Read Online The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible by Dr. Ali Binazir - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Dr. Ali Binazir
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life long-term.
The Stage 2 guy – Lance – is fine for this kind of relationship. You have (and will have) many joyous, fulfilling relationships with Lance. Just be aware that the full flourishing of you will probably not occur with a Lance, and so turning him into a marriage prospect, as sensible as it may seem at the moment, is likely to be a formula for long-term disappointment. And we're all about enlightened self-interest here, which has your long-term fulfillment in mind. He just may not be ready for you – ever.
Finally, there's Victor, the Stage 3 guy. He would be great for this kind of relationship (or any kind, really). The only issue is that if you're not on the market for marriage, you may not be ready for him . Reverse disappointment is still disappointment, and teasing yourself with this amazing guy with whom you can't stay (for whatever reason) is something to consider.
Long-term relationships (also known as 'marriage' or 'life partnership'). For this kind of relationship, I can only recommend the Stage 3 man. You are long done with Biff, you can handle Lance fine but he can't handle you, and now you're ready for the real thing. Although there are probably more Lances and Biffs than Victors, there are are still plenty of Victors out there, so keep an eye out for them. The good news is that many Lances have the capacity to turn into Victors, especially when they are in relationship with a fully-realized goddess (that would be you). If anything has the power to transform, it is love, so take heart.
Chapter 5. Understanding Men, Understanding Yourself
The purpose of this chapter is to give you some general insight into men's dating behavior. After reading it, you may still not be able to predict guy behavior, but you'll have an outside chance of understanding it instead of being baffled by it.
Note that there are as many different types of men as there are males inhabiting this planet – about 3.2 billion of them so far. Attempting to boil down this exceptionally diverse cohort into a handful of tidy generalizations would be an oversimplification that does disservice to both you and the men. As Voltaire once said, "All generalizations are false, including this one." It's still best to examine each male specimen that comes along your way on a case-by-case basis.
At the same time, there are some principles that hold true about male behavior most (but not necessarily all) of the time. To paraphrase Shylock from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice , if you prick them they will bleed, if you tickle them they will laugh, and if you stand them up for a date they will be seriously bummed out. Men are people, too.
Subsequent to a spate of popular psychology books from the 1990s, the myth that men and women behave so differently as to be from different planets seems to have taken hold in the public imagination. Like most myths, these differences have not been supported by scientific evidence. As far as I can tell, men are from Earth and women are, too, and human beings are much more similar than they are different, regardless of sex. In fact, the behavioral and communicational differences between individual women (and between individual men) will be far greater than the differences between men and women as a group.
That said, there are some differences between the way men and women are built. Some of these differences have behavioral ramifications, and entire books have been written on the subject (see Pease & Pease). This book you are reading is about dating, so I will concentrate on what's relevant to that.
What's important here is to be cognizant of the differences. This is the first step towards understanding and perhaps tolerating
The Stage 2 guy – Lance – is fine for this kind of relationship. You have (and will have) many joyous, fulfilling relationships with Lance. Just be aware that the full flourishing of you will probably not occur with a Lance, and so turning him into a marriage prospect, as sensible as it may seem at the moment, is likely to be a formula for long-term disappointment. And we're all about enlightened self-interest here, which has your long-term fulfillment in mind. He just may not be ready for you – ever.
Finally, there's Victor, the Stage 3 guy. He would be great for this kind of relationship (or any kind, really). The only issue is that if you're not on the market for marriage, you may not be ready for him . Reverse disappointment is still disappointment, and teasing yourself with this amazing guy with whom you can't stay (for whatever reason) is something to consider.
Long-term relationships (also known as 'marriage' or 'life partnership'). For this kind of relationship, I can only recommend the Stage 3 man. You are long done with Biff, you can handle Lance fine but he can't handle you, and now you're ready for the real thing. Although there are probably more Lances and Biffs than Victors, there are are still plenty of Victors out there, so keep an eye out for them. The good news is that many Lances have the capacity to turn into Victors, especially when they are in relationship with a fully-realized goddess (that would be you). If anything has the power to transform, it is love, so take heart.
Chapter 5. Understanding Men, Understanding Yourself
The purpose of this chapter is to give you some general insight into men's dating behavior. After reading it, you may still not be able to predict guy behavior, but you'll have an outside chance of understanding it instead of being baffled by it.
Note that there are as many different types of men as there are males inhabiting this planet – about 3.2 billion of them so far. Attempting to boil down this exceptionally diverse cohort into a handful of tidy generalizations would be an oversimplification that does disservice to both you and the men. As Voltaire once said, "All generalizations are false, including this one." It's still best to examine each male specimen that comes along your way on a case-by-case basis.
At the same time, there are some principles that hold true about male behavior most (but not necessarily all) of the time. To paraphrase Shylock from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice , if you prick them they will bleed, if you tickle them they will laugh, and if you stand them up for a date they will be seriously bummed out. Men are people, too.
Subsequent to a spate of popular psychology books from the 1990s, the myth that men and women behave so differently as to be from different planets seems to have taken hold in the public imagination. Like most myths, these differences have not been supported by scientific evidence. As far as I can tell, men are from Earth and women are, too, and human beings are much more similar than they are different, regardless of sex. In fact, the behavioral and communicational differences between individual women (and between individual men) will be far greater than the differences between men and women as a group.
That said, there are some differences between the way men and women are built. Some of these differences have behavioral ramifications, and entire books have been written on the subject (see Pease & Pease). This book you are reading is about dating, so I will concentrate on what's relevant to that.
What's important here is to be cognizant of the differences. This is the first step towards understanding and perhaps tolerating
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