heâd never yet seen looking less than watchful. She wouldnât take anything on faith. She had consciously decided to accept what he saidâfor as long as it made sense to do so. He didnât think she gave a damn about his word.
âI hope Iâve set your mind at ease,â he said nonetheless, because one said certain things.
âI wouldnât hang well,â she replied with a grim little smile, and then went briskly on. âI donât recall this man you talk about. We do have peddlers once in a while. Once in a great while. Itâs possible.â
âPossibilities are all I have to go on just now. Itâs my duty to look into them.â
âAh,â she said. âSpeaking of duty, I should be getting back to mine.â
The lady got to her feet. Naturally, he did too, and the size and excessive furniture in the room meant they stood facing each other for a moment, only a step or two from touching. Close at hand, Lady MacAlasdair smelled of autumn leaves and woodsmoke. William felt his pulse quicken.
Being a gentleman, he kept his eyes on her face. He did not let himself regard the way her breasts swelled beneath her blouse. He did, however, see the movement of her throat as she swallowed before speaking.
âI still donât know what youâre hoping to find here, Mr. Arundell,â she said. âDead is dead. Bad, goodâonce itâs over, itâs over, and most of the time itâs better that way. No answer youâll get here will change that, not from me nor from any of my folk.â
Eight
Judith didnât sleep easily that night.
She couldnât blame all of that on Mr. Arundell. Sleep wasnât as chancy for her now as it had been when sheâd first come back from the outside world, but she still had bad nights caused by a scrap of conversation troubling her dreams, or a face looking too much like one sheâd seen in pain, or seemingly nothing at all. Changes in weather, phases of the moonâthe mind turned on itself once in a while, and it did little good to ask why.
Why was never a good question. Sheâd tried to tell Arundell that. She doubted heâd take it to heart. People always wanted reasonsâand he wasnât the one to convince, if heâd been telling the truth.
Judith thought heâd come closer to honesty than on the day heâd met her. The thought brought her no triumph, nor any real sense of relief. It was almost more disturbing to know that she could get a straight answer out of him if she pressed hard enough. It made her feel almost obligated to try.
Almost compelled to.
She paced the room in the moonlight, feeling the floor beneath her feetâreassuringly solid and cold, motionless and dry. She had learned that pacing helped. Flying didnât, not unless she gave herself so fully to the flight and the hunt that she risked discovery. She had lived too long among humans to find comfort in inhuman things.
Men had made the floor and the walls. She could not break them, not in this form and not without difficulty in the other. The rugs were braided wool, the dresser carved oak, the lamps on the wall brass and oil that sheâd seen put in herself. These were normal things, everyday things. Judith caught them with her mind and steadied herself, turned away from the fields of blood and the sound of cannon.
Once itâs over, itâs over , she heard herself say.
She laughed into the empty room.
Well, it was over, but nobody got through life unscarred, and a sleepless night had never killed her yet. She did hope Arundell was having as restless a time. She wouldnât wish her dreams on him, but maybe a screech owl could take up residence outside his window. He hadnât given her the dreams, but heâd certainly stirred them up this time, he and his need for perspective.
Heâd stirred up a few other things too. Sheâd meant to be disparaging with that glance at his
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