Read Online Trying the Knot by Todd Erickson - Free Book Online

the
tree-hugger in Polo,” Chelsea said, referring to Kerouac.
    “Just admit it, you’re totally hot for him,”
Ben said.
    “She wouldn’t fuck him – even with your
dick,” Thad said bluntly.
    Ben laughed and self-consciously stabbed his
fork into the little red horse sewn on his black Polo shirt. It was
one he had borrowed from Kate’s brother Jack.
    While discussing their previous wild night of
cow tipping, the Frat pack removed their jackets and rearranged
tables to accommodate their party of six. One of the more
courageous Derry girls bravely took charge. “Really, yous guys
should have made reservations for such a big bunch,” she said,
flashing them a flirtatious bucktooth grin. She informed their set
up would make it awkward for her to do her job. Their only option
besides leaving was to retire to the back formal dining room, which
was a gloomy hole-in-the-wall drenched in an orange glow.
    The Patagonia fleece-clad leader apologized
suavely while the Derry clan returned the place to its previous
incarnation. Then they all retreated to the backroom, where they
had the option to dine next to more exotic road-kill and wildlife
oil paintings hung on an old saw blade canvas.
    “Circle Jerk!” they yelled in unison as they
entered the backroom.
    The shortest of the Frat pack noticed Chelsea
and waved. Less than cheerfully, she returned the gesture. Through
her teeth, she said, “There’s T-bone. Last night, at the bar he
offered to show me how he got his nickname.”
    T-bone’s stocky build and goatee made him
look like a scruffy, pint-sized chimpanzee, and Thad observed, “I
guess every Frat needs a mascot to stand around marking people’s
hands while pumping the keg.”
    Chelsea snickered, “Nice goatee.”
    “Prison pussy,” Ben corrected.
    She rolled her eyes and shook her head,
“You’re so gross.”
    The Frat brothers emitted a long simultaneous
groan of discontent when they discovered they were in a dry joint,
and chocolate malts were the most potent drink on the menu.
    “This northern wilderness must bring out
their inner beast,” Thad said, stooped over.
    “What were you saying earlier, Thaddeus,
before the cow-tippers interrupted?” Chelsea asked. “It could shed
light on this whole mess, and I think I know what it might be—
    “No, you don’t. Trust me,” Ben interrupted.
“Drop it, Thad.”
    “Excuse me, Benny, but maybe I do,” Chelsea
said annoyed. “I think something might have happened between
Evangelica and Nicholas last night.”
    Thad sat upright and asked, “What gives you
that idea?”
    “For one thing, the atmosphere in the bar
suggested total debauchery. All Nick’s friends were hitting on hick
chicks with big hair and tight jeans. And, Benjamin, don’t even try
to deny taking home Kate’s matron of honor. I saw you leave
together.”
    “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ben asked. Feigning disinterest, he pulled a long strand of hair
from his head and began flossing his teeth.
    “Nick and Vange were hanging all over each
other.” Chelsea digressed, “Vange left the gathering at my house
pretty early. I don’t think she got along well with Kate’s college
friends.”
    “Why’s that?”
    Chelsea nervously toyed with the beads on her
necklace, and she said, “It was as if we were back in high school,
except nothing out of line was said.”
    “And no one beat her up,” Thad added.
    “Kate’s friends are mostly education majors.
I guess Vange didn’t appreciate their quasi-virginal
snobbishness.”
    “I bet you got along with them just fine,”
interjected Ben, and he found himself in a cloud of cigarette
smoke. Thad kicked him under the table and encouraged Chelsea to
continue.
    “After Kate finally turned in, I escorted the
bridesmaids to the bar, where Nick was parading Evangelica around
on his arm. It was obvious something was up.”
    “I can’t believe you,” Ben said, louder than
intended. “You’re too much. It is not like