Read Online The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life by Robert G. Santee - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert G. Santee
Tags: Non-Fiction
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cancer! She started to tense up and felt a cold sweat. Her stomach was uneasy. It was too early in the morning to call for an
appointment to see a doctor. Her mind spun, wondering what to
do.
Jane went to her computer and searched online for
information about brown spots on the forehead. She saw pictures
at a number of sites that resembled the spot she had on her
forehead. These sites called it an age spot or liver spot and said it was a harmless effect of excessive sun exposure. Nevertheless, she thought, I couldn’t be so lucky. I bet it is a cancer!
So she searched for the term “skin cancer” and once again
found an endless number of sites. The more she looked at pictures
at site after site, the stronger her belief that she had skin cancer became. She felt the spot over and over and decided it was raised.
The more she looked at it, the more it looked irregular, both in
shape and at the edges. Her breathing became rapid and shallow.
Her mouth got quite dry, and her thoughts began to race: It’s a melanoma! I don’t want to die. What am I going to do?
Jane looked up at the clock and saw that it was now late
enough that her doctor’s office would be open. She immediately
called and told the nurse that she thought she had a melanoma
and wanted to make an appointment for that day. The nurse said
the doctor was booked up until the end of the week, but there was
a dermatologist in the building, who was more qualified to see her 47
uncorrected proof
The Tao of Stress
for this concern anyway. Jane contacted the dermatologist’s office and made an appointment for the first time slot available— a few
days later at 3 p.m.
For the entire time until she saw the doctor, Jane believed she
had a melanoma and that the worst was going to happen. She
shared her concern with her friends and family, and although
everyone believed she just had an age spot, they couldn’t sway her from believing it was cancerous. She became locked in a negative
loop as her absolute beliefs resulted in insomnia, loss of appetite, high anxiety, tension, and hardly being able to think about
anything else. She was so stressed by her belief that she called in sick to work.
After Jane arrived at the doctor’s office, the intensity of her
stress increased because she believed that once the doctor saw the spot on her forehead, he would confirm her fear. Finally, she was
taken to an exam room. A few minutes later, the doctor walked in,
introduced himself, and looked at the spot. Then he looked at it
again through a huge magnifying glass. He told Jane it was an age
spot and that she had nothing to worry about. To say Jane felt
relieved would be an understatement. He also told her she had
been smart to come in to have him look at it.
Most of us have been in situations where we were waiting for a
doctor’s response about symptoms, a blood test, a biopsy, an X- ray, and so on. In most cases, we worry about it to a certain degree.
Uncertainty creates anxiety. This is normal.
However, when we have an absolute, threat- based belief, we
can end up harming ourselves, even though there may be no
information to support that belief. Once Jane arrived at an
absolute belief that she had a melanoma, her fight- or- flight
response was activated, and she kept it activated with her ongoing threat- based thinking. As a result she was chronically stressed, and the stress was so severe that it interfered with her sleep, eating, physical health, and emotional well- being.
48
uncorrected proof
Simplifying Your Thoughts
Practice Examining Your Beliefs
Both of the preceding stories point out how absolute beliefs and judgments can complicate life, create stress, and be both physical y and psychological y harmful. The antidote is to simplify your life by changing or removing absolute beliefs and judgments that cause you stress.
This exercise will help you discover and explore your own problematic absolute beliefs and judgments, which is
appointment to see a doctor. Her mind spun, wondering what to
do.
Jane went to her computer and searched online for
information about brown spots on the forehead. She saw pictures
at a number of sites that resembled the spot she had on her
forehead. These sites called it an age spot or liver spot and said it was a harmless effect of excessive sun exposure. Nevertheless, she thought, I couldn’t be so lucky. I bet it is a cancer!
So she searched for the term “skin cancer” and once again
found an endless number of sites. The more she looked at pictures
at site after site, the stronger her belief that she had skin cancer became. She felt the spot over and over and decided it was raised.
The more she looked at it, the more it looked irregular, both in
shape and at the edges. Her breathing became rapid and shallow.
Her mouth got quite dry, and her thoughts began to race: It’s a melanoma! I don’t want to die. What am I going to do?
Jane looked up at the clock and saw that it was now late
enough that her doctor’s office would be open. She immediately
called and told the nurse that she thought she had a melanoma
and wanted to make an appointment for that day. The nurse said
the doctor was booked up until the end of the week, but there was
a dermatologist in the building, who was more qualified to see her 47
uncorrected proof
The Tao of Stress
for this concern anyway. Jane contacted the dermatologist’s office and made an appointment for the first time slot available— a few
days later at 3 p.m.
For the entire time until she saw the doctor, Jane believed she
had a melanoma and that the worst was going to happen. She
shared her concern with her friends and family, and although
everyone believed she just had an age spot, they couldn’t sway her from believing it was cancerous. She became locked in a negative
loop as her absolute beliefs resulted in insomnia, loss of appetite, high anxiety, tension, and hardly being able to think about
anything else. She was so stressed by her belief that she called in sick to work.
After Jane arrived at the doctor’s office, the intensity of her
stress increased because she believed that once the doctor saw the spot on her forehead, he would confirm her fear. Finally, she was
taken to an exam room. A few minutes later, the doctor walked in,
introduced himself, and looked at the spot. Then he looked at it
again through a huge magnifying glass. He told Jane it was an age
spot and that she had nothing to worry about. To say Jane felt
relieved would be an understatement. He also told her she had
been smart to come in to have him look at it.
Most of us have been in situations where we were waiting for a
doctor’s response about symptoms, a blood test, a biopsy, an X- ray, and so on. In most cases, we worry about it to a certain degree.
Uncertainty creates anxiety. This is normal.
However, when we have an absolute, threat- based belief, we
can end up harming ourselves, even though there may be no
information to support that belief. Once Jane arrived at an
absolute belief that she had a melanoma, her fight- or- flight
response was activated, and she kept it activated with her ongoing threat- based thinking. As a result she was chronically stressed, and the stress was so severe that it interfered with her sleep, eating, physical health, and emotional well- being.
48
uncorrected proof
Simplifying Your Thoughts
Practice Examining Your Beliefs
Both of the preceding stories point out how absolute beliefs and judgments can complicate life, create stress, and be both physical y and psychological y harmful. The antidote is to simplify your life by changing or removing absolute beliefs and judgments that cause you stress.
This exercise will help you discover and explore your own problematic absolute beliefs and judgments, which is
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