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plenty. She has tried playing with his nipples – tweaking them and rubbing them in the way that she knows he likes. She has tried sucking them – five minutes on each, and then gently taking his penis into her mouth and pulling at it with all the strength she has in her cheeks.
She sucks him and sucks him, applying greater and greater pressure on his partially swollen cock. It stiffens for a while, but fails to maintain any form of harder turgidity. He breathes harshly through his mouth. His fingers dig into her hair and pulls at her tendrils, willing himself to concentrate so that he wouldn’t disappoint her.
But all he can think about is Delilah. Her red, red hair. The curl of her lips.
None of it in a good way.
And the missing time that has engulfed his memory.
It’s no use. He’s not going to maintain any semblance of an erection. At least, not one hard enough to penetrate anything.
After a while, he gently pushes Sam away.
“I don’t think I’m up for it tonight,” he confesses.
“That’s a first. It’s usually the opposite – me having to fend you off because we have already screwed four times that day and I was sore.”
He gives her a wry smile. “Am I really that bad?”
“Sometimes. For a man your age, your stamina is amazing, come to think of it.”
“If you’re trying to cheer me up, it’s not working. I’m doomed to be morose for all eternity and be baggage to my friends.” He’s trying to recover his old sarcasm, but even that is deflated tonight.
She creeps up to rest her head on his chest.
“I believe you,” she says.
“About being baggage?”
“No. About when you said you didn’t do it.”
“Guilty until proven otherwise.”
“Tell me what happened.”
He tells her in hesitant bits and pieces, leaving nothing out. Theirs has always been an honest, no-holds-barred relationship. If she wants details on another woman, he’d tell her. He has nothing to hide, even from her.
“And here I thought you were coming back to the Galois,” she says, a little pensively. “I was hoping we’d go back to my place to screw.”
He laughs. “And here I thought you had met some dishy phantom and you were screwing him in an abandoned section of the opera house.”
“I don’t do things like that.”
“You should.” He strokes her hair. “I do.”
“Screw phantoms?”
He sighs. “I knew there was a comeuppance in there somewhere.”
“Brian, why are you scared? You didn’t do it.”
“I blanked out.”
“Did your blood results come back?”
“Not yet.”
“If you blanked out, then you should be technically passed out. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything.”
“I don’t know,” he says guardedly. “I just don’t know.”
She stays silent for a long while. She strokes his chest, taking care to avoid his vicious scratch marks. She likes cuddling up to him, he knows. Staying in bed with him in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Talking to him. Skin to skin. Body warmth to body warmth.
After a spell, she says, “Why do you say that, Brian?”
He hesitates. He wonders if he should tell her. But maybe that’s why it happened. Because he never told anyone. Shit happens when you keep it all quashed up inside of you like a big bug.
He swallows.
“I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“That I would just be like . . . my father.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because . . . ” He pauses. This is so hard. So very hard. Harder than he thought it would be.
“Brian, did something . . . happen to you?”
She is treading very cautiously here. She is still stroking his chest, but her gestures have slowed down, as if she’s afraid to snap him out of his current pensiveness.
“When I was ten, my father came home one night. Drunk. My mother wasn’t around. I was acting out again. Refusing to do something he told me to do. I don’t know why I did those things then. Maybe some part of me wanted his attention, and it was the only attention I got from
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