thought I was addicted at one point. I got inked after every win, like some sort of celebratory souvenir for kicking someone’s ass. They don’t mean much – I just went for whatever design I wanted out of the artist’s portfolio. Except this one…”
He shrugged so I lifted my head off his chest, and he pointed to the word trust inked on his ribs.
“Why trust?”
“It’s a reminder…to never trust anyone. When you do, you open yourself up to pain, and I can't handle any more pain, Skye.”
He pulled my head back down and I continued my exploration of the meaningless black markings on his body.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, hopeful of the answer. We were in this together.
“No.”
I huffed and deflated. That wasn’t the answer I expected, or wanted.
“Why?”
“I don’t trust us together. I don’t trust us not to self-destruct and take the other one down.”
“You mean you don’t trust yourself with me…”
“No. I said I don’t trust us together. You have just as much power to ruin me as I do to ruin you.”
We were silent for a long time as Curtis let his words sink in and I tried desperately to process them, to add them to everything I’d found out in the last forty-eight hours.
“We have to trust each other. If we don’t, we’ve already lost.”
My voice was lost to the sound of Curtis’ even breathing as he descended into sleep.
Eight
“Once upon a time, there was a prince named Curtis. He was a handsome prince, with a big heart, a sparkly smile and he could kick a football further than all the other princes in the land. He had a mummy who loved him to the moon and back, and he had a daddy who worked hard to save people. He taught Curtis how to treat the special princess who would capture his heart and love him as much as his mummy did…”
Mummy told me the story and sat on the edge of my bed to stroke my hair. Daddy had been called to work. Someone was in danger and it was Daddy’s job to make them safe again. Auntie Lois and Uncle Phil were downstairs watching TV and waiting for Daddy to come home to have dinner with them.
We had a good day at the park today. We had sandwiches and juice and Uncle Phil played football with me when Daddy took a rest. Uncle Phil didn’t like me. He never wanted to play with me so I smiled a big smile when he picked up the football, told me to stand in goal and catch the ball. He called me Oliver…he said, “Good kick, Oliver!” when I kicked the ball and it went through his legs. But I wasn’t Oliver. I think he only liked me when he thought I was. But then the game ended. Uncle Phil took his keys from his pocket and told everyone he had to go to work. He crouched down and told me I was a bad boy and he wasn’t going to play with me anymore. I cried, but Auntie Lois saved me. She gave me a cuddle and promised to take me swimming tomorrow.
Auntie Lois was standing at the door when Mummy gave me a kiss goodnight and told me she loved me to the moon and back. Auntie Lois blew me a kiss when Mummy got up to leave and she turned the light off so the twinkly stars on my ceiling lit up.
I loved Auntie Lois. I loved my Mummy. I loved my Daddy and I loved Uncle Phil, even if he didn’t love me back.
“You failed Curtis. You’re a bad boy. Even in your dreams, you can’t do anything right.” The voice of Uncle Phil broke into my dream and I fought and fought to get out…
~Curtis~
“We need to go and eat.”
I stepped back into the bedroom after the shower Curtis had sent me to take. He handed me the clothes I wore yesterday that he’d washed and dried before he climbed in bed with me last night.
“I’m not hungry.”
I wasn’t. I hadn’t eaten anything substantial since Beth’s wedding dinner, but I didn’t want anything. I was nauseous; I felt sick with worry that my life was going to fall to shit all over again.
“I haven’t fed you, Skye. We need to go and eat.”
Curtis opened his wardrobe and rummaged
He shrugged so I lifted my head off his chest, and he pointed to the word trust inked on his ribs.
“Why trust?”
“It’s a reminder…to never trust anyone. When you do, you open yourself up to pain, and I can't handle any more pain, Skye.”
He pulled my head back down and I continued my exploration of the meaningless black markings on his body.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, hopeful of the answer. We were in this together.
“No.”
I huffed and deflated. That wasn’t the answer I expected, or wanted.
“Why?”
“I don’t trust us together. I don’t trust us not to self-destruct and take the other one down.”
“You mean you don’t trust yourself with me…”
“No. I said I don’t trust us together. You have just as much power to ruin me as I do to ruin you.”
We were silent for a long time as Curtis let his words sink in and I tried desperately to process them, to add them to everything I’d found out in the last forty-eight hours.
“We have to trust each other. If we don’t, we’ve already lost.”
My voice was lost to the sound of Curtis’ even breathing as he descended into sleep.
Eight
“Once upon a time, there was a prince named Curtis. He was a handsome prince, with a big heart, a sparkly smile and he could kick a football further than all the other princes in the land. He had a mummy who loved him to the moon and back, and he had a daddy who worked hard to save people. He taught Curtis how to treat the special princess who would capture his heart and love him as much as his mummy did…”
Mummy told me the story and sat on the edge of my bed to stroke my hair. Daddy had been called to work. Someone was in danger and it was Daddy’s job to make them safe again. Auntie Lois and Uncle Phil were downstairs watching TV and waiting for Daddy to come home to have dinner with them.
We had a good day at the park today. We had sandwiches and juice and Uncle Phil played football with me when Daddy took a rest. Uncle Phil didn’t like me. He never wanted to play with me so I smiled a big smile when he picked up the football, told me to stand in goal and catch the ball. He called me Oliver…he said, “Good kick, Oliver!” when I kicked the ball and it went through his legs. But I wasn’t Oliver. I think he only liked me when he thought I was. But then the game ended. Uncle Phil took his keys from his pocket and told everyone he had to go to work. He crouched down and told me I was a bad boy and he wasn’t going to play with me anymore. I cried, but Auntie Lois saved me. She gave me a cuddle and promised to take me swimming tomorrow.
Auntie Lois was standing at the door when Mummy gave me a kiss goodnight and told me she loved me to the moon and back. Auntie Lois blew me a kiss when Mummy got up to leave and she turned the light off so the twinkly stars on my ceiling lit up.
I loved Auntie Lois. I loved my Mummy. I loved my Daddy and I loved Uncle Phil, even if he didn’t love me back.
“You failed Curtis. You’re a bad boy. Even in your dreams, you can’t do anything right.” The voice of Uncle Phil broke into my dream and I fought and fought to get out…
~Curtis~
“We need to go and eat.”
I stepped back into the bedroom after the shower Curtis had sent me to take. He handed me the clothes I wore yesterday that he’d washed and dried before he climbed in bed with me last night.
“I’m not hungry.”
I wasn’t. I hadn’t eaten anything substantial since Beth’s wedding dinner, but I didn’t want anything. I was nauseous; I felt sick with worry that my life was going to fall to shit all over again.
“I haven’t fed you, Skye. We need to go and eat.”
Curtis opened his wardrobe and rummaged
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