Read Online Two Weeks with the Queen by Morris Gleitzman - Free Book Online

Alistair.
    Colin began to wish Alistair hadn’t come.
    They got off the bus in the middle of the freezing, empty city and Colin looked at his map under a streetlamp.
    â€˜What if we get lost?’ said Alistair.
    â€˜We won’t,’ said Colin.
    â€˜It could take them days to find us,’ said Alistair. ‘We could starve. If we don’t die from the pollution.’
    â€˜You don’t have to come,’ said Colin, crossing the road towards the park.
    â€˜I’ll come,’ said Alistair.
    The park was black. They walked next to the railings for a long time.
    â€˜What if she wakes up and sees you sitting there and gets such a fright she wets the bed?’ said Alistair suddenly. ‘Do you know how many years in jail you’d get for making the Queen wet the bed?’
    Colin sighed.
    â€˜I’m not gunna break into her bedroom, Dumbo,’ he said. ‘I’ll wait in one of the toilets. When she’s got up and had her breakfast I’ll pop in the dining-room and have a word with her then.’
    They turned a corner and there was the Palace.
    Instead of the roaring traffic and milling tourists of three days ago, the huge space in front of the Palace was silent and empty.
    Except for two policemen standing by the gate.
    Alistair gave a little whimper.
    Colin grabbed him and moved him along the railings, keeping out of the light from the streetlamps.
    The policemen didn’t look over.
    Colin steered Alistair round a bend and there in front of them, stretching away as far as Colin could see, was the back wall of the Palace.
    They crossed the road and stood at the base of the wall. It was three times as high as Colin and on the top were sharp black metal spikes.
    â€˜Don’t let those spikes touch you,’ said Alistair, trembling.
    â€˜I’ve got four jumpers on,’ said Colin, lifting .the top two and unwinding the rope from round his middle.
    He tied a lasso knot in one end and while he was doing it, he suddenly remembered all the lasso knots he’d tied with Doug Beale those afternoons they’d spent lassoing Doug’s younger sister Gaylene.
    He looked up and down the road.
    No cars.
    No people.
    He threw the lasso high up the wall. It hit a spike, slipped off and tumbled down.
    â€˜Hurry up,’ hissed Alistair, trembling even more. ‘Pretend it’s one of those crocodiles you’re always roping.’
    Colin threw the lasso again and missed again. He wished he’d had more practice with Gaylene.
    He threw again.
    The lasso flopped over a spike.
    And stayed there.
    Colin yanked it tight and hauled on the rope.
    â€˜OK,’ he said to Alistair, ‘give me a leg up.’
    Alistair obviously hadn’t given anybody a leg up before. It took him a while to grasp the concept. Then he started pushing Colin up the wall.
    Colin could feel him trembling.
    â€˜Oh my God,’ said Alistair.
    Here we go, thought Colin, this is where he panics and we’re history.
    â€˜Oh my God,’ said Alistair again.
    Colin glanced down at him, expecting to see a face white with panic. Instead he saw a face beaming with excitement.
    â€˜We’re breaking into Buckingham Palace,’ squeaked Alistair. ‘Brilliant.’
    He gave Colin an extra big heave and Colin started to climb upwards, hand over hand on the rope, soles of his feet flat against the wall.
    â€˜Sodding brill,’ piped up Alistair from below.
    Colin didn’t feel brill.
    Fears started ballooning up inside him.
    What if after the bloke had broken into her bedroom they’d got dogs?
    Or mines?
    Or a moat with sharks?
    Or run electricity through the spikes?
    The rope was cutting his hands and his back was nearly breaking. But he didn’t stop. Because stronger than all the fear was the vision of him getting off the plane in Sydney with the world’s best doctor, and the look on Mum and Dad’s faces.
    He climbed on, practising in his mind