Read Online The Testament of Mary by Colm Tóibín - Free Book Online

said, but had learned it and come to believe it was all the more true and impressive because of that.
    It was hard to credit that everything in the square had been arranged, but there was a different atmosphere here than there had been in the streets of Cana or at the wedding itself – there were no sudden shouts or shifts of mood, no sense of a wild-eyed gathering of people. Many of those in the square were older; they came in smaller groups. None of them seemed to recognize us, but nonetheless we stood in the shadows, Mary and I, trying to appear as though this was a normal place for us to come, or as though we too with our minder were part of the arrangement.
    At first I could not hear what was being said from the balcony of the building across the square and it was difficult even to get a clear view. We had to move from the shadows into the sun and then push forward into the crowd. It was Pilate, everyone around murmured his name, and he was shouting louder each time he spoke.
    ‘What accusation bring ye against this man?’
    And the people were shouting back in one voice.
    ‘If he were not a malefactor, we would not have delivered him up to thee!’
    I missed the next moment as someone had pushed me to the side and there was too much talking around us but Mary heard it and she told me what it was.Pilate had asked the crowd to take the prisoner and deal with him according to Jewish law.
    Pilate was still alone on the balcony with one or two officials standing to the side. Now I heard the response of the crowd because it came in ringing tones.
    ‘It is not lawful to put any man to death,’ they said, and it was clear in how they said it that all of this, every moment we were witnessing, had indeed been arranged. I did not know that such things could happen. Then Pilate disappeared and a new feeling grew among those around us, the talking and muttering ceased and I felt something fresh coming into the atmosphere as all of us stared in the direction of the balcony. I sensed a thirst for blood among the crowd. I could see it in people’s faces, how their jaws were set and their eyes bright with excitement. There was a dark vacancy in the faces of some, and they wanted this vacancy filled with cruelty, with pain and with the sound of someone crying out. Only something vicious would satisfy them now, once they had been given permission to want it. They had changed from being a crowd doing what they were told to being a mob in search of some vast satisfaction that could come only with shrieks of pain and torn flesh and broken bones.
    As time passed and we stood there waiting, I noticed this hunger spreading like contagion until Ibelieved that it had reached every single person there just as blood pumped from the heart makes its way inexorably to every part of the body.
    When Pilate came out again, they listened but what he said made no difference.
    ‘I find in him no fault at all,’ he said. ‘But ye had a custom that I should release unto you one prisoner at the Passover, will ye therefore that I release unto you the King of the Jews?’
    The crowd was ready. They shouted back: ‘Not this man, but Barabbas!’ And Barabbas the thief then appeared and he was set free to roars of approval from the crowd. And then there was a shout from somewhere and people at the front appeared to be able to see something that we could not see and there was confusion among the crowd and a sort of impatience as well, with people piling into the square so that we were no longer standing to the side but closer to the centre, all three of us staying together, saying nothing, making every effort not to be noticed. Everyone’s full attention was on the balcony; they knew what was shortly to appear and were merely waiting for this great satisfaction.
    And then it came and there was a gasp from the crowd, it was a gasp of delight before it was anything but it also contained shock and a sort of unease that grew into a hunger for more and thus