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something to Rachelle. I feel so stupid. I guess just thinking about it causes me to feel discontent and . . . and almost fearful for my future.”
“Do you have a reason to fear?”
“No. Not really.” Ashley sighed. “I know this sounds so silly, but I guess it’s almost a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Brook nodded. “Yes. That’s it exactly.”
“You know what I’m talking about?”
Brook turned ever so slightly and raised her head. “We’ve known the good of life, and we’re afraid someone or something might come along and take it from us. Harry has never stepped outside of his area of comfort to risk everything for something new. But we have. We know what it is to start from scratch, and now that we’ve built ourselves a comfortable life, we fear that we could just as easily lose it.”
“But I can understand you feeling that way,” Ashley said, hoping Brook wouldn’t take offense. “Your career hinges on public opinion and approval. You do have some uncomfortable decisions to make because of what you do for a living. But I shouldn’t feel this way. I have stability. A family. A home. I even love my church, although I’m sure Grammy would say I’m more of a pew-warmer Christian than an everyday one.”
Brook laughed. “Grammy is so dear. But I worry about her.”
Ashley nodded. “So do I. I mean, look at all of this. She’s taken such loving care of the grounds. I know Harry mows the larger portions, but Grammy is the one who plants and tends it. I remember when we were little girls and she taught us to plant a vegetable garden.”
Smiling, Brook added to the memory. “She made us put stakes in the ground at each end of the garden and then she’d tie a string to each stake and that way she could keep straight rows.”
“She said life was the same way. We needed to focus on the stakes God puts out for us and make our rows straight in accordance.”
Brook nodded. “ ‘Christians have a tough row to hoe,’ she’d tell us. I had imagined that when we grew up we’d have to be hoeing all the time. Either when we tended a garden or when we shared our faith.”
Ashley laughed. “Remember how we’d drag the corner of that hoe along the dirt, just under the string? We were so meticulous inour labor. We watched that string every step of the way in order to make sure our furrows were straighter than anyone else’s.”
“I do remember,” Brook said, and her voice had that faraway sound that matched Ashley’s thoughts.
“Grammy always had us planting, weeding, or picking one thing or another. I used to hate it, but now I’m glad for the training we had. Sometimes her stories and examples are so clear in my life,” Ashley admitted. “Still, I think she’d be disappointed in me if she had to spend much time in my world.”
“Me too,” Brook replied. “My world has very little in common with Grammy’s teachings. People are harsh and ruthless. They care very little for each other. Everything has its price—yet nothing seems to matter much.”
“What about love, Brook? Haven’t you managed to meet anyone who strikes your fancy?” Ashley watched as Brook turned to gaze back out over the water.
“My fancy has very little to do with it. I’ve met some really nice men in the past years. But just when things start to progress beyond the place where we introduce ourselves and share a few dates, well, I get too uptight. I try not to let the past influence me, but I can’t seem to shake it.”
“Because of Rachelle?”
Brook nodded. “I’m so hesitant—so afraid to get close to anyone. It’s just hard for me to trust.”
“But you don’t want to go through life alone, do you?”
“Not particularly, but neither do I want to be hurt.”
“Life hurts. That’s just the way it is.”
“But it shouldn’t have to hurt that much,” Brook said softly. “Every time I start to think about someone—seriously think about them—I remember the pain I
“Do you have a reason to fear?”
“No. Not really.” Ashley sighed. “I know this sounds so silly, but I guess it’s almost a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Brook nodded. “Yes. That’s it exactly.”
“You know what I’m talking about?”
Brook turned ever so slightly and raised her head. “We’ve known the good of life, and we’re afraid someone or something might come along and take it from us. Harry has never stepped outside of his area of comfort to risk everything for something new. But we have. We know what it is to start from scratch, and now that we’ve built ourselves a comfortable life, we fear that we could just as easily lose it.”
“But I can understand you feeling that way,” Ashley said, hoping Brook wouldn’t take offense. “Your career hinges on public opinion and approval. You do have some uncomfortable decisions to make because of what you do for a living. But I shouldn’t feel this way. I have stability. A family. A home. I even love my church, although I’m sure Grammy would say I’m more of a pew-warmer Christian than an everyday one.”
Brook laughed. “Grammy is so dear. But I worry about her.”
Ashley nodded. “So do I. I mean, look at all of this. She’s taken such loving care of the grounds. I know Harry mows the larger portions, but Grammy is the one who plants and tends it. I remember when we were little girls and she taught us to plant a vegetable garden.”
Smiling, Brook added to the memory. “She made us put stakes in the ground at each end of the garden and then she’d tie a string to each stake and that way she could keep straight rows.”
“She said life was the same way. We needed to focus on the stakes God puts out for us and make our rows straight in accordance.”
Brook nodded. “ ‘Christians have a tough row to hoe,’ she’d tell us. I had imagined that when we grew up we’d have to be hoeing all the time. Either when we tended a garden or when we shared our faith.”
Ashley laughed. “Remember how we’d drag the corner of that hoe along the dirt, just under the string? We were so meticulous inour labor. We watched that string every step of the way in order to make sure our furrows were straighter than anyone else’s.”
“I do remember,” Brook said, and her voice had that faraway sound that matched Ashley’s thoughts.
“Grammy always had us planting, weeding, or picking one thing or another. I used to hate it, but now I’m glad for the training we had. Sometimes her stories and examples are so clear in my life,” Ashley admitted. “Still, I think she’d be disappointed in me if she had to spend much time in my world.”
“Me too,” Brook replied. “My world has very little in common with Grammy’s teachings. People are harsh and ruthless. They care very little for each other. Everything has its price—yet nothing seems to matter much.”
“What about love, Brook? Haven’t you managed to meet anyone who strikes your fancy?” Ashley watched as Brook turned to gaze back out over the water.
“My fancy has very little to do with it. I’ve met some really nice men in the past years. But just when things start to progress beyond the place where we introduce ourselves and share a few dates, well, I get too uptight. I try not to let the past influence me, but I can’t seem to shake it.”
“Because of Rachelle?”
Brook nodded. “I’m so hesitant—so afraid to get close to anyone. It’s just hard for me to trust.”
“But you don’t want to go through life alone, do you?”
“Not particularly, but neither do I want to be hurt.”
“Life hurts. That’s just the way it is.”
“But it shouldn’t have to hurt that much,” Brook said softly. “Every time I start to think about someone—seriously think about them—I remember the pain I
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