Read Online The Youth & Young Loves of Oliver Wade: Stories by Ben Monopoli - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ben Monopoli
Ads: Link
appeared on my list I knew he hadn’t
unblocked me.
***
Senior year brought a new blankness and a deep
friendlessness. Then in late November, one year or a million years after he
told me he was in love, Boyd’s name reappeared on my buddy list. Boydyboy—I’d
forgotten what it looked like, doubted sometimes it had ever been real. I
watched the name but didn’t message him, and after a few minutes it went away.
For three nights that same thing happened. I didn’t know if
it was a signal. We hadn’t spoken in school all year. After some timid and
unsuccessful attempts to rekindle things with Itchy Chin Mike (now prom king),
I had fallen in with the stoners, at least during lunch when I needed a table
to sit at. The rest of the time I imagined my muscles were much bigger than
they were and I hulked silently down the halls, keeping to myself. Boyd and I
barely even looked at each other. Now this. On the fourth night of it I clicked
his name.
OwOw0: hi boyd .
Boydyboy: hello Ollie.
OwOw0: how’s it going...?
Boydyboy: up to my fuckin eyeballs in
college essays.
OwOw0: already??
Boydyboy: I’m trying for early admission
OwOw0: oh, cool. what colleges are you looking at?
Boydyboy: something far from fuckin Lee
is my main priority.
OwOw0: I haven’t even really thought about colleges yet. I’ll
probably go to UMASS I guess if they’ll take me.
Boydyboy: that’s way too close.
OwOw0: I guess. or maybe someplace in Boston. Northeastern or
Shuster.
Boydyboy: still too close. I have this high suspicion that my
future is going to really suck and the only way i can
hold that off is to get the fuck out of here.
OwOw0: why do you think it’s going to suck?
Boydyboy: if the past is any indication.........
I could push him to say more, or I could leave it alone.
Maybe I had learned to leave things alone.
OwOw0: so where are you applying?
Boydyboy: Oregon state, a couple places in CA.
OwOw0: wow you weren’t kidding about going far.
Boydyboy: nope.
For a long time we said nothing more and I sat watching
the cursor blink on my screen. I was sure nothing was going to come of this
chat but for whatever reason I was reluctant to let it end. Maybe if I kept it
going pure momentum would lead us to some kind of conclusion.
OwOw0: what are the application essays to these places like?
Boydyboy: the worst. I’m facing some serious bullshit.
OwOw0: what’s an example question
Boydyboy: hold on.
OwOw0: Sure
Boydyboy: I got one. here: “Tell us about a time when you
encountered someone who helped you discover yourself and your place in the
human community.’
OwOw0: Yikes. Deepness follows.
Boydyboy: I know right.
OwOw0: so basically someone who helped you to know yourself more
clearly than you did before?
Boydyboy: basically yea.
OwOw0: Who is your someone?
Boydyboy: I don’t have one yet. :-(
OwOw0: do you want to know who mine would be if i was writing it?
Boydyboy: shall i guess? ha
OwOw0: you don’t need to guess. it would be you Boyd.......
So was Boyd Wren ever in love with me? I still have no
idea. When I bring all my experience to the question, I think he probably was.
And that makes me angry. Having the world fuck you out of your first love is a
hard thing to bear. By rights Boyd should’ve been my first kiss. He should’ve
been the first person I touched without clothes. Most of all I should’ve been
able to look into his blue eyes knowing he felt the same. In a different, more
perfect world I would’ve had those things.
Boydyboy: OK. i don’t see why it would be
me but ok.
OwOw0: you don’t? sometimes i wonder if i’m completely insane or if i’ve ever known you at all.
Boydyboy: we’ve known each ohter since
preschool Ollie.
OwOw0: that’s true. I’m sorry for things going so bad between us
after all that time.
Boydyboy: well that’s just another brick in the wall now isn’t it
Oliver.
OwOw0: everybody hurts. that’s what
unblocked me.
***
Senior year brought a new blankness and a deep
friendlessness. Then in late November, one year or a million years after he
told me he was in love, Boyd’s name reappeared on my buddy list. Boydyboy—I’d
forgotten what it looked like, doubted sometimes it had ever been real. I
watched the name but didn’t message him, and after a few minutes it went away.
For three nights that same thing happened. I didn’t know if
it was a signal. We hadn’t spoken in school all year. After some timid and
unsuccessful attempts to rekindle things with Itchy Chin Mike (now prom king),
I had fallen in with the stoners, at least during lunch when I needed a table
to sit at. The rest of the time I imagined my muscles were much bigger than
they were and I hulked silently down the halls, keeping to myself. Boyd and I
barely even looked at each other. Now this. On the fourth night of it I clicked
his name.
OwOw0: hi boyd .
Boydyboy: hello Ollie.
OwOw0: how’s it going...?
Boydyboy: up to my fuckin eyeballs in
college essays.
OwOw0: already??
Boydyboy: I’m trying for early admission
OwOw0: oh, cool. what colleges are you looking at?
Boydyboy: something far from fuckin Lee
is my main priority.
OwOw0: I haven’t even really thought about colleges yet. I’ll
probably go to UMASS I guess if they’ll take me.
Boydyboy: that’s way too close.
OwOw0: I guess. or maybe someplace in Boston. Northeastern or
Shuster.
Boydyboy: still too close. I have this high suspicion that my
future is going to really suck and the only way i can
hold that off is to get the fuck out of here.
OwOw0: why do you think it’s going to suck?
Boydyboy: if the past is any indication.........
I could push him to say more, or I could leave it alone.
Maybe I had learned to leave things alone.
OwOw0: so where are you applying?
Boydyboy: Oregon state, a couple places in CA.
OwOw0: wow you weren’t kidding about going far.
Boydyboy: nope.
For a long time we said nothing more and I sat watching
the cursor blink on my screen. I was sure nothing was going to come of this
chat but for whatever reason I was reluctant to let it end. Maybe if I kept it
going pure momentum would lead us to some kind of conclusion.
OwOw0: what are the application essays to these places like?
Boydyboy: the worst. I’m facing some serious bullshit.
OwOw0: what’s an example question
Boydyboy: hold on.
OwOw0: Sure
Boydyboy: I got one. here: “Tell us about a time when you
encountered someone who helped you discover yourself and your place in the
human community.’
OwOw0: Yikes. Deepness follows.
Boydyboy: I know right.
OwOw0: so basically someone who helped you to know yourself more
clearly than you did before?
Boydyboy: basically yea.
OwOw0: Who is your someone?
Boydyboy: I don’t have one yet. :-(
OwOw0: do you want to know who mine would be if i was writing it?
Boydyboy: shall i guess? ha
OwOw0: you don’t need to guess. it would be you Boyd.......
So was Boyd Wren ever in love with me? I still have no
idea. When I bring all my experience to the question, I think he probably was.
And that makes me angry. Having the world fuck you out of your first love is a
hard thing to bear. By rights Boyd should’ve been my first kiss. He should’ve
been the first person I touched without clothes. Most of all I should’ve been
able to look into his blue eyes knowing he felt the same. In a different, more
perfect world I would’ve had those things.
Boydyboy: OK. i don’t see why it would be
me but ok.
OwOw0: you don’t? sometimes i wonder if i’m completely insane or if i’ve ever known you at all.
Boydyboy: we’ve known each ohter since
preschool Ollie.
OwOw0: that’s true. I’m sorry for things going so bad between us
after all that time.
Boydyboy: well that’s just another brick in the wall now isn’t it
Oliver.
OwOw0: everybody hurts. that’s what
Similar Books
