Read Online The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön - Free Book Online
Authors: Pema Chödrön
Tags: Tibetan Buddhism
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others and that this natural inclination can be nurtured. This is what we are doing when we make the aspirations. If we do not cultivate these inclinations, however, they will diminish. Bodhichitta is like a yeast that never loses potency. Any time we add the moisture and warmth of compassion, it will automatically expand. If we keep it in the freezer, however, nothing happens.
I find it particularly helpful to take the compassionate aspirations into the marketplace. I like to do these practices right in the midst of this paradoxical, unpredictable world. In this way I work with my intention but I also begin to act. In traditional terms, this is cultivating both the aspiration and the action levels of bodhichitta. Sometimes this is the only way to make this practice feel relevant to the suffering we continually witness.
Standing in the checkout line, I might notice the defiant teenager in front of me and make the aspiration, “May he be free of suffering and its causes.” In the elevator with a stranger, I might notice her shoes, her hands, the expression on her face. I contemplate the fact that just like me she doesn’t want stress in her life. Just like me she has worries. Through our hopes and fears, our pleasures and pains, we are deeply interconnected. I do this sort of thing in all kinds of situations—at the breakfast table, in the meditation hall, at the dentist’s office.
When I practice the aspirations on the spot, I no longer feel so separated from others. When I read in the news that someone I don’t know was in a car crash, I try not to just pass on to the next article. I generate compassion for her and her family as if she were my best friend. Even more challenging is to make these aspirations for someone who has been violent toward others.
The aspiration practices of the four qualities are training in not holding back, training in seeing our biases and not feeding them. Gradually we will get the hang of going beyond our fear of feeling pain. This is what it takes to become involved with the sorrows of the world, to extend love and compassion, joy and equanimity to everyone—no exceptions.
A teacher once told me that if I wanted lasting happiness, the only way to get it was to step out of my cocoon. When I asked her how to bring happiness to others, she said, “Same instruction.” This is the reason that I work with these aspiration practices: the best way to serve ourselves is to love and care for others. These are powerful tools for dissolving the barriers that perpetuate not just our own unhappiness, but the suffering of all beings.
9
Tonglen
In joy and sorrow all are equal,
Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself.
—SHANTIDEVA
T ONGLEN, or exchanging oneself for others, is another bodhichitta practice for activating loving-kindness and compassion. In Tibetan the word tonglen literally means “sending and taking.” It refers to being willing to take in the pain and suffering of ourselves and others and to send out happiness to us all. The bodhichitta teachings that Atisha took to Tibet included the practice of tonglen.
Although there are many ways that we can approach tonglen, the essence of the practice is always the same. We breathe in what is painful and unwanted with the sincere wish that we and others could be free of suffering. As we do so, we drop the story line that goes along with the pain and feel the underlying energy. We completely open our hearts and minds to whatever arises. Exhaling, we send out relief from the pain with the intention that we and others be happy.
When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we gradually learn not to fear it. Then when we see someone in distress we’re not reluctant to breathe in the person’s suffering and send out relief.
The formal practice of tonglen has four stages. The first stage is a brief moment of stillness or openness—a moment of unconditional bodhichitta. The second stage is visualizing and
I find it particularly helpful to take the compassionate aspirations into the marketplace. I like to do these practices right in the midst of this paradoxical, unpredictable world. In this way I work with my intention but I also begin to act. In traditional terms, this is cultivating both the aspiration and the action levels of bodhichitta. Sometimes this is the only way to make this practice feel relevant to the suffering we continually witness.
Standing in the checkout line, I might notice the defiant teenager in front of me and make the aspiration, “May he be free of suffering and its causes.” In the elevator with a stranger, I might notice her shoes, her hands, the expression on her face. I contemplate the fact that just like me she doesn’t want stress in her life. Just like me she has worries. Through our hopes and fears, our pleasures and pains, we are deeply interconnected. I do this sort of thing in all kinds of situations—at the breakfast table, in the meditation hall, at the dentist’s office.
When I practice the aspirations on the spot, I no longer feel so separated from others. When I read in the news that someone I don’t know was in a car crash, I try not to just pass on to the next article. I generate compassion for her and her family as if she were my best friend. Even more challenging is to make these aspirations for someone who has been violent toward others.
The aspiration practices of the four qualities are training in not holding back, training in seeing our biases and not feeding them. Gradually we will get the hang of going beyond our fear of feeling pain. This is what it takes to become involved with the sorrows of the world, to extend love and compassion, joy and equanimity to everyone—no exceptions.
A teacher once told me that if I wanted lasting happiness, the only way to get it was to step out of my cocoon. When I asked her how to bring happiness to others, she said, “Same instruction.” This is the reason that I work with these aspiration practices: the best way to serve ourselves is to love and care for others. These are powerful tools for dissolving the barriers that perpetuate not just our own unhappiness, but the suffering of all beings.
9
Tonglen
In joy and sorrow all are equal,
Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself.
—SHANTIDEVA
T ONGLEN, or exchanging oneself for others, is another bodhichitta practice for activating loving-kindness and compassion. In Tibetan the word tonglen literally means “sending and taking.” It refers to being willing to take in the pain and suffering of ourselves and others and to send out happiness to us all. The bodhichitta teachings that Atisha took to Tibet included the practice of tonglen.
Although there are many ways that we can approach tonglen, the essence of the practice is always the same. We breathe in what is painful and unwanted with the sincere wish that we and others could be free of suffering. As we do so, we drop the story line that goes along with the pain and feel the underlying energy. We completely open our hearts and minds to whatever arises. Exhaling, we send out relief from the pain with the intention that we and others be happy.
When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we gradually learn not to fear it. Then when we see someone in distress we’re not reluctant to breathe in the person’s suffering and send out relief.
The formal practice of tonglen has four stages. The first stage is a brief moment of stillness or openness—a moment of unconditional bodhichitta. The second stage is visualizing and
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