of who and what and how he is? Or is it because he
reminds me so much of a man that lives only inside my head?
When I don’t answer, Dr. B prompts me.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Is it because he reminds
you of Mason?
She reads me well. Even though it’s not only because he reminds me of Mason, it has a lot to do with
it.
(LauraDrake): Yes. At least partly, I
think.
I can almost hear Dr. B clearing her throat.
At least that’s how I imagine the session going.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Do you think it’s healthy
to begin a relationship, especially one that you already expect to
have issues with, on grounds such as those?
Who’s the therapist here? I’m supposed to be
asking the questions and she’s supposed to be answering them.
(LauraDrake): Probably not, but do you think
there’s a possibility that this might help me in some way? Be
cathartic somehow?
The cursor blinks as I wait.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Well,
first of all, I think you’d like to think it will help you, but I
believe you have your doubts that it will or you wouldn’t be
asking me. In my opinion, you are seeking
someone to agree with you, to justify you going forward in this
relationship. Secondly, I can’t know if it might be cathartic if I
don’t know the root of the problem. There is the possibility that
it could worsen things. I can make deductions and assumptions, but
those won’t really help. I’ll need more information.
But that will take time. And I don’t have
time.
Or do I? It’s not like he’s called me or
anything.
I squash the feeling of disappointment and
glance at the clock, ever mindful of the time. That’s something
that I find weird about therapy. It’s like I can hear the clock
ticking away the minutes inside my head. And now I’m down
past yet, right?
I see the notice that she has logged on, and
before she even has a chance to greet me with her usual
brief-but-pleasant therapist “small talk”, I launch into my
question.
(LauraDrake): I know you have lots of
delving into my past to do, but I have a question. I need your
advice about something, if you don’t mind.
There’s a short pause during which I wonder
if she’s considering if she should agree or stick to her own
methodical psychological dissection.
I’m pleasantly surprised and relieved when
she agrees. Well, when she sort of agrees.
(Buraquinho_Dr): What’s the question?
It’s my turn to pause as I think of the best
way to word it. It doesn’t take me long to realize that I won’t be
able to get her best guidance if I don’t go ahead and tell her at
least a little bit of what my problem with Alec is.
(LauraDrake): For reasons we have yet to
discuss, I haven’t been able to have an orgasm. It has to do with
some things that happened to me when I was younger. The problem is
that it’s very problematic in any sexual relationship I
attempt.
There’s only a short pause.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Go on.
So I do.
(LauraDrake): I’ve met someone. He reminds
me of Mason Strait, my main male character. I know that’s probably
a whole session right there, but I need more immediate help.
I frown when I read her response.
(Buraquinho_Dr): So what’s your
question?
I don’t want to get into a discussion about
Alec per se. I just want to know if engaging in a sexual
relationship with him could possibly help me.
(LauraDrake): I’m considering a sexual
relationship, but they always end badly. Devastatingly, actually.
It’s been a couple of years since I’ve even attempted it. I’ve not
really been interested until now.
Her question is a good one.
(Buraquinho_Dr): And why are you considering
one now? With this man?
I have to take my time answering, simply
because I know what she’ll probably say if I’m blunt and
honest.
(LauraDrake): I’m very attracted to him.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Why?
And there’s the kicker. Is it because of Alec
himself, of who and what and how he is? Or is it because he
reminds me so much of a man that lives only inside my head?
When I don’t answer, Dr. B prompts me.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Is it because he reminds
you of Mason?
She reads me well. Even though it’s not only because he reminds me of Mason, it has a lot to do with
it.
(LauraDrake): Yes. At least partly, I
think.
I can almost hear Dr. B clearing her throat.
At least that’s how I imagine the session going.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Do you think it’s healthy
to begin a relationship, especially one that you already expect to
have issues with, on grounds such as those?
Who’s the therapist here? I’m supposed to be
asking the questions and she’s supposed to be answering them.
(LauraDrake): Probably not, but do you think
there’s a possibility that this might help me in some way? Be
cathartic somehow?
The cursor blinks as I wait.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Well,
first of all, I think you’d like to think it will help you, but I
believe you have your doubts that it will or you wouldn’t be
asking me. In my opinion, you are seeking
someone to agree with you, to justify you going forward in this
relationship. Secondly, I can’t know if it might be cathartic if I
don’t know the root of the problem. There is the possibility that
it could worsen things. I can make deductions and assumptions, but
those won’t really help. I’ll need more information.
But that will take time. And I don’t have
time.
Or do I? It’s not like he’s called me or
anything.
I squash the feeling of disappointment and
glance at the clock, ever mindful of the time. That’s something
that I find weird about therapy. It’s like I can hear the clock
ticking away the minutes inside my head. And now I’m down
Similar Books
