Read Online The Way of Escape by Kristen Reed - Free Book Online Page A

first night together. Emmanuel saw that you were visibly distraught and that I came to your aid. It’s not terribly far-fetched that I would attempt to console you with something a little more intimate than words.”
    “And if I act a little flustered when we eat together tomorrow night, then that would make it more believable. After all, what woman in my position wouldn’t be a little ashamed after falling off the purity wagon with a vampire?”
    “Exactly,” Augustus said. “Now, dawn is approaching, so we should get ready for bed. You can shower first, and I’ll join you in bed shortly after I’ve done the same.”
    “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
    Then, Augustus and I exchanged a smile and I went back into my room to get ready for bed, quietly questioning my decision to go along with his plan with every step I took.
    ♦              ♦              ♦
    After I finished my shower, I pulled on the most modest nighttime attire I could find and finished my nightly bathroom routine. Once I was decent, I opened the door and stepped back into Augustus’ room. In the years before I became a Christian, I had done a lot more than simply share a bed with a man. I had stolen every base, made quite a few home runs, and hit one or two balls out of the park, but I still felt incredibly exposed in that moment. I smoothed down my shirt with trembling hands, and I wondered if my nerves were inspired by the fact that I was purposely facing a temptation that I wasn’t sure I could withstand, doing something I swore I’d never do again, or getting cozy with a vampire.
    I can’t decide what’s scarier … Sharing a bed with someone who might stir up old urges or someone who drinks blood for sustenance.
    As Augustus looked up from the book he was reading and rose from his desk, I realized that my anxiety came from something else. Yes, the vampire who stood before me was more attractive than any man I’d ever been with, but I didn’t want to sleep with him. I had firm, unshakable standards for what I wanted in a man — a husband to be exact — and he fell so laughably short of my requirements that I couldn’t see myself being truly tempted by him.
    Augustus being a vampire didn’t even bother me as much as it originally had. Facing my own bloodthirsty nature somehow made him less frightening even though our motives and views were drastically different. Fangs aside, he was no better or worse than a crooked politician or a mob boss. While, I didn’t fully trust his moral compass, Augustus didn’t make my skin crawl like Emmanuel did.
    What truly made my heart race and palms perspire was the fear that sleeping in such an intimate position would bring to mind memories that I sometimes hated myself for even having. I didn’t want lying beside Augustus to remind me of the nights I’d guilt tripped one night stands into sleeping over or relaxed in the arms of men who I thought I could trust with my heart. Spending the night in bed with Augustus could bring all of that back to mind with a vengeance. At best, sadness and shame would rear their ugly heads. At worst, I’d miss and crave the seemingly simpler days when I was too ignorant to know that physical pleasure in the wrong context could bring immeasurable emotional pain and displease God.
    “Is something wrong, Clara,” he asked.
    “I’m fine … I was just thinking.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yeah. Go ahead and take your shower.”
    Augustus held my gaze for a moment before grabbing the charcoal hued pajamas he’d placed on his bed and walking into the bathroom. While he showered, I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes as I tried to chase away the haunting memories that threatened to resurface. I struggled to shut my brain off for several fruitless minutes before realizing that I needed to face and acknowledge my past instead of avoiding it.
    I’d messed up too many times to count in my previous