Read Online Undertow by Leigh Talbert Moore - Free Book Online

her eyes. “And you said I’d learn that being around people who loved me was a good thing.”
    “You weren’t gone very long.” I wanted to be sure she was sure of her decision. “You might’ve found people out there who loved you. And Atlanta’s not all concrete and drone. It has colors and trees.”
    “And cars. Oh, God.” She pushed her fingers into her hair. “The traffic in Atlanta is a nightmare.”
    “So you came back to get out of the traffic?”
    “No. I just… time passes and people change. You know that.”
    I nodded.
    “And aren’t you glad I’m back?” She asked. “I thought we were supposed to be some great team. This is a terrible reception I’m getting here. Instead of happiness, it sounds like you’re trying to send me packing again.”
    “No!” I cried. “I’m sorry. I am glad you’re back. Since Mama moved to Sedona, it’s been just me and little Will, and you know how much Billy hates Winnie Hayes.”
    “Oh, God.” Her dark eyes rolled. “Those people are the worst.”
    “Winnie’s actually nice. Her husband I think is the bad seed in that relationship.”
    “She doesn’t protest too loudly. In fact, it seems like she’s right there giving him ideas half the time.”
    “Maybe you’re right,” I said, hooking my arm in hers. “But it doesn’t matter now! You’re back, and we’re going to pick up right where we left off.”
    “Well, with one slight modification. Unlike last time, Bill is going to expect me to report to work every now and then.”
    “Just leave Billy to me.”
     
    Sept. 10, 19--
    I dug out my journal for the first time in… I can’t believe it. Almost four years have passed since that last entry! There’s no way I can go back and fill in all that’s happened, so we’ll just have to start with where we are now.
    When Lexy (I’m still calling her Lexy) said she’d come back, I’d been so looking forward to spending more time with her and us getting back to the old team we’d once been. As it turned out, she was more of a team with Billy and Bryant than with me, and I was home alone as much as ever. Every night I was completely miserable when Billy came in, but he never seemed to notice.
    He graduated with honors, of course, and I hoped when school ended he’d adopt a more family-friendly schedule. But with college behind him, he started working harder than ever at the office. I was usually asleep when he got home, and if I wasn’t, we never seemed to have anything to talk about.
    When Will was a baby, that had been fine, but the first day I dropped him off at kindergarten, I knew something had to give. I was crying hysterically when I reached the car, and I had to drive back to the house and have a mimosa so I could get control of myself. That’s when I called Lexy, and of course she came running.
    I couldn’t believe when she suggested I stage an “accidental” pregnancy. It was like an omen, and that silly mimosa had loosened me up so much I spilled the beans about little Will.
    Here you go, Journal. Moment of Truth. (Now that Lexy knows, I don’t know why I shouldn’t write it here.) I did not accidentally get pregnant senior year. Yep. That’s right. I did it on purpose, and I can’t believe I got drunk and told Lexy.
    Now don’t start thinking I’m so devious. It was the only way I could see to hold onto Billy back then with him and Bryant starting on their big development plans. It was like he was forgetting all about our future together, my dreams, and it was making me desperate. The fact that I’d intentionally gotten pregnant with little Will was something I planned to take to my grave, but I was safe. Lexy would never tell Billy.
    Then the other day, when she suggested I “accidentally” get pregnant out of the blue like that, I felt like she was inadvertently saying what I’d done before had been okay. So I told her.
    And I’ve thought about repeating what I did a lot. As the days passed, and I kept finding myself