Read Online The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nagaru Tanigawa
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you at least remember the name of a classmate from a year ago? Or what, you go to a different high school and suddenly you don’t care about your old pals? C’mon, man!”
He sounded genuinely wounded.
“No, that’s not it.”
I cracked the lid on my memories and thought back to my third year of junior high. Nakagawa, huh? I did remember him. He was a well-built, broad-shouldered guy—I thought he was in the rugby club or something.
And yet… I looked at the receiver again.
We had only been in class together that one year, and we hadn’t been close. We hung out in different groups in the class. Sure, we’d say “Hey” or “ ’Sup” when we passed in the hallway, but if you wanted to know whether we talked every day, I could tell you for sure that we didn’t. Since graduation, I hadn’t had a single reason to think of his name or face.
I started picking up the claw clippings Shamisen had left behind as I spoke.
“Nakagawa, eh? Yeah, Nakagawa. I guess it has been a while. So, how’ve you been? I hear you went to an all-boys schoolsomewhere, right? So why are you calling me? Are you working for the alumni association or something?”
“No, the alumni group’s headed up by Sudo—he goes to a public high school. But that’s not important. I’ve got something to tell you, okay? So listen. I’m serious.”
So what was so serious about this phone call out of the blue? I couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be getting at.
“Kyon, you gotta hear me out. This is something I can only tell you. You’re my only lifeline here.”
Sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. But what the heck, I thought, let’s hear him out—let’s hear what this estranged former classmate has gone to the trouble of calling me to say.
“It’s love.”
“…”
“I’m serious. It’s killing me. These last few months, it’s all I can think about, whether I’m awake or asleep.”
“…”
“It’s gotten so bad that I can’t do anything else. Well, no, that’s not true. I’ve been throwing myself into schoolwork and club activities, just to distract myself. My grades have gone up, and I’m on the varsity team after just a year.”
“…”
“And it’s all because of love. Do you understand me, Kyon? Do you understand the suffering in my chest? Once I’d looked up your home phone number in the junior high registry, do you know how many times I hesitated to call you? My body’s shaking right now. It’s love. The incredible power of love has forced me to call you. Please understand.”
“Look, Nakagawa…”
I licked my dry lips. A bead of cold sweat dripped down my temple. This was bad.
“… I’m sorry, but your love or whatever is just too… um… all I can say is that I’m sorry. I just can’t return your feelings.”
A cold shiver ran down my spine, if ever one had. I should say right now that I am 100 percent heterosexual. I don’t have a hummingbird’s weight worth of desire to bat for the other team. Both potentially and unconsciously, I am totally straight. I mean, consider this—it warms my whole body to think of Asahina’s face and figure. But when I think of Koizumi, I just want to sock him. Which means I’m not even bi, right? Right?
I spoke into the receiver without a clear idea of whom I wanted to address my thoughts to.
“So, uh, Nakagawa—we can stay friends, but…”
Not that we had ever been friends to begin with.
“… there’s just no way it can be a romantic thing. I’m sorry. Okay? Good luck at that boys’ school you’re going to. I’m just going to enjoy my normal high school life at North High. It’s been good talking to you after so long, though. If we meet at a reunion, don’t worry—I won’t out you. So, see ya—”
“Wait, Kyon.”
Nakagawa sounded suspicious.
“What are you talking about? You’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not in love with you. What the heck are you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter!”
So what was that
He sounded genuinely wounded.
“No, that’s not it.”
I cracked the lid on my memories and thought back to my third year of junior high. Nakagawa, huh? I did remember him. He was a well-built, broad-shouldered guy—I thought he was in the rugby club or something.
And yet… I looked at the receiver again.
We had only been in class together that one year, and we hadn’t been close. We hung out in different groups in the class. Sure, we’d say “Hey” or “ ’Sup” when we passed in the hallway, but if you wanted to know whether we talked every day, I could tell you for sure that we didn’t. Since graduation, I hadn’t had a single reason to think of his name or face.
I started picking up the claw clippings Shamisen had left behind as I spoke.
“Nakagawa, eh? Yeah, Nakagawa. I guess it has been a while. So, how’ve you been? I hear you went to an all-boys schoolsomewhere, right? So why are you calling me? Are you working for the alumni association or something?”
“No, the alumni group’s headed up by Sudo—he goes to a public high school. But that’s not important. I’ve got something to tell you, okay? So listen. I’m serious.”
So what was so serious about this phone call out of the blue? I couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be getting at.
“Kyon, you gotta hear me out. This is something I can only tell you. You’re my only lifeline here.”
Sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. But what the heck, I thought, let’s hear him out—let’s hear what this estranged former classmate has gone to the trouble of calling me to say.
“It’s love.”
“…”
“I’m serious. It’s killing me. These last few months, it’s all I can think about, whether I’m awake or asleep.”
“…”
“It’s gotten so bad that I can’t do anything else. Well, no, that’s not true. I’ve been throwing myself into schoolwork and club activities, just to distract myself. My grades have gone up, and I’m on the varsity team after just a year.”
“…”
“And it’s all because of love. Do you understand me, Kyon? Do you understand the suffering in my chest? Once I’d looked up your home phone number in the junior high registry, do you know how many times I hesitated to call you? My body’s shaking right now. It’s love. The incredible power of love has forced me to call you. Please understand.”
“Look, Nakagawa…”
I licked my dry lips. A bead of cold sweat dripped down my temple. This was bad.
“… I’m sorry, but your love or whatever is just too… um… all I can say is that I’m sorry. I just can’t return your feelings.”
A cold shiver ran down my spine, if ever one had. I should say right now that I am 100 percent heterosexual. I don’t have a hummingbird’s weight worth of desire to bat for the other team. Both potentially and unconsciously, I am totally straight. I mean, consider this—it warms my whole body to think of Asahina’s face and figure. But when I think of Koizumi, I just want to sock him. Which means I’m not even bi, right? Right?
I spoke into the receiver without a clear idea of whom I wanted to address my thoughts to.
“So, uh, Nakagawa—we can stay friends, but…”
Not that we had ever been friends to begin with.
“… there’s just no way it can be a romantic thing. I’m sorry. Okay? Good luck at that boys’ school you’re going to. I’m just going to enjoy my normal high school life at North High. It’s been good talking to you after so long, though. If we meet at a reunion, don’t worry—I won’t out you. So, see ya—”
“Wait, Kyon.”
Nakagawa sounded suspicious.
“What are you talking about? You’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not in love with you. What the heck are you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter!”
So what was that
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