Read Online The Yellow World by Albert Espinosa - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Albert Espinosa
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Well, I recommend you have this particular style
.
4. Books in woods. Little libraries in the middle of forests. Books originally come from forests; we shouldleave some there. Make some cupboards and put them there. It would be great if you could climb a mountain and find the perfect book to read when you got to the top.
5. Bars in banks. Little bars while you wait to take money out or see if they’re going to give you a loan. Why do banks have to be so serious; why can’t there be a bar so that you can meet other clients, know what they’re interested in, what they hope to get out of their life or their investments? I’m sure loads of people would go in the morning and say happily: “I’m just off to the bank; I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Have a nice cup of coffee or a quick snack before deciding what to do with your savings. On one side you order a little plate of squid and on the other two hundred thousand euros: See which one you get first.
18
Hibernate for twenty minutes
Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe
.
—phrase most likely to be heard in any X-ray room
There are phrases in the hospital that you hear until you’re fed up with them; they end up forming part of you. It’s as if they were suddenly in fashion. It’s like when there’s a phrase that gets famous on a TV program and then people don’t stop repeating it. In the hospital world it’s the same sort of thing; this is one of those phrases.
“Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe” is what you hear most often when they give you an X-ray or a CAT scan. They above all need you not to move; you have to stay very still so that everything shows up in the right place. This period of immobility lasts between fifteen minutes and an hour and fifteen minutes. You have to be very patient to get much outof these moments; you have to take them as moments of inner peace.
Of course, to enjoy having cancer you have to enjoy dead time, which is the basis for everything when you’ve got this illness. It’s the hardest thing: to not do anything, to stay still even though inside you really want to walk away, to fly, to play, to work.
This is what you have to control, and this is also what it’s most difficult to accept. You’re alone in the room, because no one else wants to irradiate themselves. What about me? Do I want to irradiate myself? I always asked myself that when the others left the room.
But it’s not just about being still, it’s also about keeping quiet.
And as if that weren’t enough, you have to control not only your silence but also your breathing. Lots of silence, lots of stillness, and lots of controlled breathing.
Without knowing it, every time they gave me an X-ray I came into contact with my inner self. It was like looking for something and finding it: self-examination, a strange yoga that made me feel better. I came out of the X-ray room improved.
And so, after I was cured, I carried on using this method. Every month I try to make an appointment to give myself an X-ray. I don’t actually have an X-ray machine at home, but they’re not necessary for you to examine yourself from the inside.
1. I lie down on my bed. I shut all the doors, turn off my cellphone, and stay still, very still.
2. I repeat in my mind the number one phrase from the hit parade: “Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe.”
3. I do this for twenty minutes. I forbid myself from doing anything that isn’t thinking about not moving or rationing the air that I breathe.
4. And, magically, when you finish this period of not doing anything, you can solve problems that had become rusted shut, find feelings that you had thought lost forever, and believe (of course, you have to check it later) that you have the solution for everything.
It might seem like meditation, but really it’s just being still. Everything in this world would be a great deal better if we just stayed still for a while, stayed very still. Twenty-minute hibernations.
19
Look for
.
4. Books in woods. Little libraries in the middle of forests. Books originally come from forests; we shouldleave some there. Make some cupboards and put them there. It would be great if you could climb a mountain and find the perfect book to read when you got to the top.
5. Bars in banks. Little bars while you wait to take money out or see if they’re going to give you a loan. Why do banks have to be so serious; why can’t there be a bar so that you can meet other clients, know what they’re interested in, what they hope to get out of their life or their investments? I’m sure loads of people would go in the morning and say happily: “I’m just off to the bank; I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Have a nice cup of coffee or a quick snack before deciding what to do with your savings. On one side you order a little plate of squid and on the other two hundred thousand euros: See which one you get first.
18
Hibernate for twenty minutes
Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe
.
—phrase most likely to be heard in any X-ray room
There are phrases in the hospital that you hear until you’re fed up with them; they end up forming part of you. It’s as if they were suddenly in fashion. It’s like when there’s a phrase that gets famous on a TV program and then people don’t stop repeating it. In the hospital world it’s the same sort of thing; this is one of those phrases.
“Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe” is what you hear most often when they give you an X-ray or a CAT scan. They above all need you not to move; you have to stay very still so that everything shows up in the right place. This period of immobility lasts between fifteen minutes and an hour and fifteen minutes. You have to be very patient to get much outof these moments; you have to take them as moments of inner peace.
Of course, to enjoy having cancer you have to enjoy dead time, which is the basis for everything when you’ve got this illness. It’s the hardest thing: to not do anything, to stay still even though inside you really want to walk away, to fly, to play, to work.
This is what you have to control, and this is also what it’s most difficult to accept. You’re alone in the room, because no one else wants to irradiate themselves. What about me? Do I want to irradiate myself? I always asked myself that when the others left the room.
But it’s not just about being still, it’s also about keeping quiet.
And as if that weren’t enough, you have to control not only your silence but also your breathing. Lots of silence, lots of stillness, and lots of controlled breathing.
Without knowing it, every time they gave me an X-ray I came into contact with my inner self. It was like looking for something and finding it: self-examination, a strange yoga that made me feel better. I came out of the X-ray room improved.
And so, after I was cured, I carried on using this method. Every month I try to make an appointment to give myself an X-ray. I don’t actually have an X-ray machine at home, but they’re not necessary for you to examine yourself from the inside.
1. I lie down on my bed. I shut all the doors, turn off my cellphone, and stay still, very still.
2. I repeat in my mind the number one phrase from the hit parade: “Don’t move. Breathe, don’t breathe.”
3. I do this for twenty minutes. I forbid myself from doing anything that isn’t thinking about not moving or rationing the air that I breathe.
4. And, magically, when you finish this period of not doing anything, you can solve problems that had become rusted shut, find feelings that you had thought lost forever, and believe (of course, you have to check it later) that you have the solution for everything.
It might seem like meditation, but really it’s just being still. Everything in this world would be a great deal better if we just stayed still for a while, stayed very still. Twenty-minute hibernations.
19
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