by then, or if he comes back into your life, or something changes…promise me you’ll tell me.”
“I promise.”This part, at least, is easy.Not only am I positive Silas is out of my life for good—like Jane said, even if I do see him again, he’ll be on his way to jail—but I also know, or at least feel very sure, I won’t take him back.If he even wants me.
We lie there for a moment, kind of cuddling, but I can tell Alex is a little guarded.I find his hand underneath the covers again and squeeze it, smiling up at him.He smiles back.
“Are you regretting anything?” I ask.
He shakes his head and, finally, relaxes again.“Like I said, it felt amazing.And I like you a lot.So there’s nothing to regret.”He kisses my forehead.“You want to know something weird, actually?I was just thinking about it: when I’m traveling, I hate being in bed.Like, I hate going to sleep, and as soon as I wake up, I get out the door as fast I can.The thought of staring at four walls, by myself for any longer than necessary, bums me out.It makes me feel restless.But with you, here…I don’t know.There’s honestly nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”
I snuggle into him.True, Alex isn’t like Silas in a lot of ways; Silas is more impulsive, spontaneous.Silas would make me orgasm until I literally couldn’t anymore.He’d make me see fireworks across my eyes.He was rugged, tan.Worldly, but not in a well-traveled sense.Worldly with a lot of hard knocks, like me.And I did more than really like him.I loved him.
He was also a liar.A thief.And he framed me, ready to let me take the fall while he pretended to be a shoulder to cry on.Then he left.
But Alex hasn’t left.He might be a little nerdier than Silas, and not so carnal.But it’s not as though the sex was bad, either.Really great, in fact.Definitely better than the guys before Silas—second place, maybe, but a close one.
He’s intelligent, eager to see the world.He’s here with me, filling the lonely void I’d almost grown accustomed to.He’s sweet, he’s respectful.He’s honest.
But you don’t love him , a voice in my head tells me.I counter with, But I could.
“Erin?”
“Yeah?”
“Your phone’s ringing downstairs.”
I sit up, making sense of his words just when I hear the ring.It’s probably Jane, trying to coordinate a bridesmaids fitting with Fiona and me.“Be right back,” I tell Alex, kissing his nose.
When I get up, though, I feel a head rush—not the normal kind from standing up too fast, or stumbling into the shower after a night of drinking.The room tilts and spins; my heart’s suddenly racing.I grab the edge of the bed, holding my chest, then my head.
“Erin?”Alex is beside me in milliseconds.“Erin, are you okay?”
“Yes,” I tell him, but I can barely breathe.I shake my head.
Alex reaches for me.When I turn to face him, the room spins again.No…this time, it’s me moving, falling as my knees buckle and my heartbeat climbs higher.I hear Alex shout my name again, and then I’m gone.
~~~
“I promise.”This part, at least, is easy.Not only am I positive Silas is out of my life for good—like Jane said, even if I do see him again, he’ll be on his way to jail—but I also know, or at least feel very sure, I won’t take him back.If he even wants me.
We lie there for a moment, kind of cuddling, but I can tell Alex is a little guarded.I find his hand underneath the covers again and squeeze it, smiling up at him.He smiles back.
“Are you regretting anything?” I ask.
He shakes his head and, finally, relaxes again.“Like I said, it felt amazing.And I like you a lot.So there’s nothing to regret.”He kisses my forehead.“You want to know something weird, actually?I was just thinking about it: when I’m traveling, I hate being in bed.Like, I hate going to sleep, and as soon as I wake up, I get out the door as fast I can.The thought of staring at four walls, by myself for any longer than necessary, bums me out.It makes me feel restless.But with you, here…I don’t know.There’s honestly nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”
I snuggle into him.True, Alex isn’t like Silas in a lot of ways; Silas is more impulsive, spontaneous.Silas would make me orgasm until I literally couldn’t anymore.He’d make me see fireworks across my eyes.He was rugged, tan.Worldly, but not in a well-traveled sense.Worldly with a lot of hard knocks, like me.And I did more than really like him.I loved him.
He was also a liar.A thief.And he framed me, ready to let me take the fall while he pretended to be a shoulder to cry on.Then he left.
But Alex hasn’t left.He might be a little nerdier than Silas, and not so carnal.But it’s not as though the sex was bad, either.Really great, in fact.Definitely better than the guys before Silas—second place, maybe, but a close one.
He’s intelligent, eager to see the world.He’s here with me, filling the lonely void I’d almost grown accustomed to.He’s sweet, he’s respectful.He’s honest.
But you don’t love him , a voice in my head tells me.I counter with, But I could.
“Erin?”
“Yeah?”
“Your phone’s ringing downstairs.”
I sit up, making sense of his words just when I hear the ring.It’s probably Jane, trying to coordinate a bridesmaids fitting with Fiona and me.“Be right back,” I tell Alex, kissing his nose.
When I get up, though, I feel a head rush—not the normal kind from standing up too fast, or stumbling into the shower after a night of drinking.The room tilts and spins; my heart’s suddenly racing.I grab the edge of the bed, holding my chest, then my head.
“Erin?”Alex is beside me in milliseconds.“Erin, are you okay?”
“Yes,” I tell him, but I can barely breathe.I shake my head.
Alex reaches for me.When I turn to face him, the room spins again.No…this time, it’s me moving, falling as my knees buckle and my heartbeat climbs higher.I hear Alex shout my name again, and then I’m gone.
~~~
Similar Books
