Read Online The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak by Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger
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zombies will never yell “Uncle!”
In addition to dismal pain reception, zombies also have poor vision. The eyes are one of the body's most sensitive organs, and they quickly dry out, particularly after one’s entire circulatory system has been shut down. Zombies do, however, have superior night vision, like that of a cat or a dog. They see in mostly black and white, making them superior hunters at nighttime and in other low-light situations.
If possible, try to avoid undead engagement during the evening or inside of dimly lit buildings. Zombies see better than humans do under these circumstances, and you will need every advantage you can get in order to survive the outbreak. It is tempting to employ a flashlight as an equalizer here, but this will only succeed in helping you to visualize the dozens of additional zombies your foolishness will inevitably attract.
Another perceptual advantage that zombies enjoy is a heightened sense of smell. This is more than likely how they will locate you. Just as you can smell them from great distances, they too can smell you from even greater distances. When venturing outside, it is important to douse yourself with buck urine or skunk gland extract, or any other strong animal musk you can find, in order to cover up your comparatively delicate (and appetizing) human odor. In fact, if you can trap a skunk, don't eat it if you don't need the meat. It will be much more valuable to you if you keep it alive and periodically harvest its perfume.
Another effective olfactory deterrent is rolling around in a pile of zombie remains. While this will certainly result in more stink than most people can bear, it will do a lot to convince zombies that you are not a potential meal. Haven’t you ever wondered why so few dogs are bitten/infected? Just make sure to keep your eyes and mouth shut while you’re submerged…
Although superior in their sense of smell and night vision, zombies can barely hear a thing. So don't be afraid of attracting them with gunfire, chainsaws, or obnoxious music. You will still want to be wary of attracting unwanted human attention, though, especially if you are dumb enough to play anything off the top 40. If you must insist on playing any kind of music, do yourself a favor and stick with baroque harpsichord compositions, John Denver, and anything else that practically NO ONE listens to.
Zombie Diet
Zombies feed on nothing but your brains. Even vegetarian hosts that become infected do not continue hungering for bran , they revert to their more carnivorous nature and desire only to gorge themselves on your brains .
What is interesting is that zombies are actually incapable of digesting their food. This is good news for you, because as they stuff themselves at the brain equivalent of the Golden Coral buffet, their stomachs swell and eventually burst, causing internal hemorrhaging that slows and weakens them. In some particularly voracious zombies, their bellies will split open completely upon reaching triple capacity, thus assisting nature in its own gluttony by allowing bugs and bacteria easier access to their insides.
The Zombie Mind
As mentioned previously, zombies are incredibly dimwitted. They cannot comprehend arithmetic, poetry, or British humor. This may not make them that different from the average American, but WHAT-EVER. I personally don't comprehend British humor either; I mean, I understand the jokes, I just don't think they are funny. Okay?
The astoundingly low level of zombie intelligence becomes apparent when one of them sees you through a window. Although it has the ability to smash right through the window and come after you, most of the time it will only try to bite the glass as if you and the window were one and the same. In fact, in most cases windows are only broken because of the pressure that builds up from the forward-pushing horde as it grows in weight through numbers.
There are many other
In addition to dismal pain reception, zombies also have poor vision. The eyes are one of the body's most sensitive organs, and they quickly dry out, particularly after one’s entire circulatory system has been shut down. Zombies do, however, have superior night vision, like that of a cat or a dog. They see in mostly black and white, making them superior hunters at nighttime and in other low-light situations.
If possible, try to avoid undead engagement during the evening or inside of dimly lit buildings. Zombies see better than humans do under these circumstances, and you will need every advantage you can get in order to survive the outbreak. It is tempting to employ a flashlight as an equalizer here, but this will only succeed in helping you to visualize the dozens of additional zombies your foolishness will inevitably attract.
Another perceptual advantage that zombies enjoy is a heightened sense of smell. This is more than likely how they will locate you. Just as you can smell them from great distances, they too can smell you from even greater distances. When venturing outside, it is important to douse yourself with buck urine or skunk gland extract, or any other strong animal musk you can find, in order to cover up your comparatively delicate (and appetizing) human odor. In fact, if you can trap a skunk, don't eat it if you don't need the meat. It will be much more valuable to you if you keep it alive and periodically harvest its perfume.
Another effective olfactory deterrent is rolling around in a pile of zombie remains. While this will certainly result in more stink than most people can bear, it will do a lot to convince zombies that you are not a potential meal. Haven’t you ever wondered why so few dogs are bitten/infected? Just make sure to keep your eyes and mouth shut while you’re submerged…
Although superior in their sense of smell and night vision, zombies can barely hear a thing. So don't be afraid of attracting them with gunfire, chainsaws, or obnoxious music. You will still want to be wary of attracting unwanted human attention, though, especially if you are dumb enough to play anything off the top 40. If you must insist on playing any kind of music, do yourself a favor and stick with baroque harpsichord compositions, John Denver, and anything else that practically NO ONE listens to.
Zombie Diet
Zombies feed on nothing but your brains. Even vegetarian hosts that become infected do not continue hungering for bran , they revert to their more carnivorous nature and desire only to gorge themselves on your brains .
What is interesting is that zombies are actually incapable of digesting their food. This is good news for you, because as they stuff themselves at the brain equivalent of the Golden Coral buffet, their stomachs swell and eventually burst, causing internal hemorrhaging that slows and weakens them. In some particularly voracious zombies, their bellies will split open completely upon reaching triple capacity, thus assisting nature in its own gluttony by allowing bugs and bacteria easier access to their insides.
The Zombie Mind
As mentioned previously, zombies are incredibly dimwitted. They cannot comprehend arithmetic, poetry, or British humor. This may not make them that different from the average American, but WHAT-EVER. I personally don't comprehend British humor either; I mean, I understand the jokes, I just don't think they are funny. Okay?
The astoundingly low level of zombie intelligence becomes apparent when one of them sees you through a window. Although it has the ability to smash right through the window and come after you, most of the time it will only try to bite the glass as if you and the window were one and the same. In fact, in most cases windows are only broken because of the pressure that builds up from the forward-pushing horde as it grows in weight through numbers.
There are many other
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