trouble picturing you begging for anything. And certainly not on your knees. Besides,” I added, more soberly, “I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to.”
He stared down at me in wonder. “So what do we do now?” He asked quietly. “I hate the thought that I’m pushing you too hard, that I’m scaring you. You say that you want the same things I do, but I don’t think that you understand what all that entails.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he held a finger to my lips, stopping me short. “I hadn’t really wanted to have this conversation; I never thought that things would get this far. But we need to talk about what we’re doing, about what I’m pulling you into.”
“You’re not pulling me into -” I began, but his hand covered my mouth.
“Let me speak, please.” He worded it as a request, but his tone was authoritative. My nipples pebbled in response to him silencing me, and I was grateful that the blanket covered my lustful reaction to his treatment.
I nodded, letting him know that I would let him say what he needed to. He removed his hand, but his fingertips lingered on my lips, tracing them lightly before pulling away. I resisted the strong urge to draw one on them into my mouth and suck on it.
He took a deep breath. “Do you know what BDSM is, Claudia?” He asked finally.
“Um, sort of,” I confessed. I knew that it meant kinky, like tying up your partner, spanking them. The thought of Sean doing that to me made my clit pulse.
“The meaning of BDSM is threefold,” he said, his tone turning lecturing. “Bondage and Discipline; Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.” His eyes searched mine briefly, looking for signs of fear. But all I felt was rapt curiosity. “The first two aspects very much define my interests. The last one not so much. I don’t want to harm you, Claudia. I want you to know that.” There were lines of anxiety around his eyes.
“I know,” I breathed. Even though he had put me through the wringer emotionally, I knew that Sean would always protect me from harm. He had proven that time and again.
He gave me a short nod, satisfied. “I am a Dominant, or a Dom. You are a natural submissive, or sub.”
I couldn’t hold back a frown. “I don’t know if I like the sound of that,” I admitted.
He reached out and cupped my face. “Just because you are sexually submissive doesn’t mean that you are outside of the bedroom. I love your fiery spirit; I’ve never been a fan of doormats. But I see the constant strain that you inflict upon yourself, your determination to remain strong no matter how much you’re hurting. Submission can free you from that.”
I quivered inwardly, disconcerted that he had seen past my façade in a way that no one had before. It seemed that despite the short time that we had been together, he knew me better than anyone. He hadn’t allowed me to hold back around him, had chipped away at my walls. And I knew that he recognized my internal anguish as a reflection of his own. Despite coming from different worlds, we were more alike than I had ever realized.
He ran his fingers through my hair, and I couldn’t help leaning into his touch. “You know that I respect you, Claudia,” he said seriously. “And your instinctive reaction to my dominance of your body doesn’t change that. I want you. All of you. It scares me how badly I crave to take you in every way imaginable. I’m afraid that I’ll push you too far and scare you away.”
“You do scare me sometimes,” I admitted quietly. “But I’m more afraid of what my desire for you means about myself. I’m not afraid that you’ll hurt me.”
Not physically, anyway.
He smiled at me gently. “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that. But just in case, you should have safe words so that if you ever get too uncomfortable, we can stop what we’re doing immediately.”
I liked the sound of that. The idea was comforting. “Okay,” I breathed.
“I
He stared down at me in wonder. “So what do we do now?” He asked quietly. “I hate the thought that I’m pushing you too hard, that I’m scaring you. You say that you want the same things I do, but I don’t think that you understand what all that entails.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he held a finger to my lips, stopping me short. “I hadn’t really wanted to have this conversation; I never thought that things would get this far. But we need to talk about what we’re doing, about what I’m pulling you into.”
“You’re not pulling me into -” I began, but his hand covered my mouth.
“Let me speak, please.” He worded it as a request, but his tone was authoritative. My nipples pebbled in response to him silencing me, and I was grateful that the blanket covered my lustful reaction to his treatment.
I nodded, letting him know that I would let him say what he needed to. He removed his hand, but his fingertips lingered on my lips, tracing them lightly before pulling away. I resisted the strong urge to draw one on them into my mouth and suck on it.
He took a deep breath. “Do you know what BDSM is, Claudia?” He asked finally.
“Um, sort of,” I confessed. I knew that it meant kinky, like tying up your partner, spanking them. The thought of Sean doing that to me made my clit pulse.
“The meaning of BDSM is threefold,” he said, his tone turning lecturing. “Bondage and Discipline; Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.” His eyes searched mine briefly, looking for signs of fear. But all I felt was rapt curiosity. “The first two aspects very much define my interests. The last one not so much. I don’t want to harm you, Claudia. I want you to know that.” There were lines of anxiety around his eyes.
“I know,” I breathed. Even though he had put me through the wringer emotionally, I knew that Sean would always protect me from harm. He had proven that time and again.
He gave me a short nod, satisfied. “I am a Dominant, or a Dom. You are a natural submissive, or sub.”
I couldn’t hold back a frown. “I don’t know if I like the sound of that,” I admitted.
He reached out and cupped my face. “Just because you are sexually submissive doesn’t mean that you are outside of the bedroom. I love your fiery spirit; I’ve never been a fan of doormats. But I see the constant strain that you inflict upon yourself, your determination to remain strong no matter how much you’re hurting. Submission can free you from that.”
I quivered inwardly, disconcerted that he had seen past my façade in a way that no one had before. It seemed that despite the short time that we had been together, he knew me better than anyone. He hadn’t allowed me to hold back around him, had chipped away at my walls. And I knew that he recognized my internal anguish as a reflection of his own. Despite coming from different worlds, we were more alike than I had ever realized.
He ran his fingers through my hair, and I couldn’t help leaning into his touch. “You know that I respect you, Claudia,” he said seriously. “And your instinctive reaction to my dominance of your body doesn’t change that. I want you. All of you. It scares me how badly I crave to take you in every way imaginable. I’m afraid that I’ll push you too far and scare you away.”
“You do scare me sometimes,” I admitted quietly. “But I’m more afraid of what my desire for you means about myself. I’m not afraid that you’ll hurt me.”
Not physically, anyway.
He smiled at me gently. “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that. But just in case, you should have safe words so that if you ever get too uncomfortable, we can stop what we’re doing immediately.”
I liked the sound of that. The idea was comforting. “Okay,” I breathed.
“I
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