Read Online The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio by Violet Blue - Free Book Online
Authors: Violet Blue
Tags: Reference, Self-Help, Health & Fitness, Sexual Instruction, Sexuality, Personal & Practical Guides, Men's Health
Ads: Link
sex with a partner; while the partner is fully present (yet unaware), you are imagining things to get yourself off from the stimulation that they provide. The illusion is created that somehow you’ve betrayed them. It’s important to understand the role of fantasy in sex before beating yourself up about what, how, with whom, or when you fantasize.
We all know that fantasy is not reality. But when we masturbate and imagine troubling things, people, or situations, our human curiosity kicks in and we ask ourselves if these things are what we really want. For some people this is a horrifying thought. It’s important to keep in mind that fantasies don’t necessarily bear any relationship to reality. The realm of fantasy is the sanctuary in your mind where you are free to enjoy things that you would never do in real life. And fantasy is not only a place where we can court the forbidden but also a powerful sex toy that can be used for arousal, heightening pleasure, and achieving climax.
Think about your fantasies for a moment, whether they are vivid, vague, seemingly mundane, or a little scary. Don’t try to look deeply into their meanings, just pick out their main themes. What you’re doing is isolating what it is that makes them a peak erotic experience for you and mining them for their erotic potential. Keep your mind open, and reserve judgment on yourself—this isn’t about “good” and “bad,” it’s about understanding what turns you on. Note what stands out, and the important differences between what is possible in fantasy and what is possible in reality.
Now you’re getting an idea of your main fantasy components. Think about what your favorite themes are, or try on new ideas that appeal to you. Feel comfortable with tapping into what these fantasies trigger when you want to become aroused. Remember that if you fantasize about something shocking, like being forced to perform sex, it doesn’t mean that you want it to happen or that you are a bad person. But by identifying it in the realm of your fantasies, you can find a safe space where imagination fuels desire. By learning how to turn yourself on with fantasy, you can do extraordinary things, such as making yourself really aroused and teaching yourself a new masturbation technique (for instance, delaying orgasm). Or you can fantasize while your partner goes down on you, and learn to orgasm with the combination of their stimulation and your fantasy. Or if you have established trust and good sexual communication with a partner, you can share your fantasies—you can even make some of them come true.
Use your fantasies freely when you masturbate, and use masturbation as a tool to learn about, explore, and enhance your own sexuality. As former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, M.D., said about masturbation, “It’s practicing for sex.” Here are some suggestions for masturbation:
• Learn your own topography. Read about your anatomy in chapter 2, “The Anatomy of a Man’s Pleasure.”
• Set aside some time for yourself when you have no obligations and some privacy. Treat yourself to something nice and sensual, like a relaxing shower or bath, a new lubricant, or an adult magazine or movie.
• Try masturbating in different positions. You can sit in a chair, lie on your belly or back, or visit different rooms in your house.
• Get familiar with your own touch, running your hands all over your torso, thighs, ass, and genitals. Make yourself acquainted with your cock and balls by touching them, and look at them in a mirror if you can (and if you’re comfortable with this).
• Using lubricant, caress your genitals with your hands, spending time to linger in the spots that feel good. Familiarize yourself with the different skin textures and colors, and take note of your favorite spots. Circle the head with the palm of your hand, massage it making a fist, or even pinch it gently with your fingers
• Guys use vibrators, too. If you want to use a
We all know that fantasy is not reality. But when we masturbate and imagine troubling things, people, or situations, our human curiosity kicks in and we ask ourselves if these things are what we really want. For some people this is a horrifying thought. It’s important to keep in mind that fantasies don’t necessarily bear any relationship to reality. The realm of fantasy is the sanctuary in your mind where you are free to enjoy things that you would never do in real life. And fantasy is not only a place where we can court the forbidden but also a powerful sex toy that can be used for arousal, heightening pleasure, and achieving climax.
Think about your fantasies for a moment, whether they are vivid, vague, seemingly mundane, or a little scary. Don’t try to look deeply into their meanings, just pick out their main themes. What you’re doing is isolating what it is that makes them a peak erotic experience for you and mining them for their erotic potential. Keep your mind open, and reserve judgment on yourself—this isn’t about “good” and “bad,” it’s about understanding what turns you on. Note what stands out, and the important differences between what is possible in fantasy and what is possible in reality.
Now you’re getting an idea of your main fantasy components. Think about what your favorite themes are, or try on new ideas that appeal to you. Feel comfortable with tapping into what these fantasies trigger when you want to become aroused. Remember that if you fantasize about something shocking, like being forced to perform sex, it doesn’t mean that you want it to happen or that you are a bad person. But by identifying it in the realm of your fantasies, you can find a safe space where imagination fuels desire. By learning how to turn yourself on with fantasy, you can do extraordinary things, such as making yourself really aroused and teaching yourself a new masturbation technique (for instance, delaying orgasm). Or you can fantasize while your partner goes down on you, and learn to orgasm with the combination of their stimulation and your fantasy. Or if you have established trust and good sexual communication with a partner, you can share your fantasies—you can even make some of them come true.
Use your fantasies freely when you masturbate, and use masturbation as a tool to learn about, explore, and enhance your own sexuality. As former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, M.D., said about masturbation, “It’s practicing for sex.” Here are some suggestions for masturbation:
• Learn your own topography. Read about your anatomy in chapter 2, “The Anatomy of a Man’s Pleasure.”
• Set aside some time for yourself when you have no obligations and some privacy. Treat yourself to something nice and sensual, like a relaxing shower or bath, a new lubricant, or an adult magazine or movie.
• Try masturbating in different positions. You can sit in a chair, lie on your belly or back, or visit different rooms in your house.
• Get familiar with your own touch, running your hands all over your torso, thighs, ass, and genitals. Make yourself acquainted with your cock and balls by touching them, and look at them in a mirror if you can (and if you’re comfortable with this).
• Using lubricant, caress your genitals with your hands, spending time to linger in the spots that feel good. Familiarize yourself with the different skin textures and colors, and take note of your favorite spots. Circle the head with the palm of your hand, massage it making a fist, or even pinch it gently with your fingers
• Guys use vibrators, too. If you want to use a
Similar Books
