leave my lips, the hostess appears with a small bud vase and the long stem red rose I’d left at the front. Sheila smiles, then eyes me suspiciously.
“That brings me to a question.” She doesn’t sound mad or anything, but my heart almost stills. “Are you dating anyone else?”
I can’t help it – I take her hand across the table, turn it over, and trace little circles on her palm. She blushes and I know she’s thinking about the little patterns I traced up and down her body the night before. “No. I don’t date very much. Most of the women I know are somehow connected to my work, and I don’t do that. You know, date women I work with. At all. Ever. One of Cothran’s unbreakable policies.”
“So where do you meet women?”
I laugh. “Apparently we’re introduced by friends!”
Her face clouds over. “I’m being serious here, Steffen.”
“So am I. I’m not kidding. I don’t date the women I work with, and the only other place I ever seem to go is the club. And I’ve never been interested in dating a sub from there.”
Now she gives me a hard stare. “Oh, they’re good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to date?”
Most guys would think they’re about to go down in flames, but I’m honest with her. “No, nothing like that. It’s just that most of the women, not all, but most, want more than one guy, I mean, want to have sex with more than one guy. And I’m like Clint; I’m not that into sharing. So that’s not going to happen. Even if they say that’s not what they want, we’ve only got two subs at the club who haven’t had sex with more than one guy there.”
“Trish and who else?”
Uh-oh. Gotta be honest, gotta be honest , I hear playing in my head. “Well, actually, it’s a sub who calls herself Babycakes and one named Katherine.”
One eyebrow goes up. “Trish?”
“Nope.”
“Who?”
I shake my head. “Now you know I can’t tell you that.”
“Yeah? Well, how do you know?”
I let out a big sigh. How did I know this was going to come up? “Because one of them was me.”
For a second I think she’s going to fall out of her chair. The voice that comes out is almost a squeak, and it’s kinda loud. “You! Are you serious?”
“Shhhhh, shhhhhh, please! Yes, me. That was before she and Clint met. And everybody’s fine with it, so don’t make a big deal out of it. She was new, she needed some Doms who had some experience and could be trusted, and I was the first one who came across her radar. Dave gave me the nod – he trained her – so I scened with her.” I can tell she’s having a hard time with this. “Okay, so wait. Let me try to explain all of this.”
She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. “Go right ahead. This should be good.”
Her snarl draws a chuckle out of me. “So we call it scening, and we call it that because we consider it more or less a theatrical performance.”
“Even the sex?” Now she’s leaning in toward me, elbows on the table, and I know I have her attention.
“Yes. Understand: A lot of clubs don’t allow actual sex acts in the performance areas, just simulated or none at all. But Dave believes sex is an integral part of the BDSM performance, so he’s always allowed it. Does that make sense?”
Something passes across her eyes and her face falls. “So everything you did with me was an act?”
Oh, god, this is going the wrong direction. “No, no, no! No, we just call pretty much everything scening because it’s just how we talk, but no, that wasn’t how I considered it at all. No, babe, that was as real as it gets. Didn’t it feel real to you?”
Sweeping her hair back from her face, she nods. “Yes, it absolutely did.”
“That’s because it was. Every word I said to you last night, every touch, every kiss, that was real for me.” This is it, and even though I know it’s pretty damn stupid on my part, it’s like I just can’t stop, like I’m compelled to do it. “Sheila, I
“That brings me to a question.” She doesn’t sound mad or anything, but my heart almost stills. “Are you dating anyone else?”
I can’t help it – I take her hand across the table, turn it over, and trace little circles on her palm. She blushes and I know she’s thinking about the little patterns I traced up and down her body the night before. “No. I don’t date very much. Most of the women I know are somehow connected to my work, and I don’t do that. You know, date women I work with. At all. Ever. One of Cothran’s unbreakable policies.”
“So where do you meet women?”
I laugh. “Apparently we’re introduced by friends!”
Her face clouds over. “I’m being serious here, Steffen.”
“So am I. I’m not kidding. I don’t date the women I work with, and the only other place I ever seem to go is the club. And I’ve never been interested in dating a sub from there.”
Now she gives me a hard stare. “Oh, they’re good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to date?”
Most guys would think they’re about to go down in flames, but I’m honest with her. “No, nothing like that. It’s just that most of the women, not all, but most, want more than one guy, I mean, want to have sex with more than one guy. And I’m like Clint; I’m not that into sharing. So that’s not going to happen. Even if they say that’s not what they want, we’ve only got two subs at the club who haven’t had sex with more than one guy there.”
“Trish and who else?”
Uh-oh. Gotta be honest, gotta be honest , I hear playing in my head. “Well, actually, it’s a sub who calls herself Babycakes and one named Katherine.”
One eyebrow goes up. “Trish?”
“Nope.”
“Who?”
I shake my head. “Now you know I can’t tell you that.”
“Yeah? Well, how do you know?”
I let out a big sigh. How did I know this was going to come up? “Because one of them was me.”
For a second I think she’s going to fall out of her chair. The voice that comes out is almost a squeak, and it’s kinda loud. “You! Are you serious?”
“Shhhhh, shhhhhh, please! Yes, me. That was before she and Clint met. And everybody’s fine with it, so don’t make a big deal out of it. She was new, she needed some Doms who had some experience and could be trusted, and I was the first one who came across her radar. Dave gave me the nod – he trained her – so I scened with her.” I can tell she’s having a hard time with this. “Okay, so wait. Let me try to explain all of this.”
She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. “Go right ahead. This should be good.”
Her snarl draws a chuckle out of me. “So we call it scening, and we call it that because we consider it more or less a theatrical performance.”
“Even the sex?” Now she’s leaning in toward me, elbows on the table, and I know I have her attention.
“Yes. Understand: A lot of clubs don’t allow actual sex acts in the performance areas, just simulated or none at all. But Dave believes sex is an integral part of the BDSM performance, so he’s always allowed it. Does that make sense?”
Something passes across her eyes and her face falls. “So everything you did with me was an act?”
Oh, god, this is going the wrong direction. “No, no, no! No, we just call pretty much everything scening because it’s just how we talk, but no, that wasn’t how I considered it at all. No, babe, that was as real as it gets. Didn’t it feel real to you?”
Sweeping her hair back from her face, she nods. “Yes, it absolutely did.”
“That’s because it was. Every word I said to you last night, every touch, every kiss, that was real for me.” This is it, and even though I know it’s pretty damn stupid on my part, it’s like I just can’t stop, like I’m compelled to do it. “Sheila, I
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