Read Online The Prince Charles Letters by David Stubbs - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: David Stubbs
Ads: Link
issuing decrees by directing the forces of nature with just a jab of my forefinger. It seems to me you have those powers. What puzzles me is all you ever seem to do is bend spoons. I mean, hang it all! Here we are with untapped, supernatural forces at our disposal and all we’re producing is wonky cutlery. You teach me the trick and I’ll supply the vision for Britain – we could do great things.
Yours, in faith
HRH The Prince of Wales
Mike Yarwood
c/o The British Broadcasting Corporation
Wood Lane
London
England
12 March 1975
Dear Mr Yarwood
‘And this is me’ – that’s your catch phrase, I believe? Well, this is me : Prince Charles. I say this because it has been known for my correspondence to be sent back to me on the assumption that it’s some sort of fabrication concocted by a malicious impersonator.
You, I do not consider a malicious impersonator. As a family, I should say we have raised a wry smile at your Frank Spencer, your Brian Clough, your Mr Wilson and various trade union leaders. And one is flattered to note that one has also joined the ranks of your hallowed repertoire. An honour indeed!
Might I advance a little constructive criticism, though? I sometimes look in the mirror as I practise my public speeches and I have to say, what I see doesn’t altogether tally with the version of one that one sees when one tunes into The Mike Yarwood Show . I don’t say this out of any wounded pique but when I see you doing me, rather than reminding me of me, it reminds me of Mike Yarwood. Indeed, I think the same could be said of your Frank Spencer, your Brian Clough, your Mr Wilson and your trade union leaders. All of them remind me of Mike Yarwood. When you say, ‘and this is me’, I need hardly reminding of it.
As I say, constructive criticism. I hope you will take this on board and that your confidence is not damaged in any long-term manner.
Affectionately, yours
HRH The Prince of Wales
Harry Secombe
c/o Broadcasting House
London
England
17 May 1977
Dear Mr Secombe
As you know, you’ve always been one of my favourite ‘funnymen’ – in times of old, you’d doubtless have capered about my court in a cap’n’bells and Harlequin’s outfit, shaking a bladder on a stick and making remarks for which I would have had my Lord Chancellor beheaded, had he dared make them. None of that in modern times, of course, though one does get the nagging feeling that in ridding ourselves of the old ways, we have perhaps lost something.
But back to the point: as an occasional mirth-maker myself (amateur, but with one or two flattering ‘notices’ under my belt!), I’m fascinated by the idea of the ‘formula’ of comedy. In your case, I’d say it’s as follows:
30% fat
25% ‘zany’ voice
40% Welsh
5% ‘x-factor’
Is that a fair summary, do you feel? I’m not, of course, saying there is anything inherently amusing about the Welsh – I’d get into fearful hot water, were I to say that – just that you make being Welsh feel very funny indeed. As for that ‘x-factor’, what is it, I wonder? Sweat? You do sweat a lot, I’ve noticed at close quarters. I hope this is not because you feel ill at ease among royalty.
Your old chum
HRH The Prince of Wales
Morecambe and Wise
c/o BBC Television Centre
London
England
6 January 1978
Dear Eric – or is it Ernie?
Anyway, it’s the funny one I wish to talk to, if that aids identification. I have a question that has been bugging me for some time – some years, in fact. It concerns your act. Now, I pride myself on having a tremendous sense of humour, within the bounds of reason, of course. And I must admit I laugh myself silly at your antics on the ‘Christmas Show’ – I am long accustomed to amusing my brother Edward with that thing you do with the paper bag.
However, there is one ‘bit’ that leaves me stone cold: when you shout the word ‘Arsenal’ for no reason. ‘Arsenal!’ you shout. But I simply
Yours, in faith
HRH The Prince of Wales
Mike Yarwood
c/o The British Broadcasting Corporation
Wood Lane
London
England
12 March 1975
Dear Mr Yarwood
‘And this is me’ – that’s your catch phrase, I believe? Well, this is me : Prince Charles. I say this because it has been known for my correspondence to be sent back to me on the assumption that it’s some sort of fabrication concocted by a malicious impersonator.
You, I do not consider a malicious impersonator. As a family, I should say we have raised a wry smile at your Frank Spencer, your Brian Clough, your Mr Wilson and various trade union leaders. And one is flattered to note that one has also joined the ranks of your hallowed repertoire. An honour indeed!
Might I advance a little constructive criticism, though? I sometimes look in the mirror as I practise my public speeches and I have to say, what I see doesn’t altogether tally with the version of one that one sees when one tunes into The Mike Yarwood Show . I don’t say this out of any wounded pique but when I see you doing me, rather than reminding me of me, it reminds me of Mike Yarwood. Indeed, I think the same could be said of your Frank Spencer, your Brian Clough, your Mr Wilson and your trade union leaders. All of them remind me of Mike Yarwood. When you say, ‘and this is me’, I need hardly reminding of it.
As I say, constructive criticism. I hope you will take this on board and that your confidence is not damaged in any long-term manner.
Affectionately, yours
HRH The Prince of Wales
Harry Secombe
c/o Broadcasting House
London
England
17 May 1977
Dear Mr Secombe
As you know, you’ve always been one of my favourite ‘funnymen’ – in times of old, you’d doubtless have capered about my court in a cap’n’bells and Harlequin’s outfit, shaking a bladder on a stick and making remarks for which I would have had my Lord Chancellor beheaded, had he dared make them. None of that in modern times, of course, though one does get the nagging feeling that in ridding ourselves of the old ways, we have perhaps lost something.
But back to the point: as an occasional mirth-maker myself (amateur, but with one or two flattering ‘notices’ under my belt!), I’m fascinated by the idea of the ‘formula’ of comedy. In your case, I’d say it’s as follows:
30% fat
25% ‘zany’ voice
40% Welsh
5% ‘x-factor’
Is that a fair summary, do you feel? I’m not, of course, saying there is anything inherently amusing about the Welsh – I’d get into fearful hot water, were I to say that – just that you make being Welsh feel very funny indeed. As for that ‘x-factor’, what is it, I wonder? Sweat? You do sweat a lot, I’ve noticed at close quarters. I hope this is not because you feel ill at ease among royalty.
Your old chum
HRH The Prince of Wales
Morecambe and Wise
c/o BBC Television Centre
London
England
6 January 1978
Dear Eric – or is it Ernie?
Anyway, it’s the funny one I wish to talk to, if that aids identification. I have a question that has been bugging me for some time – some years, in fact. It concerns your act. Now, I pride myself on having a tremendous sense of humour, within the bounds of reason, of course. And I must admit I laugh myself silly at your antics on the ‘Christmas Show’ – I am long accustomed to amusing my brother Edward with that thing you do with the paper bag.
However, there is one ‘bit’ that leaves me stone cold: when you shout the word ‘Arsenal’ for no reason. ‘Arsenal!’ you shout. But I simply
Similar Books
