Read Online The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible by Dr. Ali Binazir - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Dr. Ali Binazir
Ads: Link
the guy majors in masculine and the girl majors in feminine.
Man
Woman
Stage 1: Co-dependent
all spine, no heart
no spine, all heart
Stage 2: Independent
less spine, more heart
more spine, less heart
Stage 3: Mutual Flourishing
both spine and heart
both spine and heart
The kind of guy you would want
Now that we've discussed the types of relationships that are possible with a man, it's easier to create a picture of the kind of man who would fit in that picture. As we said before, you're much more likely to find something if you have a good idea of what you're looking for. Throughout this book, we're going to talk about a prototype of a man with whom you're most likely to have a fulfilling relationship. He's the fellow from the Third Stage relationship we described above – the spiritual warrior, the man with both compassion and purpose, heart and spine. For short, henceforth I will call him the Good Guy , and we shall spend some time describing him in detail during the course of this book – things that will aid you in spotting him and inviting him into your life.
Now as you are sitting somewhere and reading this book, my dear reader, I don't really know you that well. However, I assume that if you’ve taken it upon yourself to pick up this book, you are interested in a fulfilling relationship. Fulfillment comes in many shapes and sizes, and the Tao of Dating is about giving you the tools to find that fulfillment, regardless of your starting point. Roughly speaking, we'll categorize relationships into three categories by duration – short, medium and long-term – and see how each guy fits in. Regardless of what constitutes your fulfillment, it helps if you enter into each kind of relationship consciously, knowing roughly what to expect.
Short-term relationships (also known as 'flings') . This is the kind of relationship you enter without expecting it to last long. It could be anything from an evening's encounter to a one-week vacation romance to a summer-long fling. The distinction here is your mindset: you are entering this relationship with few expectations as to long-term potential.
For this kind of relationship, any of the three kinds of men will probably do. However, there are ramifications. The first-stage guy, masculine but not very heart-centered, is the one you're most likely to have fun with while managing a clean break at the end. We'll call him Biff. The second-stage guy – the sensitive guy, whom we will dub Lance – is the one most likely to be hurt at the end. He'll probably try to keep in touch, calling and writing to tell you how much he misses you and how much you mean to him. This could be sweet but annoying at the same time. The third-stage guy – both strong and compassionate, whom we will call Victor – can handle whatever happens just fine. However, you will be more likely to be hurt at the end, realizing how much he meant to you and wanting more from him than he may be able to offer.
Medium-term relationships (also known as 'serious relationship' or 'boyfriend') . There comes a time when you want to be with a man for the long term, but not necessarily forever. You're ready for a lease, but maybe not a full purchase – a boyfriend, but not a husband. You're not necessarily entering the relationship thinking, "Well, this is going to last a few months and then I'll be moving along," but in effect that's what it is.
Starting with this kind of relationship, it's best to toss out the Stage 1 guy completely . Biff is at best a dessert, enjoyed sparingly; he is never a main course. If you substitute dessert for real, nutritious food on a regular basis, you will be unhappy and unhealthy, which is precisely the effect of having a Biff in your
Man
Woman
Stage 1: Co-dependent
all spine, no heart
no spine, all heart
Stage 2: Independent
less spine, more heart
more spine, less heart
Stage 3: Mutual Flourishing
both spine and heart
both spine and heart
The kind of guy you would want
Now that we've discussed the types of relationships that are possible with a man, it's easier to create a picture of the kind of man who would fit in that picture. As we said before, you're much more likely to find something if you have a good idea of what you're looking for. Throughout this book, we're going to talk about a prototype of a man with whom you're most likely to have a fulfilling relationship. He's the fellow from the Third Stage relationship we described above – the spiritual warrior, the man with both compassion and purpose, heart and spine. For short, henceforth I will call him the Good Guy , and we shall spend some time describing him in detail during the course of this book – things that will aid you in spotting him and inviting him into your life.
Now as you are sitting somewhere and reading this book, my dear reader, I don't really know you that well. However, I assume that if you’ve taken it upon yourself to pick up this book, you are interested in a fulfilling relationship. Fulfillment comes in many shapes and sizes, and the Tao of Dating is about giving you the tools to find that fulfillment, regardless of your starting point. Roughly speaking, we'll categorize relationships into three categories by duration – short, medium and long-term – and see how each guy fits in. Regardless of what constitutes your fulfillment, it helps if you enter into each kind of relationship consciously, knowing roughly what to expect.
Short-term relationships (also known as 'flings') . This is the kind of relationship you enter without expecting it to last long. It could be anything from an evening's encounter to a one-week vacation romance to a summer-long fling. The distinction here is your mindset: you are entering this relationship with few expectations as to long-term potential.
For this kind of relationship, any of the three kinds of men will probably do. However, there are ramifications. The first-stage guy, masculine but not very heart-centered, is the one you're most likely to have fun with while managing a clean break at the end. We'll call him Biff. The second-stage guy – the sensitive guy, whom we will dub Lance – is the one most likely to be hurt at the end. He'll probably try to keep in touch, calling and writing to tell you how much he misses you and how much you mean to him. This could be sweet but annoying at the same time. The third-stage guy – both strong and compassionate, whom we will call Victor – can handle whatever happens just fine. However, you will be more likely to be hurt at the end, realizing how much he meant to you and wanting more from him than he may be able to offer.
Medium-term relationships (also known as 'serious relationship' or 'boyfriend') . There comes a time when you want to be with a man for the long term, but not necessarily forever. You're ready for a lease, but maybe not a full purchase – a boyfriend, but not a husband. You're not necessarily entering the relationship thinking, "Well, this is going to last a few months and then I'll be moving along," but in effect that's what it is.
Starting with this kind of relationship, it's best to toss out the Stage 1 guy completely . Biff is at best a dessert, enjoyed sparingly; he is never a main course. If you substitute dessert for real, nutritious food on a regular basis, you will be unhappy and unhealthy, which is precisely the effect of having a Biff in your
Similar Books
