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tonight?”
I shook my head. “No way.”
“Aw, no sleepovers yet, huh?”
“Or ever,” I replied as he took another bite of his apple.
Still partially in a trance, I sat on the couch, narrowing my eyes as he sat so close to me, our thighs touched. It appeared my personal bubble was no longer a factor with us. My body was exhausted, and I quickly found myself dozing while in my sedentary state.
Halfway through the movie, I fell asleep. When I woke, the movie was over, and it was dark outside. I looked down; Derek’s head was on my lap and he was curled up in a ball, old cold. I slipped from under him, covering his body with a blanket.
Nice try, Mr. Anderson. I said no sleepovers.
I went upstairs to my bedroom, falling back asleep immediately.
I didn’t know if I should have been offended that he was gone when I woke up the next morning. Above all else, I was thankful. I wanted to be alone. I groaned loudly the second I attempted to get out of bed, my sore skin a reminder of the previous evening’s indiscretion.
I almost didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror, and regretted it as soon as I did. My neck and chest were covered in bites that marred my smooth, chocolate complexion. I’d never had a hickey in my life, and I didn’t want to start now.
Despite my negative emotions over the ordeal, when I inspected myself closely in the bathroom mirror, I saw a glow to my skin. Trailing my fingers over the tender marks, I smiled as I recounted the previous day.
I’d never understood what the big deal was about sex. It was nice, but I didn’t get why people were so obsessed with it. But that was before I’d been with Derek.
What I experienced with him was literally indescribable. It was nothing short of… orgasmic.
I gasped, chewing on my lip as I came to terms with the fact that it was my first orgasm- orgasms , to be correct. I enjoyed having sex with Reggie, but he’d never made me feel like that. How pathetic was I?
I’d finally experienced true pleasure, and it was with a man I could never do it with again. My psyche couldn’t endure any more disgrace.
The weight of my decision began ruining my pleasant reminiscence, and I had to push the bad thoughts away. I didn’t want to tarnish one of my few good experiences in recent memory.
I cleared my throat, straightening my posture. My day was already going to be stressful as my mind raced; I couldn’t make it worse by feeling guilty about my decision.
I pulled my hair into a high bun and started the shower. I just needed to begin my daily routine and forget about everything.
A note waited for me in the kitchen from Derek: Had to run out. Will be back later :)
Halfway through breakfast, my phone rang. My mother had been calling me twice a day, and she wasn’t going to stop until I answered. Now was as good a time as any.
“Hello?”
“Good Lord, Shae. I was starting to think something happened to you!”
I took a bite of my dry toast, not speaking until I finished chewing. “Well… something did happen to me.”
She scoffed. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could pull you into a hug to comfort you right now, but I went to do that at your house, and you weren’t there! Where are you?”
“At the cabin in Colorado. Figured it was a good time to get away.”
“How are you feeling?”
Should I have told her about my suicidal thoughts? My hopelessness? My completely irrational behavior the night before? What could she do for me if I told her I was falling apart? I didn’t want to hear her pity; I just wanted to be left alone.
“I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I feel so powerless. I’m your mother, and there’s nothing I can do for you.”
“It’s alright, Mom. What I need right now is some time for myself. Thank you for checking up on me, but I’m okay. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”
“Have you talked to your sister yet?”
I choked on my sip of coffee. “Why would I do that?”
“Oh baby, family is
I shook my head. “No way.”
“Aw, no sleepovers yet, huh?”
“Or ever,” I replied as he took another bite of his apple.
Still partially in a trance, I sat on the couch, narrowing my eyes as he sat so close to me, our thighs touched. It appeared my personal bubble was no longer a factor with us. My body was exhausted, and I quickly found myself dozing while in my sedentary state.
Halfway through the movie, I fell asleep. When I woke, the movie was over, and it was dark outside. I looked down; Derek’s head was on my lap and he was curled up in a ball, old cold. I slipped from under him, covering his body with a blanket.
Nice try, Mr. Anderson. I said no sleepovers.
I went upstairs to my bedroom, falling back asleep immediately.
I didn’t know if I should have been offended that he was gone when I woke up the next morning. Above all else, I was thankful. I wanted to be alone. I groaned loudly the second I attempted to get out of bed, my sore skin a reminder of the previous evening’s indiscretion.
I almost didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror, and regretted it as soon as I did. My neck and chest were covered in bites that marred my smooth, chocolate complexion. I’d never had a hickey in my life, and I didn’t want to start now.
Despite my negative emotions over the ordeal, when I inspected myself closely in the bathroom mirror, I saw a glow to my skin. Trailing my fingers over the tender marks, I smiled as I recounted the previous day.
I’d never understood what the big deal was about sex. It was nice, but I didn’t get why people were so obsessed with it. But that was before I’d been with Derek.
What I experienced with him was literally indescribable. It was nothing short of… orgasmic.
I gasped, chewing on my lip as I came to terms with the fact that it was my first orgasm- orgasms , to be correct. I enjoyed having sex with Reggie, but he’d never made me feel like that. How pathetic was I?
I’d finally experienced true pleasure, and it was with a man I could never do it with again. My psyche couldn’t endure any more disgrace.
The weight of my decision began ruining my pleasant reminiscence, and I had to push the bad thoughts away. I didn’t want to tarnish one of my few good experiences in recent memory.
I cleared my throat, straightening my posture. My day was already going to be stressful as my mind raced; I couldn’t make it worse by feeling guilty about my decision.
I pulled my hair into a high bun and started the shower. I just needed to begin my daily routine and forget about everything.
A note waited for me in the kitchen from Derek: Had to run out. Will be back later :)
Halfway through breakfast, my phone rang. My mother had been calling me twice a day, and she wasn’t going to stop until I answered. Now was as good a time as any.
“Hello?”
“Good Lord, Shae. I was starting to think something happened to you!”
I took a bite of my dry toast, not speaking until I finished chewing. “Well… something did happen to me.”
She scoffed. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could pull you into a hug to comfort you right now, but I went to do that at your house, and you weren’t there! Where are you?”
“At the cabin in Colorado. Figured it was a good time to get away.”
“How are you feeling?”
Should I have told her about my suicidal thoughts? My hopelessness? My completely irrational behavior the night before? What could she do for me if I told her I was falling apart? I didn’t want to hear her pity; I just wanted to be left alone.
“I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I feel so powerless. I’m your mother, and there’s nothing I can do for you.”
“It’s alright, Mom. What I need right now is some time for myself. Thank you for checking up on me, but I’m okay. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”
“Have you talked to your sister yet?”
I choked on my sip of coffee. “Why would I do that?”
“Oh baby, family is
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