Three Knots to Nowhere

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Authors: Ted E. Dubay
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starboard forward corner. At their bottom were the SCRAM breakers. When any one of the breakers opened, the associated control rods dropped into the reactor and stopped the fission process. Legend had it that SCRAM was an acronym for Safety Control Rod Axe Man. The original reactor supposedly had one control rod suspended by a rope. If the scientists wanted to stop the nuclear chain reaction, a person with an axe cut the rope, and the rod dropped into the reactor.
    Although the Clay ’s reactor safety system was much more sophisticated than that, it still used gravity, a constant of the universe.
    The forward port corner held a sample sink for sampling the steam generators and the reactor coolant system.
    We walked to the back of upper level machinery 2 and stopped. Stretching across the starboard half of the aft bulkhead was a workbench with a vice. There was an open watertight hatch in the middle of the bulkhead.
    Davis leaned on the workbench, pointed towards the compartment’s aft port corner, and mentioned it contained the engineering space’s most important item. Curious, I walked over and investigated.
    It was a “head,” containing a toilet, sink, and shower. Its light switch was on the outside of the room. On the inner bulkhead, there was a small latched door below the shower nozzle, about waist high. I twisted the latch and the door folded down, revealing a sink. The toilet was opposite the shower and sink.
    The intended purpose of the shower was de-contaminating radiologically contaminated individuals. The sink and shower water shut-off valve was outside the little space. The same was true for the head’s light switch. There was a metal loop instead of a doorknob and the door opened into the space.
    Davis explained how sailors sometimes closed the outer valve and opened the one for the shower. When someone went in, the prankster quietly inserted a wrench through the loop, trapping the man inside. Then the light was turned off, outer valve opened, and the poor sucker inside received a cold douching.
    Davis’s eyes were alight with mirth and he emitted a mischievous laugh as he said, “Guys aren’t allowed to get mad. It’s their fault for not checking the valve before going in.”
    I wandered back to the workbench and examined a voice tube. It was a simple but effective method for people to talk between different areas having high background noise. The voice tube was a dull brass vertical pipe, roughly two inches in diameter. At either end was a highly polished four-inch-long cone. The opening at the cone’s end was approximately three inches in diameter. One person signaled another, by tapping on his end of the voice tube and then positioned his ear at the opening. The person summoned placed his mouth very close to his end and answered. The voice tube I was examining extended into lower level machinery 2.
    Davis’s eyes twinkled as he pretended to pour something down the tube.
    I understood his intent. Because of having to get so close to the tube to speak, the person below was in a vulnerable position. The man in the upper level could dump water down the tube. If the man below wasn’t alert, he got a face full. Recognizing the cues that it was about to happen, such as the talker speaking softly or mumbling, could save someone the embarrassment of having his head washed. I learned the person in the upper level was not safe either. Ingenious sailors would rig an air hose to the bottom end and blow water up the tube. It was a bit trickier, but possible.
    I had heard that episodes like these were a common practice on submarines, but I’d never really believed it. As I observed the matter-of-fact way Davis related the tales and his apparent enjoyment, it appeared they were all true and then some. I was silently dumbfounded by the gleeful manner Davis dispensed the pranks and wondered if I would evolve into someone with a similar frame of mind. Maybe he was an

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