Read Online 'Til Death by Dante Tori - Free Book Online

his neck, which was of a pair of lips: my lips. I remembered that day; it was our three-year anniversary, before everything had gone straight to hell. I didn’t talk to Culprit anymore. I didn’t talk to him, or about him. That was one door that I was destined to keep closed. My other relationships would never compare to what we had. Yea, I had serious relationships after him, but none of them made me feel complete the way Culprit had. I didn’t know why. I felt as though I was waiting on something, but the sad thing was, I didn’t know exactly what I was waiting on. Culprit broke my spirit. Sometimes, if I thought about it too hard, I would still cry. I chose him over my child, just simply because he asked me to. I was just like my mother; a mother that I couldn’t stand to look at. At a young age, one of her male friends had touched me inappropriately, and she blamed me. I was fourteen; she put me out, and I had to stay with my Aunt. And when I was only fifteen, my Aunt thought I should pay rent, so I had to get a job, along with going to school. By the time I was sixteen, I had enough money, and Ciara and I got our own place. At the time, Ciara was just nickel and diming, before she got heavy into the dope game. I made a promise to myself that I would never choose anybody over my child, but I did. I haven’t heard from my mother, and I still gave my Aunt a little money, but I’d always been on my own since then.
                  I never told Ciara or Tosh about what was behind the disagreement between me and my mother. I didn’t tell them about my abortion either. I don’t know why I didn’t; it was just one of those things I felt I should keep to myself.
                  I looked in my rearview mirror again, and Culprit and I made eye contact. He didn’t look away, so I broke the contact. I felt chills running through my body just thinking about the things he could with those lips. I took a deep breath, and I felt Tosh look at me. They didn’t know. Nobody knew. I pulled up in front of Culprit's house and parked. I didn’t look at him or the house.
                  "All right, thank you, and y’all get home safely."
                  "All right, Culprit, we’ll catch you later," Tosh said. I didn’t say anything. As soon as I heard my car door close, I sped off. A long moment passed before Tosh said anything.
                  "You’re a bitch," Tosh said while shaking her head.
                  "Your point?" I probed.
                  "You don’t have to treat Culprit like that."
                  "Tosh, you don’t know shit."
                  "And if I don’t, that’s your fault. You don’t tell anybody anything. Plus, I thought you stopped cussing."
                  "I’m trying to, but you’re getting on my nerves."
    I made my way down Jefferson to drop Tosh off at her apartment. I pulled into the parking garage because I was too tired to drive home. For some reason, I felt emotionally drained. I followed Tosh into her apartment building and we rode the elevator in silence. I knew this conversation wasn’t over. She just wanted to get more comfortable for a long-ass talk. We walked into her big-ass apartment, and we immediately took off our heels. Tosh walked around in her panties and bra; she didn’t care if I was there or not. I changed into the same pajamas that I had left at her house earlier that day. Tosh poured us both a glass of wine. I hated wine, or any kind of liquor, but lately I'd been needing a drink.
                  "So, Culprit looked sexy tonight didn’t he?" Tosh said, smiling. I just stared at her.
                  "I mean, y’all haven’t talked in five years. We’re all twenty-seven; I’m sure whatever feelings you had are over. Why let a good man go to waste? Send him my way," Tosh kidded.
                  "Tosh, do you really