Read Online The Remarkable Flight of Marnie McPhee by Daniel Karasik - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Daniel Karasik
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with X-ray vision, can possibly find me?
She sees one of her dad's old textbooks that lie scattered on the basement floor.
Wait a minuteâ¦
She goes to a textbook, flips it open, pages through it.
What if Iâ¦
She looks up at us in wonder.
What if I built aâ¦
Aâ¦
Aâ¦
Yes!
Wooooooohooooooo!
She does a crazy dance of joy.
She notices the audience is still there, waiting.
Oh. You want to know what I'm talking about?
Well⦠maybe I'll tell you.
If you're nice.
2
Later that afternoonâ¦
MARNIE
Okay! Everyone's back from work and school! Therefore, it's time to begin my mission!âwhich is⦠shhhhh, because it's a secret, sort of: in order to buy materials for my Really Big Escape Idea, I need to acquire millions of dollars!
Mom! Dad!
Calling offstage to DAD:
MOM
I'm going out to take dinner and groceries to my mother, call me if you want me to bring you back something to eat.
MARNIE
Mom.
MOM's distracted, getting ready to leave.
Mom. MOM! MOM!
MOM
Yes, Marnie, what is it.
MARNIE
So, I need to acquire millions of dollars, and I had this idea for how to acquire them, and I was wonderingâ¦
MOM
I don't have time right now, Marnie, your grandmother's waiting for me.
MARNIE
But I really want to learn how to sew!
Which she pronounces "sue."
MOM
It's pronounced "so."
MARNIE
Whatever.
MOM
I'll show you next week when I have a bit more time.
MARNIE
But no, but I need to learn now, for commercial reasons!
MOM
For what reasons?
MARNIE
Commercial reasons! Commercial. Like when you sell something: commercial. Also when you advertise for it on TV. Same word. For those reasons. I need to learn how to sew so I can sell my sewage and make millions of dollars!
MOM
I really don't think you need millions of dollars, Marnie. If you want to buy a snack from the vending machine at school I can give you a loonieâ
MARNIE
Please, don't make me laugh! Ha. Ha. What I need to buy costs much more than a loonie. I need a million loonies!
MOM
What is this you've got your eye on?
MARNIE
Oh, nothing.
MOM
Your father and I can talk it over, and I believe somebody's got a birthday coming up pretty soonâ¦
MARNIE
Three months?! That's like the distant future!
MOM
I hope it's not a horse. Your father and I can't afford a horse.
MARNIE
It's not a horse.
MOM
That includes ponies.
MARNIE
It's not a horse including ponies. It's aâ¦
MOM
Yeah?
MARNIE
â¦it's a lot of scrap metal.
MOM
Hmm.
MARNIE
A lot of scrap metal. A lot.
MOM
A lot.
MARNIE
So much. This much.
MOM
I see. That is a lot.
MARNIE
I told you.
MOM
And what do you intend to do with that much scrap metal?
MARNIE
Oh, good question! Good question! But you don't have to worry about it, because I'm going to make the money myself. Through commercial sewage. What you make when you sew.
MOM
It's pronounced "so"!
MARNIE
I know! So I'm going to sew a lot of sewage.
MOM
We'll talk about this later.
MARNIE
Why not now?
MOM
Because your grandmother needs more toilet paper!
MARNIE
Why can't she go to the store?
MOM
Because she can't walk!
MARNIE
Sew what?
MOM
I don't have time for this right now, Marnie.
MARNIE
Why don't you sing anymore, Mom?
MOM
What?
MARNIE
â¦
MOM
I don't have time, Marnie. I just don't have time.
To us:
MARNIE
Okayyyyyyâ¦
I'll just have to get my millions of dollars from another source! And this other source can provide me not just with millions of dollars but also with information!
Dad!
DAD
Right. Uh-huh. Yeah.
He's paging through a scrapbook of his glory days in aeronautics. Oblivious.
MARNIE
What are you reading?
DAD
Ancient history. This is me in astronaut school. And this is me beside the spaceship I was supposed to go up in. It was in the newspaper, see?
MARNIE
Anyway, Dad, what I wanted to know is, a) do you have millions of dollars I could borrow, and b) how do you build
She sees one of her dad's old textbooks that lie scattered on the basement floor.
Wait a minuteâ¦
She goes to a textbook, flips it open, pages through it.
What if Iâ¦
She looks up at us in wonder.
What if I built aâ¦
Aâ¦
Aâ¦
Yes!
Wooooooohooooooo!
She does a crazy dance of joy.
She notices the audience is still there, waiting.
Oh. You want to know what I'm talking about?
Well⦠maybe I'll tell you.
If you're nice.
2
Later that afternoonâ¦
MARNIE
Okay! Everyone's back from work and school! Therefore, it's time to begin my mission!âwhich is⦠shhhhh, because it's a secret, sort of: in order to buy materials for my Really Big Escape Idea, I need to acquire millions of dollars!
Mom! Dad!
Calling offstage to DAD:
MOM
I'm going out to take dinner and groceries to my mother, call me if you want me to bring you back something to eat.
MARNIE
Mom.
MOM's distracted, getting ready to leave.
Mom. MOM! MOM!
MOM
Yes, Marnie, what is it.
MARNIE
So, I need to acquire millions of dollars, and I had this idea for how to acquire them, and I was wonderingâ¦
MOM
I don't have time right now, Marnie, your grandmother's waiting for me.
MARNIE
But I really want to learn how to sew!
Which she pronounces "sue."
MOM
It's pronounced "so."
MARNIE
Whatever.
MOM
I'll show you next week when I have a bit more time.
MARNIE
But no, but I need to learn now, for commercial reasons!
MOM
For what reasons?
MARNIE
Commercial reasons! Commercial. Like when you sell something: commercial. Also when you advertise for it on TV. Same word. For those reasons. I need to learn how to sew so I can sell my sewage and make millions of dollars!
MOM
I really don't think you need millions of dollars, Marnie. If you want to buy a snack from the vending machine at school I can give you a loonieâ
MARNIE
Please, don't make me laugh! Ha. Ha. What I need to buy costs much more than a loonie. I need a million loonies!
MOM
What is this you've got your eye on?
MARNIE
Oh, nothing.
MOM
Your father and I can talk it over, and I believe somebody's got a birthday coming up pretty soonâ¦
MARNIE
Three months?! That's like the distant future!
MOM
I hope it's not a horse. Your father and I can't afford a horse.
MARNIE
It's not a horse.
MOM
That includes ponies.
MARNIE
It's not a horse including ponies. It's aâ¦
MOM
Yeah?
MARNIE
â¦it's a lot of scrap metal.
MOM
Hmm.
MARNIE
A lot of scrap metal. A lot.
MOM
A lot.
MARNIE
So much. This much.
MOM
I see. That is a lot.
MARNIE
I told you.
MOM
And what do you intend to do with that much scrap metal?
MARNIE
Oh, good question! Good question! But you don't have to worry about it, because I'm going to make the money myself. Through commercial sewage. What you make when you sew.
MOM
It's pronounced "so"!
MARNIE
I know! So I'm going to sew a lot of sewage.
MOM
We'll talk about this later.
MARNIE
Why not now?
MOM
Because your grandmother needs more toilet paper!
MARNIE
Why can't she go to the store?
MOM
Because she can't walk!
MARNIE
Sew what?
MOM
I don't have time for this right now, Marnie.
MARNIE
Why don't you sing anymore, Mom?
MOM
What?
MARNIE
â¦
MOM
I don't have time, Marnie. I just don't have time.
To us:
MARNIE
Okayyyyyyâ¦
I'll just have to get my millions of dollars from another source! And this other source can provide me not just with millions of dollars but also with information!
Dad!
DAD
Right. Uh-huh. Yeah.
He's paging through a scrapbook of his glory days in aeronautics. Oblivious.
MARNIE
What are you reading?
DAD
Ancient history. This is me in astronaut school. And this is me beside the spaceship I was supposed to go up in. It was in the newspaper, see?
MARNIE
Anyway, Dad, what I wanted to know is, a) do you have millions of dollars I could borrow, and b) how do you build
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