Read Online The Rebel's Return (Red River) by Victoria James - Free Book Online

civil?” Regret was etched in the hard lines of his face and was laced through his words. If she told him no, she couldn’t forgive him, she’d be revealing how much he meant to her, and on some level that she’d never gotten over him. But if she pretended she was fine…well, then she’d have to pretend she was fine and be…nice to him.
    She turned away from his intense gaze and looked out at the river. The sun was fully up now, a slight mist still in the air. How many times had she pictured the two of them married, taking walks along the riverside path? She had never pictured them here, like this. “You broke my heart, Aiden. You publicly humiliated me. I get that part of it’s on me.”
    “None of it was on you. It was all me.” His voice was harsh, angry, and she glanced over at him, compelled because of the regret.
    “How could you have cheated on me?” she whispered, vocalizing the thoughts she’d had for so many years. If he’d really loved her, if he’d really cared, he would have waited for her. “I know it was high school, and maybe it seems silly to make it into something more. Maybe for you it meant nothing.”
    “It meant everything. You meant everything to me. None of it was a lie. Everything you felt, I felt. You were the girl I was going to marry. You were the girl I would’ve stayed clean for. You were the girl I would have done anything for.”
    She blinked back tears and looked away from him for a moment. “But you didn’t. You couldn’t even do the basics—like stay faithful.”
    His jaw clenched. “I was an idiot. I was young and stupid, and I didn’t deserve you.”
    “You weren’t, though,” she whispered, finally admitting out loud everything she’d ever thought about him. “You were so good to me. No one got me like you did, Aiden. No one ever made me feel the way you did. You made me feel safe and wild at the same time. You made me feel things… I just… I would have forgiven anything but you cheating.”
    He looked away from her, and for a second she thought she saw something flash across his eyes. “I will always regret what I did to you. I needed to make changes after…”
    “Then when you did? Why didn’t you try to contact me?” It shouldn’t matter. She wouldn’t have been able to move past the cheating, but at least him calling and trying to make amends might have meant that he’d really cared. At least she might have found comfort in knowing that he’d loved her and had regrets. Leaving like that, without ever trying to contact her again made him seem so cold and like he could forget her so easily.
    He looked down for a minute, then up again at her, and his eyes glistened with something that made goose bumps pop all over her skin. “I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I didn’t want to screw up your life. It took me a long time to get it together. I had nothing to give you. I was messed up, and I needed to get my crap together.”
    “Then what about after? Once you and Dylan were settled with your business, why didn’t you call me then if you cared so much?” Her heart was beating painfully, blood rushing to her head, pumping loudly in her body, voicing her deepest insecurities.
    He winced and didn’t say anything. “I have no excuse,” he said finally.
    “Because you’d moved on, right? Who cares about the stupid, naive girl back in Red River? Well, thanks, you just confirmed everything I ever thought about you. You walk around here pretending you actually cared about me, and it’s all an act. Fine, maybe your conscience is a little dirty because of what you did, but you never once tried.”
    “I would have. I would have done anything to get you back if I thought I’d be good enough for you.”
    She rolled her eyes. “Stop it. Stop pretending you’re noble and self-sacrificing. I don’t have time to stroll back down nightmare memory lane. In one hour, I need to be making my first delivery of the day.”
    Natalia turned and started back