Read Online Undertow by Leigh Talbert Moore - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Leigh Talbert Moore
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home alone, I decided it might work.
I was just so angry with Billy. He wouldn’t return my calls during the day, and when I suggested we have another baby, he was so dismissive and cold. He didn’t even seem to care that I was suffering.
I decided to give him one more chance, so last night when he got home, I planned to bring up the subject gently. But he looked so happy and satisfied after a day accomplishing his dreams, I completely lost my temper.
“Hard day at the office?” I asked sarcastically.
“You should see the way it’s all coming together, Meg. It’s going to be exactly the way I dreamed it would be.” His blue eyes gleamed with satisfaction, and the fist of anger tightened even more in my chest. “Bryant’s got the crews running like they were choreographed, and Alex keeps turning out interiors that you just wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m so glad the three musketeers are having such a great time self-actualizing.” That was a word I’d learned in one of my magazines. It meant following your dreams, something I was never allowed to do, it seemed.
“Yeah, I guess that’s what we’re doing,” he said, looking down. “What did you do today?”
“I brought Will to school, came home, watched TV, read a magazine. Waited for school to get out. Picked up Will, and then made your supper.”
His brow lined. “Is that a good day?”
I slammed to my feet. “It’s the most pointless existence I can imagine.”
“Well, maybe the part about TV and the magazine, but the other parts weren’t pointless.” He actually had the nerve to look concerned. “Will loves having his mommy there to pick him up and play with him, and I know I’m glad you made us dinner.”
“Bill!” I shouted. “I want to be more than a nanny and a personal chef. I want to have another baby!”
“Meg,” he groaned. “Don’t start.”
“I’m not a child. You can’t just dismiss me like that. You always just try to dismiss me.” My silly eyes felt hot with tears.
“I’m not dismissing you,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “I’m asking you to wait and be reasonable. We’ll have another baby as soon as we have our new house.”
“It’s going to take at least a year to build that house. I can’t wait a year.”
“Sure you can. And then you can have as many babies as you want.”
“I want to start now,” I demanded. “It’ll take nine months for another baby to even get here, and that’s if we managed to get pregnant today, which it would have to be immaculate the way things have been.”
He didn’t answer, and I felt bad for attacking him that way.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “But I feel like I’m going to do something desperate.”
“Like what?”
“Like… I don’t know. But I want another baby.”
His eyes flashed at me. “I said we have to wait.”
“And I said I don’t want to wait.”
For a moment we only glared at each other. Then his jaw clenched. “I’ll be very unhappy if we get pregnant again right now.”
“Well, it would be your fault if it happened,” I said, pushing my hair back. “You’re turning me into a desperate woman.”
He nodded. “I’ll try to get home more and spend more time with you. We can get through this. It’s like empty nest or something.”
“It’s more than that.”
I’d gone to bed angry with him. I didn’t even want to kiss him goodnight, and I’d stayed angry for months. I hated the way I was feeling, and I was sorry that I was taking it out on him. But I couldn’t help it. I was mad, and Billy didn’t seem to care.
Jan. 15, 19--
I can’t believe it. Just when I’d given up on us, Billy turned around and surprised us all with a trip to Mexico. He must be the sweetest husband ever. I was sad, and he found a way to take us all on vacation. He called it a business trip to investigate the competition, but I couldn’t care less about that. I had to go shopping.
Mama was coming home to keep Will while we went, and it
I was just so angry with Billy. He wouldn’t return my calls during the day, and when I suggested we have another baby, he was so dismissive and cold. He didn’t even seem to care that I was suffering.
I decided to give him one more chance, so last night when he got home, I planned to bring up the subject gently. But he looked so happy and satisfied after a day accomplishing his dreams, I completely lost my temper.
“Hard day at the office?” I asked sarcastically.
“You should see the way it’s all coming together, Meg. It’s going to be exactly the way I dreamed it would be.” His blue eyes gleamed with satisfaction, and the fist of anger tightened even more in my chest. “Bryant’s got the crews running like they were choreographed, and Alex keeps turning out interiors that you just wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m so glad the three musketeers are having such a great time self-actualizing.” That was a word I’d learned in one of my magazines. It meant following your dreams, something I was never allowed to do, it seemed.
“Yeah, I guess that’s what we’re doing,” he said, looking down. “What did you do today?”
“I brought Will to school, came home, watched TV, read a magazine. Waited for school to get out. Picked up Will, and then made your supper.”
His brow lined. “Is that a good day?”
I slammed to my feet. “It’s the most pointless existence I can imagine.”
“Well, maybe the part about TV and the magazine, but the other parts weren’t pointless.” He actually had the nerve to look concerned. “Will loves having his mommy there to pick him up and play with him, and I know I’m glad you made us dinner.”
“Bill!” I shouted. “I want to be more than a nanny and a personal chef. I want to have another baby!”
“Meg,” he groaned. “Don’t start.”
“I’m not a child. You can’t just dismiss me like that. You always just try to dismiss me.” My silly eyes felt hot with tears.
“I’m not dismissing you,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “I’m asking you to wait and be reasonable. We’ll have another baby as soon as we have our new house.”
“It’s going to take at least a year to build that house. I can’t wait a year.”
“Sure you can. And then you can have as many babies as you want.”
“I want to start now,” I demanded. “It’ll take nine months for another baby to even get here, and that’s if we managed to get pregnant today, which it would have to be immaculate the way things have been.”
He didn’t answer, and I felt bad for attacking him that way.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “But I feel like I’m going to do something desperate.”
“Like what?”
“Like… I don’t know. But I want another baby.”
His eyes flashed at me. “I said we have to wait.”
“And I said I don’t want to wait.”
For a moment we only glared at each other. Then his jaw clenched. “I’ll be very unhappy if we get pregnant again right now.”
“Well, it would be your fault if it happened,” I said, pushing my hair back. “You’re turning me into a desperate woman.”
He nodded. “I’ll try to get home more and spend more time with you. We can get through this. It’s like empty nest or something.”
“It’s more than that.”
I’d gone to bed angry with him. I didn’t even want to kiss him goodnight, and I’d stayed angry for months. I hated the way I was feeling, and I was sorry that I was taking it out on him. But I couldn’t help it. I was mad, and Billy didn’t seem to care.
Jan. 15, 19--
I can’t believe it. Just when I’d given up on us, Billy turned around and surprised us all with a trip to Mexico. He must be the sweetest husband ever. I was sad, and he found a way to take us all on vacation. He called it a business trip to investigate the competition, but I couldn’t care less about that. I had to go shopping.
Mama was coming home to keep Will while we went, and it
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