looking at her. She sighed heavily, giving
me a smile as I turned to her, tears still rimming my lashes. She nodded her
head, shoving a forkful of salad, dripping with ranch dressing, into her mouth.
She waited for me to finish picking through what I wanted to attempt to eat,
following me out into the cold yard to join the men and Rosa by the cozy fire.
Chad had on the knit hat I had bought him, pushing his long hair down around
his ears and his eyes met mine, his mouth going into a wide smile that I
couldn't help but reciprocate.
Sitting in the
Adirondack chair next to him, I accept the blanket he puts over my lap, curling
my legs up underneath themselves to try and keep them warm. "You
okay," he whispered in my ear, his lips lightly kissing my temple and I
nod, stealing a tiny kiss on the lips as he retreated back into his chair.
"Did everyone meet
my best friend Kendall," I ask to the group, breaking their chatter and
they all answer 'yes', Timmons being overly enthusiastic and I see Kendall roll
her eyes but smile at the cute boy. He was younger than us, but Kendall needed
a good man. Her off again-on again boyfriend, local boy Jarrod Rawlings, ran in
Duke's group and he was a typical womanizer. What Kendall never realized was
that Harlan Dow, the one who had saved me countless times from Duke's drunk
rages, was hopelessly in love with her. There were many times that I felt like
telling her, but I just didn't know how she would react, so I left it alone.
Chad's SEAL Team leader,
Austin French, pulled his wicker lawn chair over next to my right hand side as
I munched away on the salad that Rosa had made, washing it down with some more
wine that she had handed me. "Randy was a good boy, and a good
solider," he said to me, drawing a pattern in the dirt between his cowboy
boots with a long thin twig. I nodded at him, meeting his brown eyes for the first
time. He was probably thirty-three or four, his dark, buzzed hair tipped with
grey. His eyes bore small wrinkles on the sides, baring witness to the things
he had probably seen. His hands were big and rough looking, his Carhart jacket
being old and worn at the sleeves. His jeans were faded and ripped above the
knee, but I could tell this man took care of himself. I also noticed that he
chewed like Chad, the familiar bulge in his bottom lip and the empty Pepsi can
always at his side. His Black Lab, Nan, bounded around after Daisy, both dogs
having a hay day in the open land.
"He was a great
brother," I say to him, giving him a sweet smile that he returns nodding
his head as he continues to draw on the ground with the stick. "Were you
Team Leader when he was killed," I asked and then immediately regretted it
as silence fell around me, all of the faces turning to look at Fred and I.
"Oh, um, I'm sorry," I stutter, trying to cover my tracks, Fred
throwing his hand up to silence me and it brings tears to my eyes.
"Yes, ma'am, I was
Team Leader then, as I am now," he said sternly, his eyes never meeting my
face, his jaw set.
"I didn't mean to
say anything wrong," I say, resting my hand lightly on his arm. He nodded
his head, but I could feel all of the faces still on me. My skin flushed, my
emotions running crazy bringing both angry and sad tears to my eyes. Standing
up abruptly, I tossed the blanket from my legs, throwing my un-eaten food into
the fire I wrapped my jacket around me, brushing Chad's hand off as he tried to
grab at my arm, heading towards the lonely road, away from the cabin. "Let
her go," I heard Kendall yell, but it was already off in the distance, the
tree line and the looming darkness blocking my view of the bonfire.
I could barely see the road
as I stumbled down it, branches and stones almost tripping me as tears streamed
down my face. It was silly the rage I was feeling from all of their eyes on me,
my hands clenching at my sides as I turned into the woods by a huge blue spruce
tree trunk. The rage stemmed from my anger over Randy's death as well and
Nina Revoyr
Nora Ephron
Jaxson Kidman
Edward D. Hoch
Katherine Garbera
Stuart M. Kaminsky
Chris Ryan
T. Lynne Tolles
Matt Witten
Alex Marwood