Read Online The Reluctant Elf (Kindle Single) by Michele Gorman - Free Book Online

something to feed everyone with their tea. I haven’t the faintest idea how to bake and, judging by Danny’s efforts so far, neither has he. That leaves sandwiches, but with no smoked salmon and now no eggs, what are we supposed to make?
    The bell over the door rings. They must have found the button in the parlour.
    ‘The Master calls. I’ll be right back. Meanwhile try to think of something we can use for sandwiches.'
    ‘Sure,’ he says. ‘Is it okay if I run home quickly?’
    ‘Have you got something at home that we could use?’
    He frowns. ‘I’m a bachelor living alone. They won’t want pot noodles.’
    ‘Right. Wishful thinking. You may as well do whatever you need to do at home. You don’t need to be back here till six. I’ll try to think of something.’
     
    Prunella is prostrate on one of the sofas in front of the fire with her hand over her eyes, while the twins take turns throwing the Yahtzee dice at each other from five paces.
    ‘Is everything all right?’
    ‘I have a splitting headache,’ says Prunella. ‘Have you got any tablets?’
    ‘Sure, I’ll just go get them.’
    ‘Bring in some more of that drink, will you?’ Hugo asks. ‘Actually I can help you carry the glasses.’
    He hops up from the chair, swaying slightly as he does so.
    ‘Hugo, I’m sure she’s perfectly capable of carrying a tray by herself. Honestly, it is what she does.’
    It’s not worth pointing out that what I do is design gaming software for brats like hers.
    ‘To tell the truth, I don’t mind getting away from the family for a while,’ Hugo says as he follows me to the kitchen. ‘We were supposed to go to Tanzania and they’re still angry with Rupert for bringing us to Wales instead. But it’s his dosh so I can’t really blame him for choosing a free holiday over one that’d cost a packet.’
    ‘Free?’ Aunt Kate doesn’t charge very much for her rooms but they aren’t free.
    ‘All expenses paid, Rupert said. I guess that’s because your aunt needs the rating. She’s comped our whole stay.’
    Terrific. Not only are we killing ourselves to please these pompous farts, we’re doing it for free.
    I can feel him come up behind me as I reach into the cabinet for glasses. He’s standing way too close. This is a rural kitchen, not a rush-hour Tube train.
    I should grind my heel into his foot but Aunt Kate pops into my head. If she has comped Rupert’s whole stay then it tells me just how much she feels she needs his rating. As much as I’d love to castrate Hugo, I can’t throw away her only chance.
    He grasps the counter on either side of me as I turn with the glasses. ‘I couldn’t help but notice the way you looked at me earlier.’
    Yes, with utter contempt.
    ‘I’m sorry, I—’
    ‘Ssh, you don’t have to be sorry.’
    As his blubbery lips dart towards mine I get a whiff of his foul breath.
    ‘Jesus!’ he shouts, with his upper lip clenched between my teeth.
    Oh my god. I’ve bitten the reviewer’s brother-in-law.
    But then he smiles (when I release his lip) and shrugs. ‘Oh I see, you like to play hard to get.’
    Behind Hugo I see a movement.
    ‘I didn’t mean to interrupt.’
    Rupert is standing in the doorway, watching us.
     

Chapter Nine
     
    Hugo springs backward at the sound of his brother-in-law’s voice. ‘No, I don’t think there’s anything in your eye,’ he says. ‘I can’t see anything.’
    ‘Thanks. Actually it feels better now.’
    My heart is hammering.
    ‘Would you like a drink, Rupert?’ I ask.
    ‘No, thank you. I was just checking on when tea would be ready. I’ve got some work to do.’
    ‘Would seven be all right? We’ll serve it in the parlour. I’ve just got to get some headache tablets for Prunella.’
    I rush from the room, leaving the two men staring each other down.
    What must Rupert think? They’ve been here less than three hours and I’ve just rounded off an afternoon of bathtub gin and a questionable lunch with a romantic interlude