The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya

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Authors: Nagaru Tanigawa
Tags: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
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Yuki looked at the cat on her shoulder as if contemplating something. Perhaps she was considering annihilating them both, if she indeed could not have Itsuki.
    But the answer came from an unexpected source.
    “There is nothing to consider. You have only to steal the boy’s will. From what I’ve heard, you have the ability to control others. Simply take control of him, then, and hide him away somewhere, then deal with the girl at your leisure.”
    Shamisen spoke, and I freaked out. I’d told him not to speak, so what the hell was he doing? No dinner for him!
    “Understood.”
    Yuki, composed as always, bopped Shamisen on the forehead with the star that tipped her wand. The cat shut his mouth. Yuki then spoke again, to nobody in particular.
    “That was ventriloquism.”
    She then raised the Star Whatever.
    “Take this, Itsuki Koizumi. Your will becomes mine.”
    A cheap special-effect thunderbolt leaped from the star.
    I’m sure it’s obvious what happened next, but I suppose I might as well relate the events of the last battle.
    To make a long story short, Itsuki’s potential power was realized. Having found himself in a desperate situation, he activated the latent potency that he never knew he had and his full abilities were unleashed. Such powers are often difficult to control, and Itsuki’s case was no different. The force of his emotion caused his incomprehensible power to reflect Yuki’s attack back on her with incredible energy.
    “… How unfortunate.”
    “Meeooow—!”
    And with that, the mysterious Yuki and Shamisen were blown off into the horizon, leaving behind terribly disappointing final words.
    Itsuki watched their demise, then spoke to Mikuru in a soft voice.
    “It’s over, Asahina.”
    Mikuru looked up tremulously, gazing at Itsuki as though he were a very bright light.
    Itsuki put his arm around Mikuru and helped her to her feet, then rested his hand on the roof’s guardrail and looked up to the sky. Mikuru followed his gaze to the clouds as the camera panned up.
    It was obvious that the camera panned up any time the connection to the next scene was unclear.
    Which brought us to the very last scene.
    Despite its being autumn, Mikuru and Itsuki walked along a cherry-blossom-filled road. The degree to which her waitress outfit and his school uniform went together is strangely irritating.
    Conveniently, a sudden gust of wind arose, sweeping up the scattered petals into little whirls. This was the only natural scene in the film.
    Itsuki smiled as he plucked a cherry petal from Mikuru’s hair. Mikuru blushed bashfully and slowly closed her eyes.
    The camera’s focus blurred, then tilted up to capture the blue autumn sky. The sky again? Really?
    The intro to the ending theme we stole from somewhere began to play as the credits scrolled.
    The voice of God, evidently recorded separately, began to deliver some narration as
The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
came to its conclusion just as confusingly as it began.
    Calling a movie filled with such ridiculousness from beginning to end a “movie” is an insult to people who are actually serious about making movies, and yet somehow this wound up being rather popular. The film was supposed to be bookended by features created by the film society, but in the end the audience demand for our film wound up pushing the others aside andmonopolizing the film society’s projector, no doubt because the voice of God had been hard at work hyping the movie, and also because Mikuru Asahina was quite popular.
    Evidently the poor film society ended up screening their movies in little spurts whenever the A/V room was free.
    Since we weren’t collecting ticket fees, no one was making any money, but the popularity went directly to the director/producer’s head, and she immediately proposed a sequel, along with a new edit entitled
The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina: The Director’s Cut
that would be burned to DVD and sold, ideas that both myself and a teary-eyed

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