Read Online The Virginity Mission by Cate Ellink - Free Book Online

with soap, eat a real meal with fresh food, drink icy cold fresh milk and flavoured cold drinks and sleep in a sleeping bag, alone.
    It’s only at night I allow myself to sob softly at my naïvety. By day, I sparkle. Nothing’s wrong with me. Only darkness knows the truth. I’ll never lose my virginity.

CHAPTER 5
    The next day we meet the mangrove team, who are real scientists from Townsville. It’s incredible learning about mangroves, measuring and weighing trees, collecting and bagging leaves, pods and pneumatophores. Pneumatophores are the greatest things. They’re those stick-like things that come out of the ground and help the plant roots to breathe. I love this work. We’re so busy I think of nothing but mangroves. The biology of the mangrove system is fascinating and I can’t learn enough about them.
    During the days I’m too busy to think but the nights are difficult. Night is time alone to berate myself for my stupidity. I thought Jason cared about me. Sadly, the last few weeks away from him, I’ve built a relationship from nothing. I deluded myself with dreams and reality has hit me in the face with a sharp, stinging slap.
    On the third morning I’m eager to get back to the mangroves after another night of self-recrimination. We go out and work hard. I like feeling the ache of my shoulders as I lug and weigh tree trunks and branches. Muscles hurt and heal. My heart is a muscle so it must be healing too. Picking mangrove leaves and filling a bag with them is satisfying. Struggling to get the huge, bulky bag hooked onto the scales is a moment of fun. The expanse of river amazes me, so much water. Beside the river the mangroves are like the rainforest, dense stands of vegetation that appear to be green, but once inside they’re magical. The backs of the leaves are yellow, or orange, or grey and taste of salt. Roots, in shades of grey, brown and black, protrude from the water and the oozing mud. Some roots look like rib bones in the way they arc from the tree and vanish into the black soil. Other roots are great slabs of timber, curving like an entryway, welcoming you to the tree. And in behind the mangroves if you walk back far enough from the river, there’s a gradual change where ferns and trees appear until it opens up to a forest.
    The day is over and we’re going back to camp. With night coming on my heart is heavy. As we pull into the boat ramp, something nags at my mind. The vehicle is parked differently. My breath skips, not enough so I’m holding my breath, just a little blip in the rhythm. The man beside the army 4WD is not Neil. That blip becomes a more pronounced stutter in my breathing. I look again. Blink hard. Stare. Dark hair. Broad shoulders.
    It’s Jason.
    Jason.
    Before there’s time for anything other than a huge breath that stirs a hundred emotions, the assistant quartermaster appears beside him waving madly. My heart, which had started to thump loudly, falls to my toes. Fiona’s with him? Standing next to him, laying her hand possessively on his arm, which he hasn’t shaken off. I don’t need a degree to put that together. She’s waving as the boat slides into the boat ramp. I try to work away the huge lump in my throat. I try to be as happy to see them as everyone else is. I try not to be a jealous cow. I fail.
    I slip from the boat and straggle up to the vehicle. My feet are heavy and my legs may as well be tree trunks. Fiona beams and laughs and jokes. Jason politely smiles at everyone. I dreamed of his smile, or a wink, especially for me. There’s none.
    It really is over before it started. The only good thing is no one knows. I couldn’t handle anyone giving me pity. Imagine if I’d told Belinda or Annie and they were watching now with sad expressions on their face. Thank goodness, they’re all laughing and oblivious to my pain. My heart is like shards of toffee.
    â€œI thought I’d come