Read Online The Reluctant Elf (Kindle Single) by Michele Gorman - Free Book Online Page A

in the arms of his sister’s husband.
    Unless one of his rating categories includes staff promiscuity, I’ve just put Aunt Kate’s livelihood in jeopardy.
     
    ‘Are you okay?’ Danny asks when he returns at six on the dot. ‘You look weird.’
    Humiliation is coursing through me. I don’t want to tell Danny what happened in the kitchen.
    ‘Oh I’m fine. I think this corset is too tight, that’s all. I’ve been thinking about the sandwich situation. We can serve some of the caviar for the adults and make peanut butter and jam sandwiches for the twins. Aunt Kate has about three jars of it in the larder and Mabel goes nuts for the stuff, so I’m sure the twins will love it.’
    ‘That’s going to be hard to spin as Victorian,’ he says.
    ‘We can’t be perfect. At least they won’t go hungry. Just toast the bread for the caviar. With a little lemon it’ll be great. Very decadent. I’ll make another batch of drinks.’
    Maybe if Hugo drinks enough he’ll pass out before he can lunge at me again.
    ‘I’ve got to turn down everyone’s beds while they’re all downstairs, and restock the bathrooms. You’re okay making the sandwiches and the tea?’
    He nods, already counting out slices of bread.
     
    It’s only taken a few hours for the parlour to look like a bomb’s hit it. The twins have pulled nearly every book from the shelves. The cushions are off all the sofas and unoccupied chairs and Oliver is throwing the Monopoly money in the air to watch it rain down over everything.
    Danny noses the tea trolley through the door.
    ‘Look, darlings, tea!’ Hugo says. His earlier sexual assault seems forgotten but I’m pleased to see that his lip is swollen. Prunella hasn’t noticed, but then she hasn’t really paid him any attention since they arrived.
    Rupert is staring at the trolley.
    ‘Is everything okay?’ I ask before I can stop myself. What if he outs me like a real-life edition of Cluedo? It was Ms Crisp in the kitchen with a romantic embrace.
    ‘I was just remembering my Granny’s tea trolley. It looked just like that.’
    Probably with better food though.
    ‘Do you remember it, Prunella?’
    ‘I remember that she stank,’ she says, shifting to a sitting position. ‘I don’t know why you insist on deifying her, Rupert.’
    ‘I don’t deify her, Pru, I just have good memories of being with her. Maybe if you let yourself feel anything but dissatisfaction, you would, too.’
    ‘You can be ridiculous sometimes. I’ll just have a cup of tea,’ she says to me. ‘White. I’m not hungry after that lunch.’
    ‘Of course,’ I say, pouring her a cup and wishing they wouldn’t bicker in front of “the help”. ‘Would everyone like tea?’
    ‘I’ll have some more of that cocktail, if there’s any going,’ Hugo says.
    I’m not about to leave the safety of the room again. ‘Danny, could you please make a pitcher?’
    ‘What’s this?’ Amanda demands as she picks up a sandwich.
    ‘It’s peanut butter and jam,’ I say. ‘My daughter loves them and I thought…’
    Her tongue darts into the side of the sandwich. ‘Yuck, I hate it!’ She throws it back on the plate.
    ‘I hate it too!’ cries Oliver, on sight alone. ‘I’m not eating it.’
    ‘You don’t have to eat it, darlings. They’ll make whatever you want.’
    ‘Well actually…’
    ‘Do you want to try a special one?’ Danny says smoothly as he returns with a fresh pitcher of blinding cocktail. ‘Children aren’t usually allowed to have these. But since it is Christmas I think you could…’ He seems to reconsider. ‘Well, maybe you’re not ready for one.’
    ‘Yes, I want one!’ says Oliver.
    ‘Me too, give it to me now!’
    Danny sighs. ‘Well all right, but you’re very lucky.’ He hands a sandwich from the second plate to each child.
    What are those?
    Amanda and Oliver look unsure as they sniff the toasted bread. Then Amanda, in her trademark move, sticks her tongue into the side. Her eyes widen. She