want to cause a spectacle in front of his relatives . . . so I let it go.
Manny introduced me to his extended family, and one by one, they told me embarrassing stories about him. After a while, my mom announced we needed to head out.
“Please, let me stay,” I said. “You could come back later and pick me up.”
“No. Plus, we still need to give Lily her gift.”
“Right.” I squeezed Manny’s fingers and said goodbye to his family.
We took the elevator to the ICU and followed the signs to Lily’s room. My heart beat faster at the idea of seeing her, but when we got to her room, my heart sank. We stood in the hallway and stared through the sliding glass doors. A gloomy pallor masked her vibrant, tan face. Gauze wrapped around her head where her long brown locks should have been. Ashen lids cloaked her hazel eyes. Hoses and tubes connected Lily to machines and pumps and drains. A ventilator helped her breathe. A gray blanket covered her seemingly lifeless form. This was not the Lily I knew. Her dream was to leave Idaho and explore the world. She had to recover.
“May I help you?” a nurse asked.
“We’re here to see Lily,” my mom said.
“I’m sorry, only family members can visit,” the nurse said. “However, Mrs. Sloane is just down the hall in the waiting area if you want to speak with her.”
“Thank you,” Mom said, and we moved in that direction.
Mrs. Sloane sat with another woman. I smiled when she looked up. The other woman’s face turned bright red, and Mrs. Sloane glanced nervously between her and me. We approached, and they stood. I wanted to give Mrs. Sloane a hug and talk with her, but my body tensed the closer I got to the two women.
“Hi, Mrs. Sloane,” I said. “How’s Lily doing?”
She wrung her hands together. “She’s still unconscious.”
“I’m so sorry—”
“You should be,” the other woman said. Tears tore down her face.
Mrs. Sloane cleared her throat and motioned toward her. “This is Jordan’s mother.”
“Oh,” I said. I’d never met Mrs. Hilaman before. I swallowed and tried to find the right words. “Mrs. Hilaman, I am—”
Jordan’s mom thrust her finger into my face. “Do. Not. Patronize. Me.”
“I wasn’t.”
She stepped closer to me, and I took a step back.
“How can you even justify being here?” She turned from me to my mother. “Either of you?”
“I brought a gift for Lily.” I lifted the glittered pink sack. As soon as I said it, I realized it was a stupid thing to say, but in the tense moment, I couldn’t think straight. Jordan’s and Lily’s moms needed to know how sorry I was, but I said, “We went to the mall—”
And Jordan’s mom slapped me across the cheek.
I dropped the gift to the floor and covered my face. It was the second time in my life I’d been hit by someone. I didn’t deserve it the first time, but maybe I did this time.
Mom stepped in front of me, and in a low, restrained tone she said, “I understand you’re grieving, but don’t ever touch my daughter again. It was a car accident, and Hannah never intended to harm anyone.”
“Leave!” Jordan’s mom pointed toward the elevators. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
Mrs. Sloane covered her mouth and sobbed. I hated myself for causing this grief. I’d give anything to bring Jordan back and make Lily whole again. If only I could.
Mom looped her arm through mine, and we walked away, trembling. The gift sack was left abandoned on the floor.
• • •
I ran up the stairs to my room, slammed the door behind me, and threw myself on the bed. I buried my face in my pillows and cried myself to sleep.
Sometime during the night I awoke, still fully dressed and on top of my covers. The light of the waning full moon shone through my window and cast strange patterns along the upper edges of my walls. The hairs on my forearms stood, and a menacing gloom came over me. The shapes grew and changed, elongated toward the center of the ceiling.
Manny introduced me to his extended family, and one by one, they told me embarrassing stories about him. After a while, my mom announced we needed to head out.
“Please, let me stay,” I said. “You could come back later and pick me up.”
“No. Plus, we still need to give Lily her gift.”
“Right.” I squeezed Manny’s fingers and said goodbye to his family.
We took the elevator to the ICU and followed the signs to Lily’s room. My heart beat faster at the idea of seeing her, but when we got to her room, my heart sank. We stood in the hallway and stared through the sliding glass doors. A gloomy pallor masked her vibrant, tan face. Gauze wrapped around her head where her long brown locks should have been. Ashen lids cloaked her hazel eyes. Hoses and tubes connected Lily to machines and pumps and drains. A ventilator helped her breathe. A gray blanket covered her seemingly lifeless form. This was not the Lily I knew. Her dream was to leave Idaho and explore the world. She had to recover.
“May I help you?” a nurse asked.
“We’re here to see Lily,” my mom said.
“I’m sorry, only family members can visit,” the nurse said. “However, Mrs. Sloane is just down the hall in the waiting area if you want to speak with her.”
“Thank you,” Mom said, and we moved in that direction.
Mrs. Sloane sat with another woman. I smiled when she looked up. The other woman’s face turned bright red, and Mrs. Sloane glanced nervously between her and me. We approached, and they stood. I wanted to give Mrs. Sloane a hug and talk with her, but my body tensed the closer I got to the two women.
“Hi, Mrs. Sloane,” I said. “How’s Lily doing?”
She wrung her hands together. “She’s still unconscious.”
“I’m so sorry—”
“You should be,” the other woman said. Tears tore down her face.
Mrs. Sloane cleared her throat and motioned toward her. “This is Jordan’s mother.”
“Oh,” I said. I’d never met Mrs. Hilaman before. I swallowed and tried to find the right words. “Mrs. Hilaman, I am—”
Jordan’s mom thrust her finger into my face. “Do. Not. Patronize. Me.”
“I wasn’t.”
She stepped closer to me, and I took a step back.
“How can you even justify being here?” She turned from me to my mother. “Either of you?”
“I brought a gift for Lily.” I lifted the glittered pink sack. As soon as I said it, I realized it was a stupid thing to say, but in the tense moment, I couldn’t think straight. Jordan’s and Lily’s moms needed to know how sorry I was, but I said, “We went to the mall—”
And Jordan’s mom slapped me across the cheek.
I dropped the gift to the floor and covered my face. It was the second time in my life I’d been hit by someone. I didn’t deserve it the first time, but maybe I did this time.
Mom stepped in front of me, and in a low, restrained tone she said, “I understand you’re grieving, but don’t ever touch my daughter again. It was a car accident, and Hannah never intended to harm anyone.”
“Leave!” Jordan’s mom pointed toward the elevators. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
Mrs. Sloane covered her mouth and sobbed. I hated myself for causing this grief. I’d give anything to bring Jordan back and make Lily whole again. If only I could.
Mom looped her arm through mine, and we walked away, trembling. The gift sack was left abandoned on the floor.
• • •
I ran up the stairs to my room, slammed the door behind me, and threw myself on the bed. I buried my face in my pillows and cried myself to sleep.
Sometime during the night I awoke, still fully dressed and on top of my covers. The light of the waning full moon shone through my window and cast strange patterns along the upper edges of my walls. The hairs on my forearms stood, and a menacing gloom came over me. The shapes grew and changed, elongated toward the center of the ceiling.
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