recent changes taking place that I was not comfortable with my body. I noticed that Abram did not like hanging around me during this time each month. My hips were becoming curvier and I had hair growing in places I never had before now. I was no longer such the tomboy any longer. As much as I may have wanted to remain that dear sweat little girl that thinks more like a boy than a girl and run about, climb trees, getting dirty, catch frogs ect. I cannot even begin to tell you on how happy my mother was about this development. I was at that awkward, in-between, uncomfortable, embarrassing stage in my life - not comfortable in either world. I was very uncomfortable with my body these days and with the acne on my face, everything seemed like a constant battle.
Trying to make me feel somewhat improved, Momma said, “You are now a moth, which is now transforming into a beautiful butterfly.” Right, of course. My body had been going through a miraculous transformation, that at the moment felt odd, and foreign, but by the time I was transformed into a butterfly, it would all make sense to me, at least that’s what I was hoping, because right now I had more questions than answers.
So, I went through this - little did I know just how much that would transform my once simple uncomplicated life. Momma as well as Sissy tried to play these changes as a positive. I did not quite see it the same way they did, not seeing what the upside to all this could possibly be.
There was a cost that was coming with these said changes I have been experiencing. Abram and I had somewhat now had less in common than we once had - drifting apart since I was becoming less, interested in the things I was once into - the things that we had in common. As much as I tried to be interested in these things - the same stuff that once entertained me - I just could not help myself, and I was becoming an emotional wreck. But I wasn’t the only one going through such noticeable changes, or showing interest in new things. Abram was turning into a teenager, going through changes of his own.
I was starting to see the world around me differently. Abram and I weren’t spending as much time with one another any more. And I began seeing him in an entirely new - I might add much unexpectedly exciting - light.
Speaking of my dearest friend, over the last year, he too had been experiencing quite a growth spurt. I was once slightly taller than he was, by a good two inches, now he was at least four inches taller than I was. His voice was changing and his voice would crack. He had certain awkwardness about him, though he was taller, his body had not filled in. And of course, he was clumsy – all teenage boys seem to go through a phase of falling over their feet, as if their brain still thinks they are as they were. Like baby calves, finding their feet for the first time. I was drawn to the rapidly reshaping boy - my friend who kno ws nearly all my secrets – as I know his. He was becoming a slight, handsome stranger, though neither of us were currently sharing certain secrets.
My interests were broadly shifting apart - I was starting to identify with, and turned out to be similar to what my older sister had meant four years earlier - when I was around eight, and she was thirteen, she had acted snobbish towards me. I had wanted her to play children games with me, but she had rejected me, or so I had thought. She clearly declared, “She no longer had time for such childish games.” I remember that, because that is when she completely stopped playing with me altogether. It was scary, but I was starting to morph into my sister - I was on the road to becoming a young woman like her. Now I was realizing that wasn’t such a bad thing, if I was to just let nature take over, and see were
Trying to make me feel somewhat improved, Momma said, “You are now a moth, which is now transforming into a beautiful butterfly.” Right, of course. My body had been going through a miraculous transformation, that at the moment felt odd, and foreign, but by the time I was transformed into a butterfly, it would all make sense to me, at least that’s what I was hoping, because right now I had more questions than answers.
So, I went through this - little did I know just how much that would transform my once simple uncomplicated life. Momma as well as Sissy tried to play these changes as a positive. I did not quite see it the same way they did, not seeing what the upside to all this could possibly be.
There was a cost that was coming with these said changes I have been experiencing. Abram and I had somewhat now had less in common than we once had - drifting apart since I was becoming less, interested in the things I was once into - the things that we had in common. As much as I tried to be interested in these things - the same stuff that once entertained me - I just could not help myself, and I was becoming an emotional wreck. But I wasn’t the only one going through such noticeable changes, or showing interest in new things. Abram was turning into a teenager, going through changes of his own.
I was starting to see the world around me differently. Abram and I weren’t spending as much time with one another any more. And I began seeing him in an entirely new - I might add much unexpectedly exciting - light.
Speaking of my dearest friend, over the last year, he too had been experiencing quite a growth spurt. I was once slightly taller than he was, by a good two inches, now he was at least four inches taller than I was. His voice was changing and his voice would crack. He had certain awkwardness about him, though he was taller, his body had not filled in. And of course, he was clumsy – all teenage boys seem to go through a phase of falling over their feet, as if their brain still thinks they are as they were. Like baby calves, finding their feet for the first time. I was drawn to the rapidly reshaping boy - my friend who kno ws nearly all my secrets – as I know his. He was becoming a slight, handsome stranger, though neither of us were currently sharing certain secrets.
My interests were broadly shifting apart - I was starting to identify with, and turned out to be similar to what my older sister had meant four years earlier - when I was around eight, and she was thirteen, she had acted snobbish towards me. I had wanted her to play children games with me, but she had rejected me, or so I had thought. She clearly declared, “She no longer had time for such childish games.” I remember that, because that is when she completely stopped playing with me altogether. It was scary, but I was starting to morph into my sister - I was on the road to becoming a young woman like her. Now I was realizing that wasn’t such a bad thing, if I was to just let nature take over, and see were
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