a combat scenario.
BLASTERS: A modification of the standard push-up; instead of raising your body to an elbows-locked position, thrust your body upward, attempting to lift your upper torso completely off the ground. The forceful movement will help build explosive power in your upper body. Training your body to initiate bursts of strength is also critical in close combat with the undead. This exercise can help build the strength to shove an attacking corpse away from you as far and as fast as possible. Imagine at the bottom of each repetition that rather than pushing off the floor, you are pushing a ravenous ghoul away from your body.
KICKOUTS: This technique has the same power-building premise as blasters, except for your lower body. Similar to a karate-style front-thrust kick, this exercise develops strength in your thighs and calves so that you can launch an attacker away from you with your feet. When using this type of movement on the living dead, the goal is to push the zombie’s torso forcefully away from your body, while at the same time avoiding its grasp. In a standing position, raise your knee to your chest and push outward with the ball of your foot, imagining that you are pushing a zombie away from you. After your leg is fully extended, retract your foot quickly to avoid being caught by an undead hand.
WOODCHOPPERS: Ideally this exercise would involve the actual splitting of lumber (as the adage goes, the person who chops the wood warms himself twice). Place a mark on a tree or any solid, freestanding object and try to strike that mark repeatedly with one-handed and two-handed swings. If an actual ax is not available, any long, heavy object such as a tree branch or sledgehammer will do. This exercise not only will help build strength in your upper body and core muscles, but it also develops the coordination required to strike a small target, such as the temporal area on the skull, accurately and repeatedly. Mentally picture the mark you are striking as the cranium of an attacking corpse.
SKULLPOPPERS: Another exercise that simulates an action that may be required of you in undead combat. Place a car tire on a stable surface. Mark a spot on the tire. Raise your knee to your chest, then stomp on the mark as forcefully as you can. Execute a number of repetitions, making sure you complete an equal number of stomps with each leg to ensure balanced development. Building strength in this exercise will help when you must finish fallen or decapitated zombies with the heel of your boot.
Just as with the previous ZBFC routine, you can link the combat-oriented exercises listed earlier into one Zombie Combat Fitness Circuit (ZCFC):
Zombie Combat Fitness Circuit
• 25 blasters
• 25 kickouts (each leg)
• 25 woodchoppers (two-handed)
• 25 skullpoppers (each leg)
Ideally, you should create a unique circuit incorporating a variety of all the exercises previously listed to avoid the boredom that comes with repeating monotonous fitness routines. The more varied and persistently challenging you make your workouts, the more likely you are to look forward to completing them, and the fitter you will be against the undead.
DIET
People used to always ask me, “With all the science, technology, and research available, why is everyone still so fat?” What no one understood or accepted back then was that being fat did not necessarily mean not being fit. When the dead began to walk, that’s when everybody figured it out. As much as fitness professionals like to say they emphasize health, many just gave the public what it wanted—and it wanted six-pack abs, even if it meant getting them in the unhealthiest ways possible. They didn’t realize that having your body fat level so low may be nice eye candy, but if you need to walk fifty miles with a mob of inexhaustible creatures on your ass and the only food you’ve eaten in days is a wedge of moldy bread, a single-digit body fat percentage could be a death
BLASTERS: A modification of the standard push-up; instead of raising your body to an elbows-locked position, thrust your body upward, attempting to lift your upper torso completely off the ground. The forceful movement will help build explosive power in your upper body. Training your body to initiate bursts of strength is also critical in close combat with the undead. This exercise can help build the strength to shove an attacking corpse away from you as far and as fast as possible. Imagine at the bottom of each repetition that rather than pushing off the floor, you are pushing a ravenous ghoul away from your body.
KICKOUTS: This technique has the same power-building premise as blasters, except for your lower body. Similar to a karate-style front-thrust kick, this exercise develops strength in your thighs and calves so that you can launch an attacker away from you with your feet. When using this type of movement on the living dead, the goal is to push the zombie’s torso forcefully away from your body, while at the same time avoiding its grasp. In a standing position, raise your knee to your chest and push outward with the ball of your foot, imagining that you are pushing a zombie away from you. After your leg is fully extended, retract your foot quickly to avoid being caught by an undead hand.
WOODCHOPPERS: Ideally this exercise would involve the actual splitting of lumber (as the adage goes, the person who chops the wood warms himself twice). Place a mark on a tree or any solid, freestanding object and try to strike that mark repeatedly with one-handed and two-handed swings. If an actual ax is not available, any long, heavy object such as a tree branch or sledgehammer will do. This exercise not only will help build strength in your upper body and core muscles, but it also develops the coordination required to strike a small target, such as the temporal area on the skull, accurately and repeatedly. Mentally picture the mark you are striking as the cranium of an attacking corpse.
SKULLPOPPERS: Another exercise that simulates an action that may be required of you in undead combat. Place a car tire on a stable surface. Mark a spot on the tire. Raise your knee to your chest, then stomp on the mark as forcefully as you can. Execute a number of repetitions, making sure you complete an equal number of stomps with each leg to ensure balanced development. Building strength in this exercise will help when you must finish fallen or decapitated zombies with the heel of your boot.
Just as with the previous ZBFC routine, you can link the combat-oriented exercises listed earlier into one Zombie Combat Fitness Circuit (ZCFC):
Zombie Combat Fitness Circuit
• 25 blasters
• 25 kickouts (each leg)
• 25 woodchoppers (two-handed)
• 25 skullpoppers (each leg)
Ideally, you should create a unique circuit incorporating a variety of all the exercises previously listed to avoid the boredom that comes with repeating monotonous fitness routines. The more varied and persistently challenging you make your workouts, the more likely you are to look forward to completing them, and the fitter you will be against the undead.
DIET
People used to always ask me, “With all the science, technology, and research available, why is everyone still so fat?” What no one understood or accepted back then was that being fat did not necessarily mean not being fit. When the dead began to walk, that’s when everybody figured it out. As much as fitness professionals like to say they emphasize health, many just gave the public what it wanted—and it wanted six-pack abs, even if it meant getting them in the unhealthiest ways possible. They didn’t realize that having your body fat level so low may be nice eye candy, but if you need to walk fifty miles with a mob of inexhaustible creatures on your ass and the only food you’ve eaten in days is a wedge of moldy bread, a single-digit body fat percentage could be a death
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