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Authors: A Slender Thread
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felt when I was a little girl. Do you remember when we still shared the same room, the one I have now?”
Ashley nodded and Brook continued. “We were four years old the last time Rachelle came home to see us. I remember we were asleep in our room and Rachelle started arguing with Grammy andit woke me up. You were still asleep, but I went to the door and opened it up just enough to hear their words. Rachelle was telling Grammy how we were a burden, how she didn’t want to be bothered with motherhood and all its problems. That if Grammy didn’t want us, she’d put us up for adoption. Grammy told her she couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying, but Rachelle assured her that she did.
“Then she said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. She told Grammy that if she could have found a way to rid herself of us before we were born, she would never have had a single one of us.”
“I remember,” Ashley said, her brow knitting together. “I only pretended to be asleep. Once you opened the door, I heard everything.”
Brook looked at her strangely. “You didn’t tell me you were awake.”
“It hurt too much. I almost felt like if we didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t true. I kept thinking I’d misunderstood her. That I didn’t know what all the words meant.”
“I know. I remember now that the word ‘abortion’ was mentioned, but at four years old, I had no idea what that meant. But when I got older I knew, and I remembered.” Brook bit at her lower lip. “It hurt knowing she hated me enough to wish me dead. And I just can’t deal with that kind of pain again. I keep imagining giving my heart to someone only to have the love die and hear him say to me that if he could only have found a way to avoid ever having known me, he would have.”
“Better to not love anyone than to have someone come to hate you, is that it?” Ashley asked.
“I guess so.”
“But you know that isn’t valid, Brook. You’re missing more this way, and Rachelle’s hatred is the reason. Don’t give her that kind of power in your life. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“I know you’re right,” Brook agreed. “Of all the ways we are alike, I wish being able to trust my heart was one of them.”
“It didn’t come easy. I guess I kept thinking of Grammy and howif she could love me, somebody else could love me too. Then when things didn’t work out with Harry, I knew it was mostly because I didn’t want them to work out. I didn’t want to stay here in Kansas. I didn’t want to be a farmer’s wife. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be someone’s wife. I think you have to look at this aside from Rachelle. Grammy and I love you, and so do the others. I know we’re family and should love each other, but Rachelle should have loved us too. That just shows that the love you have from me and the others is genuine. We could have chosen to hate, just as Rachelle did.”
“I suppose I never thought of it that way. Grammy could have just as easily said no to adopting us. She could have refused to love us because of how Rachelle acted.”
Ashley nodded. The first stars of the evening were just appearing against the darkening sky. She couldn’t help but remember their childhood wishes placed upon the first star of the evening. I wish true love for Brook , she thought silently as her gaze fixed on that first star. I wish love and happiness and contentment for her.
Ashley lowered her gaze and met Brook’s brooding expression. “I found the wishing star,” she said, reaching out to take hold of her sister’s hand. “And I wished for you to find true love.”
Brook grinned. “You aren’t supposed to tell your wish to anyone else.”
“But you aren’t just anyone else; you’re a part of me.”
Brook nodded and squeezed her sister’s hand. “Then that wish is for us both.”
----
“Supper is nearly ready,” Mattie said, turning to observe Deirdre shredding a carrot stick into a beautifully prepared
Ashley nodded and Brook continued. “We were four years old the last time Rachelle came home to see us. I remember we were asleep in our room and Rachelle started arguing with Grammy andit woke me up. You were still asleep, but I went to the door and opened it up just enough to hear their words. Rachelle was telling Grammy how we were a burden, how she didn’t want to be bothered with motherhood and all its problems. That if Grammy didn’t want us, she’d put us up for adoption. Grammy told her she couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying, but Rachelle assured her that she did.
“Then she said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. She told Grammy that if she could have found a way to rid herself of us before we were born, she would never have had a single one of us.”
“I remember,” Ashley said, her brow knitting together. “I only pretended to be asleep. Once you opened the door, I heard everything.”
Brook looked at her strangely. “You didn’t tell me you were awake.”
“It hurt too much. I almost felt like if we didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t true. I kept thinking I’d misunderstood her. That I didn’t know what all the words meant.”
“I know. I remember now that the word ‘abortion’ was mentioned, but at four years old, I had no idea what that meant. But when I got older I knew, and I remembered.” Brook bit at her lower lip. “It hurt knowing she hated me enough to wish me dead. And I just can’t deal with that kind of pain again. I keep imagining giving my heart to someone only to have the love die and hear him say to me that if he could only have found a way to avoid ever having known me, he would have.”
“Better to not love anyone than to have someone come to hate you, is that it?” Ashley asked.
“I guess so.”
“But you know that isn’t valid, Brook. You’re missing more this way, and Rachelle’s hatred is the reason. Don’t give her that kind of power in your life. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“I know you’re right,” Brook agreed. “Of all the ways we are alike, I wish being able to trust my heart was one of them.”
“It didn’t come easy. I guess I kept thinking of Grammy and howif she could love me, somebody else could love me too. Then when things didn’t work out with Harry, I knew it was mostly because I didn’t want them to work out. I didn’t want to stay here in Kansas. I didn’t want to be a farmer’s wife. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be someone’s wife. I think you have to look at this aside from Rachelle. Grammy and I love you, and so do the others. I know we’re family and should love each other, but Rachelle should have loved us too. That just shows that the love you have from me and the others is genuine. We could have chosen to hate, just as Rachelle did.”
“I suppose I never thought of it that way. Grammy could have just as easily said no to adopting us. She could have refused to love us because of how Rachelle acted.”
Ashley nodded. The first stars of the evening were just appearing against the darkening sky. She couldn’t help but remember their childhood wishes placed upon the first star of the evening. I wish true love for Brook , she thought silently as her gaze fixed on that first star. I wish love and happiness and contentment for her.
Ashley lowered her gaze and met Brook’s brooding expression. “I found the wishing star,” she said, reaching out to take hold of her sister’s hand. “And I wished for you to find true love.”
Brook grinned. “You aren’t supposed to tell your wish to anyone else.”
“But you aren’t just anyone else; you’re a part of me.”
Brook nodded and squeezed her sister’s hand. “Then that wish is for us both.”
----
“Supper is nearly ready,” Mattie said, turning to observe Deirdre shredding a carrot stick into a beautifully prepared
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