cheek before returning back to the tree trunk.
"TRCF was away," I said, kissing his cheek as well. "Mrs. Griffin subbed for the class and you know how much she hates that job."
Adam nodded, still engrossed in whatever it was that was occupying his attention.
"What do we have here?" I asked.
"Nothing, I just saw an insect crawl in it. I was curious."
I bit my lip as I processed his words. So this was his way of passing time? Examining tree barks? My heart bled for him.
As if reading my mind, he turned around and released himself from my grasp.
"So what's new?" he asked, sitting on the ground with his back against the tree.
"We're going to have the annual seniors play fest," I said, settling beside him.
"That's great. What's it all about?"
" A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens."
"Who are you going to play?"
"I don't know. We'll be talking about it next week. Maybe they’ll hold auditions for it."
"Are you going to try out?"
"No, I'm also not the acting type, remember?" I said, shoving him on the chest. "And I think I have enough credits to get me to a decent college. If I'm going to join this year's play fest, I might as well apply myself as an art director or props maker or something."
Adam nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He placed his hand behind his head and sighed.
"What?" I asked.
"What?" he asked back, avoiding my gaze.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing, I'm not blind, Adam," I said. "What's wrong?"
He turned his head slightly, though he still wouldn't met my eyes. "You mentioned about going to college, and I was just wondering if you started sending out your applications."
"Oh, that..."
"NYU, right?"
Now it was my turn to avoid his gaze as I felt his eyes fix on my face.
It wasn't a secret that I had always dreamed of studying at NYU. I spent so much time talking to Sara and Adam about the adventures I'd have if I got accepted that they practically knew them by heart.
I would've sent my application the moment I finished filling out the forms, but with the current state of things, going to college was the least of my concern. I know it was ironic, and my parents would kill me. And yet, I heard myself say, "Yes."
Sometimes, lying is much easier than the telling truth.
Adam's eyes narrowed. "But?"
"There's no but, Adam," I said, keeping my voice even despite the growing uneasiness I felt.
"Your expression says otherwise," he said, stating the obvious. "You won't go?"
I didn't answer. I didn't have to. We knew each other well enough to hear the unspoken words between us. Much like how my parents had communicated around me the past few months.
"Why?" he asked.
Because I'm afraid that I might lose you, I thought. But I couldn't tell him that. "I can always stay here and go to a community college−"
"No," he said, his voice was firm. It reminded me of when my dad used to reprimand me when I was little.
"But−"
"There's no but, Kat," he said, repeating my own words. "We're not having this conversation again. Stop feeling sorry for me."
"I'm not."
"We both know you are."
A flock of birds flew across the sky, distracting us both, and I took the opportunity to stand up and grab my bag.
"You're leaving already?"
"I have a lot of things to do," I said, beating dust off my jeans. "I have some college application forms that I need to fill out."
Adam's expression remained stoic, but I saw his lips twitch. "I'm just helping you do the right thing," he said.
"Okay."
He tilted his head surveying me. "You're angry."
Why wouldn't I be? I knew he was right about being right, but I was hoping that he'd understand. He didn't have to pretend that he wasn’t worried that we might end up not seeing each other anymore. I didn't know how this thing worked, but I had the feeling that being away from him would change things.
"See you tomorrow then," Adam added when I didn't respond.
I turned around to look at him, but he was looking the other
"TRCF was away," I said, kissing his cheek as well. "Mrs. Griffin subbed for the class and you know how much she hates that job."
Adam nodded, still engrossed in whatever it was that was occupying his attention.
"What do we have here?" I asked.
"Nothing, I just saw an insect crawl in it. I was curious."
I bit my lip as I processed his words. So this was his way of passing time? Examining tree barks? My heart bled for him.
As if reading my mind, he turned around and released himself from my grasp.
"So what's new?" he asked, sitting on the ground with his back against the tree.
"We're going to have the annual seniors play fest," I said, settling beside him.
"That's great. What's it all about?"
" A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens."
"Who are you going to play?"
"I don't know. We'll be talking about it next week. Maybe they’ll hold auditions for it."
"Are you going to try out?"
"No, I'm also not the acting type, remember?" I said, shoving him on the chest. "And I think I have enough credits to get me to a decent college. If I'm going to join this year's play fest, I might as well apply myself as an art director or props maker or something."
Adam nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He placed his hand behind his head and sighed.
"What?" I asked.
"What?" he asked back, avoiding my gaze.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing, I'm not blind, Adam," I said. "What's wrong?"
He turned his head slightly, though he still wouldn't met my eyes. "You mentioned about going to college, and I was just wondering if you started sending out your applications."
"Oh, that..."
"NYU, right?"
Now it was my turn to avoid his gaze as I felt his eyes fix on my face.
It wasn't a secret that I had always dreamed of studying at NYU. I spent so much time talking to Sara and Adam about the adventures I'd have if I got accepted that they practically knew them by heart.
I would've sent my application the moment I finished filling out the forms, but with the current state of things, going to college was the least of my concern. I know it was ironic, and my parents would kill me. And yet, I heard myself say, "Yes."
Sometimes, lying is much easier than the telling truth.
Adam's eyes narrowed. "But?"
"There's no but, Adam," I said, keeping my voice even despite the growing uneasiness I felt.
"Your expression says otherwise," he said, stating the obvious. "You won't go?"
I didn't answer. I didn't have to. We knew each other well enough to hear the unspoken words between us. Much like how my parents had communicated around me the past few months.
"Why?" he asked.
Because I'm afraid that I might lose you, I thought. But I couldn't tell him that. "I can always stay here and go to a community college−"
"No," he said, his voice was firm. It reminded me of when my dad used to reprimand me when I was little.
"But−"
"There's no but, Kat," he said, repeating my own words. "We're not having this conversation again. Stop feeling sorry for me."
"I'm not."
"We both know you are."
A flock of birds flew across the sky, distracting us both, and I took the opportunity to stand up and grab my bag.
"You're leaving already?"
"I have a lot of things to do," I said, beating dust off my jeans. "I have some college application forms that I need to fill out."
Adam's expression remained stoic, but I saw his lips twitch. "I'm just helping you do the right thing," he said.
"Okay."
He tilted his head surveying me. "You're angry."
Why wouldn't I be? I knew he was right about being right, but I was hoping that he'd understand. He didn't have to pretend that he wasn’t worried that we might end up not seeing each other anymore. I didn't know how this thing worked, but I had the feeling that being away from him would change things.
"See you tomorrow then," Adam added when I didn't respond.
I turned around to look at him, but he was looking the other
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