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from the 1980s TV sitcom Cheers.
On suntans:
    â€œIt’s a little-known fact that the tan became popular in what is now known as the Bronze Age.”
On Freud:
    â€œA Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”
On intelligence:
    â€œThe human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
On Music:
    â€œI wonder if you know that the harp is a predecessor of the modern day guitar. Early minstrels were much larger people. In fact, they had hands the size of small dogs.”
On pigs:
    â€œIt’s a little-known fact that the smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them.”
On women:
    â€œAh, just like all women. If they’re not turnin’ down your proposal of marriage, they’re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”
On politics:
    â€œIf you were to go back in history and take every president, you’ll find that the numerical value of each letter in their name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yellnick McWawa.”
On dating:
    â€œThere’s no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”
    Largest living thing on Earth: an underground mushroom in Oregon, 3.5 miles across.

WEDDING SUPERSTITIONS
    If you’re planning a wedding, there’s a lot to remember. And if you’re superstitious, you may have even more to juggle.
T HE BIG DAY
    Good Luck: Pick a date when the moon is waxing (increasing in size) and an hour when the tide is rising. Also be sure to time the wedding ceremony so that it ends in the second half of the hour, when the minute hand is rising on the face of the clock. Don’t stop there: Everything associated with the wedding should be moving up, up, up! Anything that rises or grows promises rising fortunes for you and your spouse.
    Bad Luck: Don’t schedule the wedding for early in the morning. That will bring bad luck—and it’s not just a superstition: in the old days the groom, and sometimes even the bride, needed ample time to clean themselves up after morning farm chores, lest they risk showing up at church smelling of animals and manure. (Nowadays it gives the groom a chance to recover from his bachelor party or whatever antics went on the night before.)
THE DRESS
    Good Luck: White has been a lucky color for formal weddings in the West for more than a century; for informal ceremonies, any color will do…except for black or red.
    Bad Luck: Black symbolizes death—only widows can wear it—and red, the color of the devil, is unlucky too. If a woman wears a red wedding dress, 1) she and her husband will fight before their first anniversary or 2) her husband “will soon die.”
THE VEIL
    Good Luck: The woman who puts the veil on the bride should be happily married. If possible, the bride should wear the veil her grandmother wore, to ensure “that she will always have wealth.”
    Bad Luck: No one other than members of the bride’s familyshould see her veil before the ceremony, and once she is fully dressed, she shouldn’t look in the mirror again until after the ceremony is over. She should leave one small article of dress, perhaps a ribbon or a pin, undone so that she can add it at the last minute without having to look in a mirror.
    Origin of the term bridal shower : English brides used to buy “bride ale”