nightmares?” she prompted. “Or trouble getting back into normal society when you went home?”
This time it was I who nudged her under the table. It was painfully obvious he’d always had trouble integrating into society—and it wasn’t just due to any psychological torture at his uncle’s camp for wayward boys.
But to my surprise, Emery flashed a smile— the first evidence I’d seen that he could be happy. I thought of Natalie’s description. She was right. It was like the whisper of a laugh.
“I don’t know,” he finally answered. “I was never that good in a group to begin with. I’m not trying to defend myself, but we had become so controlled that we believed departing from their commands meant eternal damnation. It wasn’t until our knife-handling lessons went from practicing on straw dummies to killing sheep that I finally began to suspect the purpose for which we’d been selected.”
He hesitated a moment, but the smile remained as he focused on Josie. “I liked the feeling of control. I suddenly had power. It was intoxicating. At certain times I still feel it.”
“I’m not sure that’s something you want to advertise,” she warned.
His smile dissolved. “Not to worry,” he answered. “I know it was madness.”
“So what happened next?” she asked.
“On our last day we awoke to find cars with license plates from Utah, Arizona, and California parked outside the main lodge. Porter, Denny, and I were kept in our rooms without food or water. Late that night, after being told to put on our endowment garments, we were blindfolded by a masked figure in a long hooded robe. He led us to an outbuilding that had been off-limits to us before.”
Josie and I exchanged looks. I can’t speak for her, but I was finding all these references to throat cutting and secret pacts by vengeful zealots damned disconcerting. For his part, Emery was really getting into it, his normally placid eyes gleaming with excitement at the recollection.
The store was filling with customers. Josie excused herself to return to the counter. Emery politely stood as she left, then sat down again to continue his tale.
“I heard the door open and felt the presence of several other men. They guided us into the building and down a stairwell to a dank basement. We stood still for an uncomfortable length of time in the chilled atmosphere, listening to the shuffling of robes gathering around us. Finally, the gravelly voice of Uncle Lamar addressed us with the words of the second Mormon prophet, Brigham Young.”
Emery’s voice suddenly altered as if he were having an out-of-body experience—for all I know, maybe he was. Whatever the case, I have no doubt that what I heard next were the exact words declared to him and his two cousins.
“ ‘There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness in this world, or in that which is to come, and if they had their eyes open to see their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon the ground, that the smoke thereof might ascend to heaven as an offering for their sins; and the smoking incense would atone for their sins, whereas, if such is not the case, they will stick to them and remain upon them in the spirit world…There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, or a calf, or of turtle dove, cannot remit, but they must be atoned for by the blood of man.’
”
Emery reverted to his regular voice to explain. “I’d heard the blood atonement speech before, but until then it had always been mentioned as a parable or a theoretical principle, like the gruesome penalties of the Old Testament that no one took seriously anymore. Now, however, I understood that everyone standing before us in that chamber meant to apply this chilling doctrine literally.
“We next heard three taps of a cane on the floor, followed by a different tapping in
This time it was I who nudged her under the table. It was painfully obvious he’d always had trouble integrating into society—and it wasn’t just due to any psychological torture at his uncle’s camp for wayward boys.
But to my surprise, Emery flashed a smile— the first evidence I’d seen that he could be happy. I thought of Natalie’s description. She was right. It was like the whisper of a laugh.
“I don’t know,” he finally answered. “I was never that good in a group to begin with. I’m not trying to defend myself, but we had become so controlled that we believed departing from their commands meant eternal damnation. It wasn’t until our knife-handling lessons went from practicing on straw dummies to killing sheep that I finally began to suspect the purpose for which we’d been selected.”
He hesitated a moment, but the smile remained as he focused on Josie. “I liked the feeling of control. I suddenly had power. It was intoxicating. At certain times I still feel it.”
“I’m not sure that’s something you want to advertise,” she warned.
His smile dissolved. “Not to worry,” he answered. “I know it was madness.”
“So what happened next?” she asked.
“On our last day we awoke to find cars with license plates from Utah, Arizona, and California parked outside the main lodge. Porter, Denny, and I were kept in our rooms without food or water. Late that night, after being told to put on our endowment garments, we were blindfolded by a masked figure in a long hooded robe. He led us to an outbuilding that had been off-limits to us before.”
Josie and I exchanged looks. I can’t speak for her, but I was finding all these references to throat cutting and secret pacts by vengeful zealots damned disconcerting. For his part, Emery was really getting into it, his normally placid eyes gleaming with excitement at the recollection.
The store was filling with customers. Josie excused herself to return to the counter. Emery politely stood as she left, then sat down again to continue his tale.
“I heard the door open and felt the presence of several other men. They guided us into the building and down a stairwell to a dank basement. We stood still for an uncomfortable length of time in the chilled atmosphere, listening to the shuffling of robes gathering around us. Finally, the gravelly voice of Uncle Lamar addressed us with the words of the second Mormon prophet, Brigham Young.”
Emery’s voice suddenly altered as if he were having an out-of-body experience—for all I know, maybe he was. Whatever the case, I have no doubt that what I heard next were the exact words declared to him and his two cousins.
“ ‘There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness in this world, or in that which is to come, and if they had their eyes open to see their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon the ground, that the smoke thereof might ascend to heaven as an offering for their sins; and the smoking incense would atone for their sins, whereas, if such is not the case, they will stick to them and remain upon them in the spirit world…There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, or a calf, or of turtle dove, cannot remit, but they must be atoned for by the blood of man.’
”
Emery reverted to his regular voice to explain. “I’d heard the blood atonement speech before, but until then it had always been mentioned as a parable or a theoretical principle, like the gruesome penalties of the Old Testament that no one took seriously anymore. Now, however, I understood that everyone standing before us in that chamber meant to apply this chilling doctrine literally.
“We next heard three taps of a cane on the floor, followed by a different tapping in
Similar Books
