Read Online Unbreakable: My Story, My Way by Jenni Rivera - Free Book Online
Authors: Jenni Rivera
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Jacquelin, was born on November 20, 1989. She was this skinny, fragile baby as a result of the circumstances we had lived through while I was pregnant with her. I rode my bike for miles every day. I hardly ate or slept. I was depressed and cried all the time. Yet, from the moment she was born, Jacqie had this beautiful, joyful spirit. My mother said that I should have named her Dulce (Candy) because she was so sweet.
Now that I had two babies depending on me, I knew I had to start making better money. I was determined to get out of my parents’ house and into a place of my own as soon as possible. While working at the bank, I noticed that some customers continuously made large deposits to their accounts.
One day I asked one of these customers what he did for a living. He said he was a real estate agent for one of the realty offices in the area.Immediately, an idea sparked in my mind. I wanted to make the kind of money he was making. I decided to quit school temporarily and enroll at Anthony’s Real Estate School in Torrance. Four months later I had my license and was hired at the Century 21 offices on Pacific Avenue. Few Hispanic women worked in real estate, so I recognized that I could fill that void. I would pay Chiquis and Rosie to pass out flyers in the neighborhood to potential real estate clients, and in my first month I sold six homes, which was unheard of in that office. With that money I was able to purchase my first home on Fifty-Fifth Street in Long Beach. I was twenty years old.
Stupidly, during the time I was in real estate school, I began to see Trino again. For a smart person, I can be a real dumbass sometimes. But I was in love with him. He was the father of my children. He was the only man I had ever been with, and so, despite all of his faults, I still thought I could make it work.
He moved into the house on Fifty-Fifth Street, and for a while we did make it work. Things were good between us for a year or so. Through my contacts at work he was able to get a job as an entry-level loan officer. I introduced him to the business and he got busy at work, so we didn’t have much time to fight. I thought we were finally on stable ground, so when I found out I was pregnant with our third child, I was happy. I wanted to have a boy, and on September 11, 1991, I got my wish.
While I was in labor with our son, Trino went to the car and fell asleep. Almost instantly, I went from being five centimeters dilated to ten. The nurse came in to check on me and said, “You are ready. Don’t push yet. I’ll get the doctor.” But my baby boy did not want to wait. As soon as the nurse left the room, I delivered my son all by myself. I was there with my baby, his umbilical cord still attached, and I felt so alone.
“It’s just me and you, little boy,” I told him. Soon I realized the truth of those words. My son was not going to have his father in his life. We named him Trinidad, after his father, but years later he would change his name to Michael, severing the last remaining thread between father and son.
Breaking Away
Espere mucho tiempo pa’ ver si cambiabas
Y tú ni me miras.
( I waited so long to see if you’d change.
And you didn’t even look at me. )
—from “Nieves de Enero”
I gained sixty pounds when I was pregnant with Michael, and after I delivered him I was hit with the baby blues (nobody called it postpartum depression back then). When I least expected it, the fights with Trino were back, and they were much worse this time. Once again he belittled me and called me fat. He got heated and jealous over the most minor situations. I was bringing in the most money and bearing the financial responsibility of raising three kids and paying a mortgage, and maybe that made him insecure, so he tried to keep me down. Who knows?
It’s crazy how violent, possessive relationships can become so addictive. For so long I kept going back for more, and each time I did,I somehow thought that I was strengthening our
Now that I had two babies depending on me, I knew I had to start making better money. I was determined to get out of my parents’ house and into a place of my own as soon as possible. While working at the bank, I noticed that some customers continuously made large deposits to their accounts.
One day I asked one of these customers what he did for a living. He said he was a real estate agent for one of the realty offices in the area.Immediately, an idea sparked in my mind. I wanted to make the kind of money he was making. I decided to quit school temporarily and enroll at Anthony’s Real Estate School in Torrance. Four months later I had my license and was hired at the Century 21 offices on Pacific Avenue. Few Hispanic women worked in real estate, so I recognized that I could fill that void. I would pay Chiquis and Rosie to pass out flyers in the neighborhood to potential real estate clients, and in my first month I sold six homes, which was unheard of in that office. With that money I was able to purchase my first home on Fifty-Fifth Street in Long Beach. I was twenty years old.
Stupidly, during the time I was in real estate school, I began to see Trino again. For a smart person, I can be a real dumbass sometimes. But I was in love with him. He was the father of my children. He was the only man I had ever been with, and so, despite all of his faults, I still thought I could make it work.
He moved into the house on Fifty-Fifth Street, and for a while we did make it work. Things were good between us for a year or so. Through my contacts at work he was able to get a job as an entry-level loan officer. I introduced him to the business and he got busy at work, so we didn’t have much time to fight. I thought we were finally on stable ground, so when I found out I was pregnant with our third child, I was happy. I wanted to have a boy, and on September 11, 1991, I got my wish.
While I was in labor with our son, Trino went to the car and fell asleep. Almost instantly, I went from being five centimeters dilated to ten. The nurse came in to check on me and said, “You are ready. Don’t push yet. I’ll get the doctor.” But my baby boy did not want to wait. As soon as the nurse left the room, I delivered my son all by myself. I was there with my baby, his umbilical cord still attached, and I felt so alone.
“It’s just me and you, little boy,” I told him. Soon I realized the truth of those words. My son was not going to have his father in his life. We named him Trinidad, after his father, but years later he would change his name to Michael, severing the last remaining thread between father and son.
Breaking Away
Espere mucho tiempo pa’ ver si cambiabas
Y tú ni me miras.
( I waited so long to see if you’d change.
And you didn’t even look at me. )
—from “Nieves de Enero”
I gained sixty pounds when I was pregnant with Michael, and after I delivered him I was hit with the baby blues (nobody called it postpartum depression back then). When I least expected it, the fights with Trino were back, and they were much worse this time. Once again he belittled me and called me fat. He got heated and jealous over the most minor situations. I was bringing in the most money and bearing the financial responsibility of raising three kids and paying a mortgage, and maybe that made him insecure, so he tried to keep me down. Who knows?
It’s crazy how violent, possessive relationships can become so addictive. For so long I kept going back for more, and each time I did,I somehow thought that I was strengthening our
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