and I couldn’t let him see it. So I pulled the gun and I shot him. I didn’t know it was your dad until later!”
“And then you just kept right on going?” He never told us any of this. He lied to our faces. And when things kept getting worse, he kept lying. “Even after the earthquakes and when we were chasing Eric Brandt around?”
“You fucking got me shot for no reason,” Eli added. It would sound cold to anyone else, but I knew him. I knew he was thinking what I was. That everyone who died because of the earthquakes, that was all on us. Not just because we accidentally fell into a portal and ended up on the wrong world. Not just because we were trying to get home and made a few mistakes. Not just because of an accident.
Janelle swayed a little, reaching out a hand. I grabbed her waist, trying to steady her as she leaned over, and then I pulled back her hair as she heaved.
I should have known it was Reid. I should have stopped him.
That’s what I was thinking when the portal opened. The cool rush of portal air opened right next to us, and I had a moment of panic where I wondered what I had done to open it up. Only two soldiers came through the portal alive. With their guns trained on us, one of them shouted, “Get on the ground, hands behind your head.” I recognized the voice. It was the guy we followed, the guy who shot Eli.
“Right now!” the other one shouted. It was Taylor Barclay.
I was going to do what they said. I held on to Janelle to make sure that she would do it too. I had no doubt that these guys would shoot her if they needed to.
At first I thought they shot at us anyway. I heard the guns go off and waited to feel the pain. Janelle turned. I grabbed her, suddenly convinced she’d been hit. I tried to see if she was bleeding, and where, but she struggled against my grip and threw herself behind me.
I turned to follow her. But one of the soldiers grabbed me and pushed me to the ground. My face hit the dirt.
“Help!” Janelle screamed, and I smelled the blood.
I turned, despite the gun trained on me, and saw it was Alex. She was kneeling over him, while Reid was holding a gun.
“It’s Reid!” she screamed just as he raised the gun.
There was another shot, and he fell. Crumpled to the ground. I knew instantly he was dead.
When I finally did manage to fall asleep, it was fitful. At first it was the images of Reid, holding the gun and falling to the ground. Then it was Alex, the hole in his neck, the blood pouring out, covering Janelle’s and my hands. I heard the gunshots, I tried to save them, but no matter what I did differently, it always ended the same. Their blood soaked the ground. I stood alone, staring into their empty but open eyes.
When the dreams changed, I saw only Janelle.
She was standing at the edge of a chasm. Between us was blackness—empty and vast, like a portal. Even though I wasn’t moving, it felt like I was somehow getting farther and farther away. She looked smaller and blurrier with each second that passed. Her features were less defined, and I struggled to somehow see her more clearly.
I called out to her, but she didn’t look at me. I called again. I screamed her name, but she didn’t seem to hear me.
Then she turned her head like she was looking down into the blackness. I looked into it and saw nothing, and somehow I knew that was very, very bad. I yelled out to her again. I needed her to look at me. I didn’t want her to see into the black. I shouted her name. I begged for her to turn, to see me. I even jumped and waved my arms to get her attention.
She kept staring down into the chasm.
Then there was a loud cracking noise and she fell to the ground.
I woke up covered in sweat, heart pounding, and I couldn’t help but feel like it hadn’t been just a dream.
It felt like a warning.
T hree weeks passed.
On day two Eli moved in with his mother and her new family. She insisted. He smiled and put on a good show, but I knew him well
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