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for this realm. I am a fool, a trickster, little better than a common wizard, and I ask only that I be put to death so that I can no longer be a poison to this kingdom, and to the young minds which dwell herein, within the bosom of your mercy. That is all.’
    Fabrigas went to step back, slipped, and raised another low gasp. In the tank before the throne the water quivered, a galaxy of bubbles broke upon the surface.
    There was a silence in which the very air seemed to hold its breath.
    ‘Am I to understand,’ said the Queen, her palms falling open on her lap, her fingers rigid as the crooked white bones of a winter hedge, ‘that you wish to be executed?’
    Fabrigas let his eyes roll skyward, to the ribbed arches of the ceiling.
    ‘Oh, my wish, my wish, my wishy wish. My wish,’ said Fabrigas with a flutter of his long dark lashes, ‘is only that justice be done.’
    There was a silence in which the very air seemed to quietly, fearfully put on its coat and leave the room.
    ‘Are you aware,’ said the Queen, ‘that wishing for death is a form of treason which is itself punishable by exile?’
    ‘I was not aware of that!’ cried Fabrigas, beaming. ‘Things are not looking good for me! But death or exile, it makes no difference!’ and he gave a little skip.
    ‘Prisoner!’ barked the Queen, her hands becoming two balled fists. The old man stopped skipping and bowed his head. ‘Prisoner, it is clear that your skull has some powerfully mad meat trapped in it. Granted, there was a time when you would have been executed for claiming to be from another universe.’
    ‘Was?’ laughed Fabrigas nervously.
    ‘This month at Panathenaea there will be another assembly of theGrand Inquiry, in which some seven million witches, warlocks and wizards are to be put to death. You were to be among them.’
    ‘Were to be?’
    ‘But certain things have happened while you were imprisoned that have changed our views on creation.’
    ‘Oh no,’ said Fabrigas under his breath.
    ‘Last night I had a dream.’
    ‘Oh no, no, no, no, no.’
    ‘Yes, prisoner. I had a dream as wild and vivid as life. I had a dream that our people rose up and lived the true meaning of our creed: to strive, to seek, to conquer and never to yield. I had a dream that all the peoples of the universe would come together, and I would rule them as Queen for ever. And you were the hero of this dream. The dream told me that you would be the one to take our ships to the next universe, to bring glory to your Empire and Queen. I saw visions of conquest and victory. I saw our hammers bloody, and our crooked highways paved with diamonds. So you are not to be executed, or exiled, today, dear Fabrigas. You are saved. You have received your quantum of punishment and are free to go. We wish only to choose the direction and style of your going.’
    ‘Oh no no no no no no no no no.’

ONCE IN A LIFETIME
    Oh, I know, I know, I know, this is all hellishly confusing. A man arrives in a space-saucer and claims to have travelled from another universe – a universe identical to this one – except that he has already left to travel to the next universe. He is thrown into prison for cosmic heresy, later freed on a trumped-up exoneration based largely on a dream about a starfish and a giant clam. Ah! It is infinitely confounding. Black is up, left is white, and nothing is as it seems. I would not blame you in the slightest if you went off to read that lovely romance book your husband bought you for your name day: Captain A’Rod’s Crimson Whip .
    If you wish to familiarise yourself with the details of this strange case, you might read The People Versus M. Francisco Fabrigas Versus Time/Space: How One Man Challenged the Laws of Physics … & Lost , by A. W. Frankzetter. But in the meantime, do hang tight. In time it all becomes clearer, I promise.
    *
    Certainly much had changed since Fabrigas survived his own execution at the cannon’s mouth and proposed a theory for