to the
wire. 11:58.
Where has the time gone?
I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere really. Or
have I? Has she just answered my question in a round-about way?
(LauraDrake): So you’re thinking that I
might be trying to justify doing something that I suspect will be
harmful. Is that about it?
I hope that didn’t come out as snippy as it
felt.
(Buraquinho_Dr): I didn’t say that. That’s
just a hunch. It sounds to me like you want to explore this person
because of his resemblance to Mason, but you’re afraid things will
end badly. And rather than avoiding the pain, you’re more
comfortable justifying it with the thought that it might be worth
it as a therapeutic tool.
Before I can answer, she goes on.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Truthfully, without knowing
all the details, which we don’t have time to get into today, I
can’t truly advise you or help you come to a conclusion that’s
healthiest for you. The best guidance I can give you is to say that
you should try to avoid an intimate relationship until we can
further discuss your mother’s role in your childhood and any sexual
development you achieved during your time with her. I’m guessing
some of your present dilemmas stem from that period.
She’s perceptive, just as I would expect any
therapist worth their salt to be. And she’s right. As much as I
wanted her to agree with Chris, I already knew the wise choice. She
just reiterated it.
That doesn’t keep me from wanting to kick
something in a fit of temper, though. I really wanted her to give
me the green light to explore my real-life Mason. But I’m smart
enough to realize that would end in disaster.
(LauraDrake): Thank you, Dr. B. Sorry I
wasted our whole session with this.
She’s gracious, of course.
(Buraquinho_Dr): If it’s important to you,
it’s something that needed to be addressed. We’ll get into more
next time.
That reminds me of my new schedule for next
week—Oregon. I might as well tell her so that she doesn’t find out
some other way and think I’m avoiding her. Which I actually am. Her
office is in Portland.
(LauraDrake): I’ll be in Portland next week,
but I’ll still be able to log on for our sessions.
Another pause.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Thank you for telling me.
I’d really like for you to consider coming into the office. I know
you think you’re not ready, but you really don’t have to hide from
me. I’m here to help you.
I sigh.
(LauraDrake): I know. And I’ll think about
it.
Just before I log off, I see her
response.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Fair enough. See you on
Tuesday.
The notice pops up that Dr. B has logged off.
She got the last word, one that says she fully expects me to come
to her office on Tuesday.
We’ll see, I think, not having any
real intention of going in for a visit.
I try, ineffectively I might add, to push all
thoughts of therapists and mysterious men from my mind as I plunk
down on my bed to do my nails. The doorbell rings. I know exactly
who it is and she won’t be happy when she sees I’m not ready.
I walk to the door and check the peephole
just to be sure. I see my sister standing in the hall, holding two
cups of my favorite coffee.
I open the door.
“I’m almost ready.”
“What’s this almost crap? I told you
wha—”
“I had a therapy session today, remember?
Therapy I didn’t even want. Therapy someone aggravated me into taking.”
She rolls her eyes, knowing she can’t say a
word about it now. “Fine. I’ll gloat until you’re dressed
then.”
“Gloat?” I shut the door behind her and take
a coffee cup from her hand. I remove the little stopper and take a
sip. “At least you came bearing gifts. I need this after the
sleepless night I had.”
Chris gasps and I glance up at her shocked
yet hopeful expression. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep because
you were stuck between a mattress and a hard man.”
Shaking my head, I turn back toward my
bedroom. “Not
wire. 11:58.
Where has the time gone?
I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere really. Or
have I? Has she just answered my question in a round-about way?
(LauraDrake): So you’re thinking that I
might be trying to justify doing something that I suspect will be
harmful. Is that about it?
I hope that didn’t come out as snippy as it
felt.
(Buraquinho_Dr): I didn’t say that. That’s
just a hunch. It sounds to me like you want to explore this person
because of his resemblance to Mason, but you’re afraid things will
end badly. And rather than avoiding the pain, you’re more
comfortable justifying it with the thought that it might be worth
it as a therapeutic tool.
Before I can answer, she goes on.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Truthfully, without knowing
all the details, which we don’t have time to get into today, I
can’t truly advise you or help you come to a conclusion that’s
healthiest for you. The best guidance I can give you is to say that
you should try to avoid an intimate relationship until we can
further discuss your mother’s role in your childhood and any sexual
development you achieved during your time with her. I’m guessing
some of your present dilemmas stem from that period.
She’s perceptive, just as I would expect any
therapist worth their salt to be. And she’s right. As much as I
wanted her to agree with Chris, I already knew the wise choice. She
just reiterated it.
That doesn’t keep me from wanting to kick
something in a fit of temper, though. I really wanted her to give
me the green light to explore my real-life Mason. But I’m smart
enough to realize that would end in disaster.
(LauraDrake): Thank you, Dr. B. Sorry I
wasted our whole session with this.
She’s gracious, of course.
(Buraquinho_Dr): If it’s important to you,
it’s something that needed to be addressed. We’ll get into more
next time.
That reminds me of my new schedule for next
week—Oregon. I might as well tell her so that she doesn’t find out
some other way and think I’m avoiding her. Which I actually am. Her
office is in Portland.
(LauraDrake): I’ll be in Portland next week,
but I’ll still be able to log on for our sessions.
Another pause.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Thank you for telling me.
I’d really like for you to consider coming into the office. I know
you think you’re not ready, but you really don’t have to hide from
me. I’m here to help you.
I sigh.
(LauraDrake): I know. And I’ll think about
it.
Just before I log off, I see her
response.
(Buraquinho_Dr): Fair enough. See you on
Tuesday.
The notice pops up that Dr. B has logged off.
She got the last word, one that says she fully expects me to come
to her office on Tuesday.
We’ll see, I think, not having any
real intention of going in for a visit.
I try, ineffectively I might add, to push all
thoughts of therapists and mysterious men from my mind as I plunk
down on my bed to do my nails. The doorbell rings. I know exactly
who it is and she won’t be happy when she sees I’m not ready.
I walk to the door and check the peephole
just to be sure. I see my sister standing in the hall, holding two
cups of my favorite coffee.
I open the door.
“I’m almost ready.”
“What’s this almost crap? I told you
wha—”
“I had a therapy session today, remember?
Therapy I didn’t even want. Therapy someone aggravated me into taking.”
She rolls her eyes, knowing she can’t say a
word about it now. “Fine. I’ll gloat until you’re dressed
then.”
“Gloat?” I shut the door behind her and take
a coffee cup from her hand. I remove the little stopper and take a
sip. “At least you came bearing gifts. I need this after the
sleepless night I had.”
Chris gasps and I glance up at her shocked
yet hopeful expression. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep because
you were stuck between a mattress and a hard man.”
Shaking my head, I turn back toward my
bedroom. “Not
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